So I'm Thirsty

I've mentioned it before, but as I sit here and I'd like a beverage, it's annoying me.

I'm always thirsty. Not thirsty in an omg my mouth is so dry I might die, kind of way. More in a, I am unable to have a glass of any sort of beverage beside me because one of three children will immediately drink it or scream and carry on until they are allowed to do so.

Long ago, I gave up having a beverage.

Someone visited once, and I served beers in the late afternoon like normal adults might. But no, there was such a freak out over the beverages and how the twins needed those beers that it was pointless. Plus it was embarrassing.

I'd like a glass of cheap fruity wine right now. Not good wine. Cheap, purple wine from the grocery store that is icy cold. Full on midwestern America palate is what I have, and I make no apologies. But, that's not coming until at least midnight and by then I'll be too tired so it will remain in the fridge.

It's not like they don't HAVE something to drink. We always make sure they have water, and we refill it whenever asked. But they can have a full cup of icy cold water but whatever it is I have, or their father has, is suddenly the most sought after beverage ever.

In my mind, every time they steal a drink I hear them saying "MMM That IS a Tasty Beverage!"

So you know, obviously I don't mess with them.
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So I'm Thirsty

I've mentioned it before, but as I sit here and I'd like a beverage, it's annoying me.

I'm always thirsty. Not thirsty in an omg my mouth is so dry I might die, kind of way. More in a, I am unable to have a glass of any sort of beverage beside me because one of three children will immediately drink it or scream and carry on until they are allowed to do so.

Long ago, I gave up having a beverage.

Someone visited once, and I served beers in the late afternoon like normal adults might. But no, there was such a freak out over the beverages and how the twins needed those beers that it was pointless. Plus it was embarrassing.

I'd like a glass of cheap fruity wine right now. Not good wine. Cheap, purple wine from the grocery store that is icy cold. Full on midwestern America palate is what I have, and I make no apologies. But, that's not coming until at least midnight and by then I'll be too tired so it will remain in the fridge.

It's not like they don't HAVE something to drink. We always make sure they have water, and we refill it whenever asked. But they can have a full cup of icy cold water but whatever it is I have, or their father has, is suddenly the most sought after beverage ever.

In my mind, every time they steal a drink I hear them saying "MMM That IS a Tasty Beverage!"

So you know, obviously I don't mess with them.
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Talking To Charlie

People will ask me, trying to engage me about the twins, "What do they like? What do they think abou this or that? Are they excited about this or that?" Those questions are really hard to answer.

You know how you know your toddler likes something, how they show interest in it? That's how we know what they like. They don't say "Wow this is great I want this." They just, show interest. Or scream if you take it away.

I decided that since most people think autistics are the RainMan (I wish), I might take some time to show you short examples of what auitsm is like at our house.

We had a bath last night, and after ward we were up in the computer room/play room. Charlie and I had a short conversation about what he wanted to watch on TV.

This is an example of a very full conversation with my 9 year old son.
Talking To Charlie

That's it. That's as informative and talkative as it gets. And this is REALLY good. It's calm, he's kind of happy.

But that's just it. Is it what you thought?

No. It isn't what I thought either.
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Talking To Charlie

People will ask me, trying to engage me about the twins, "What do they like? What do they think abou this or that? Are they excited about this or that?" Those questions are really hard to answer.

You know how you know your toddler likes something, how they show interest in it? That's how we know what they like. They don't say "Wow this is great I want this." They just, show interest. Or scream if you take it away.

I decided that since most people think autistics are the RainMan (I wish), I might take some time to show you short examples of what auitsm is like at our house.

We had a bath last night, and after ward we were up in the computer room/play room. Charlie and I had a short conversation about what he wanted to watch on TV.

This is an example of a very full conversation with my 9 year old son.
Talking To Charlie

That's it. That's as informative and talkative as it gets. And this is REALLY good. It's calm, he's kind of happy.

But that's just it. Is it what you thought?

No. It isn't what I thought either.
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Crying Over A Stupid Fish

Five years ago sitting at the county fair, some teenagers came over, at the end of our night and asked if my kids wanted their fish. My head went NOOOOOOOOOO but looking at excited little faces well yeah we ended up with a fish tank containing two goldfish - at that time, John and Kathy.

John and Kathy died very quickly, and were replaced by John 2 (John 1 died right on Louis birthday omg) and Elvira. They started out as little stupid feeder goldfish in a ten gallon tank.

And they grew. And grew. And grew.

John got swim bladder disease, my husband fed him by hand for like two weeks until he healed.

We moved them to a big 37 gallon tank in our dining room so that they could have more room. Then they grew some more.

I had lots of fish growing up. I have very strict rules about them. You don't love fish. You don't WORRY about fish. Fish are just fish. They don't love you they don't care about you omg don't bother with them just flush them and be done with it.

Except that, we didn't. We took care of them, and every meal I'd look over and see these amazing creatures swimming with their beautiful, flowing fins. They would twirl around each other and nuzzle one another. We used to joke that they were mates. We also joked that we had their genders wrong. We're not actually sure one way or the other, because I have no idea how you sex a goldfish. But, it was obvious - they were together.

We added two plecos years ago, Snake Plisskin and Rico. They were the local enforcers. Poor Snake Plisskin got some horrible disease and died but we managed to get the tank healthy again.

Two nights ago my husband realized that the nitrites were too high in the big tank. After breakfast on Saturday he was going to go to the pet store, get plants, chemicals, do a big water change etc etc etc.

Apparently they had been too high for too long.  As we started to eat, Elvira started to drift. My husband said "She's not dead is she?" I looked over, and saw her gills moving slowly and said "Well...I don't think so..." and he took one look at her and darted out the door.

I pulled up a chair and as I watched her, thinking JUST HOLD ON ELVIRA OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING she just stopped. And drifted.

I would say at this point, I wouldn't much care, because FISH WHO CARES GET A NEW FISH. Right then though, John came over and nudged her. Then John nudged her again, and again. He swam away and came back, nudging her like "Get Up. Get UP!" And my heart broke and I started crying like a crazy woman, over a damn fish.

Because she had a mate and he was mourning her and he's just a damn fish and WHY IS HE MOURNING HER. I didn't even know they were capable of caring about each other.

We did an emergency tank transfer so we can clean out the big tank and start over. Ever try to catch fish the size of kittens without killing them? Not easy. My husband will attest to how horrible it is to try to hold onto a pleco with your hand.

I looked through all my pics this morning to find a pic of Elvira and I'm sad I only found one, she's the orange fish behind John who is white.

Rest in peace you stupid fish. I miss you already.
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Crying Over A Stupid Fish

Five years ago sitting at the county fair, some teenagers came over, at the end of our night and asked if my kids wanted their fish. My head went NOOOOOOOOOO but looking at excited little faces well yeah we ended up with a fish tank containing two goldfish - at that time, John and Kathy.

John and Kathy died very quickly, and were replaced by John 2 (John 1 died right on Louis birthday omg) and Elvira. They started out as little stupid feeder goldfish in a ten gallon tank.

And they grew. And grew. And grew.

John got swim bladder disease, my husband fed him by hand for like two weeks until he healed.

We moved them to a big 37 gallon tank in our dining room so that they could have more room. Then they grew some more.

I had lots of fish growing up. I have very strict rules about them. You don't love fish. You don't WORRY about fish. Fish are just fish. They don't love you they don't care about you omg don't bother with them just flush them and be done with it.

Except that, we didn't. We took care of them, and every meal I'd look over and see these amazing creatures swimming with their beautiful, flowing fins. They would twirl around each other and nuzzle one another. We used to joke that they were mates. We also joked that we had their genders wrong. We're not actually sure one way or the other, because I have no idea how you sex a goldfish. But, it was obvious - they were together.

We added two plecos years ago, Snake Plisskin and Rico. They were the local enforcers. Poor Snake Plisskin got some horrible disease and died but we managed to get the tank healthy again.

Two nights ago my husband realized that the nitrites were too high in the big tank. After breakfast on Saturday he was going to go to the pet store, get plants, chemicals, do a big water change etc etc etc.

Apparently they had been too high for too long.  As we started to eat, Elvira started to drift. My husband said "She's not dead is she?" I looked over, and saw her gills moving slowly and said "Well...I don't think so..." and he took one look at her and darted out the door.

I pulled up a chair and as I watched her, thinking JUST HOLD ON ELVIRA OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING she just stopped. And drifted.

I would say at this point, I wouldn't much care, because FISH WHO CARES GET A NEW FISH. Right then though, John came over and nudged her. Then John nudged her again, and again. He swam away and came back, nudging her like "Get Up. Get UP!" And my heart broke and I started crying like a crazy woman, over a damn fish.

Because she had a mate and he was mourning her and he's just a damn fish and WHY IS HE MOURNING HER. I didn't even know they were capable of caring about each other.

We did an emergency tank transfer so we can clean out the big tank and start over. Ever try to catch fish the size of kittens without killing them? Not easy. My husband will attest to how horrible it is to try to hold onto a pleco with your hand.

I looked through all my pics this morning to find a pic of Elvira and I'm sad I only found one, she's the orange fish behind John who is white.

Rest in peace you stupid fish. I miss you already.
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Snuggletime Roulette

I guess you officially call it attachment parenting. I don't even care. I kind of thumb my nose at the term and call it stupid hippie crap. Everyone parents differently. What works for me doesn't work for you, and so on. If attachment parenting includes the fact that I love to sleep with my kids then yeah, guilty as charged.

 

The challenge then becomes the logistics of four snugglers and one mother. 

The girl child has it easy. I'm not ashamed to admit she still sleeps with me. We go to bed together, and we read stories by the light on my iPhone, and make shadow puppets on the wall (mostly bunnies and dinosaurs RAWR). Eventually we settle down into ONE last drink, and some cudly kisses and we're asleep. If I don't move her shortly thereafter, her daddy moves her when he comes to bed. She usually returns some time in the 5 am hour. Toddles back to bed, taps me on the arm and says "mommysnuggle" which is all one word if you're doing it right.

Usually, like today, Miles shows up about 6 or 7am. He rests a hand on my arm if the girl is in his spot. I will move her to her toddler bed and then it's snuggling with Miles and Mommy. Usually though, unless it's VERY early, Miles is UP for the day. He indulges me in some cuddling and kisses, and then as I drift back to sleep he pulls a book out of nowhere and sits and reads. Sometimes he brings two or three books and piles them on me. I don't even care.

Charlie is the X Factor. Some mornings, he beats Miles to the snuggle spot. However Charlie can rarely be quiet, so he giggles and carries on until mom gets up. Or he comes in, once Miles is in the snuggling spot, and asks for drinnks of water, and hops around the room making various noises.Today I decided at 7:30 am that I wasn't getting more sleep and that coffee and writing were calling, so here I am. When I got up, Charlie spent a full 10 minutes on my lap hugging and cuddling like a little tiny boy. Have I mentioned that he is not a little tiny boy? He's giant.


It is my sweet Lou that gets the shortest stick in terms of cuddles these days. He admittedly spent the most number of years tucked under my right arm but most nights, I make him go to his own bed. Last night he wanted so badly to sleep with me and Julia. I made him a deal that he can sleep with us tomorrow and that appeased him. But I know as well as anyone else that he's at the age that he really doesn't need to be sleeping with me.

So I transitioned it as a treat, like a sleepover, fun and cuddles once in a while and most of the time he sleeps in his own bed.

People will say things like "You'll never get them out of your bed." Really? They gonna go off to college and come home to sleep in my bed every night?

I won't ever get these days of childhood back, nor will my children. I will never regret one night of elbows in my back or someones little head laying on mine like it's a pillow. When I die, if they only thing anyone ever has to say about me is that I gave my children years worth of cuddles, then I'm ok with that.

I will never apologize for our snuggletime roulette. It's one of the best things ever.

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Snuggletime Roulette

I guess you officially call it attachment parenting. I don't even care. I kind of thumb my nose at the term and call it stupid hippie crap. Everyone parents differently. What works for me doesn't work for you, and so on. If attachment parenting includes the fact that I love to sleep with my kids then yeah, guilty as charged.

 

The challenge then becomes the logistics of four snugglers and one mother. 

The girl child has it easy. I'm not ashamed to admit she still sleeps with me. We go to bed together, and we read stories by the light on my iPhone, and make shadow puppets on the wall (mostly bunnies and dinosaurs RAWR). Eventually we settle down into ONE last drink, and some cudly kisses and we're asleep. If I don't move her shortly thereafter, her daddy moves her when he comes to bed. She usually returns some time in the 5 am hour. Toddles back to bed, taps me on the arm and says "mommysnuggle" which is all one word if you're doing it right.

Usually, like today, Miles shows up about 6 or 7am. He rests a hand on my arm if the girl is in his spot. I will move her to her toddler bed and then it's snuggling with Miles and Mommy. Usually though, unless it's VERY early, Miles is UP for the day. He indulges me in some cuddling and kisses, and then as I drift back to sleep he pulls a book out of nowhere and sits and reads. Sometimes he brings two or three books and piles them on me. I don't even care.

Charlie is the X Factor. Some mornings, he beats Miles to the snuggle spot. However Charlie can rarely be quiet, so he giggles and carries on until mom gets up. Or he comes in, once Miles is in the snuggling spot, and asks for drinnks of water, and hops around the room making various noises.Today I decided at 7:30 am that I wasn't getting more sleep and that coffee and writing were calling, so here I am. When I got up, Charlie spent a full 10 minutes on my lap hugging and cuddling like a little tiny boy. Have I mentioned that he is not a little tiny boy? He's giant.


It is my sweet Lou that gets the shortest stick in terms of cuddles these days. He admittedly spent the most number of years tucked under my right arm but most nights, I make him go to his own bed. Last night he wanted so badly to sleep with me and Julia. I made him a deal that he can sleep with us tomorrow and that appeased him. But I know as well as anyone else that he's at the age that he really doesn't need to be sleeping with me.

So I transitioned it as a treat, like a sleepover, fun and cuddles once in a while and most of the time he sleeps in his own bed.

People will say things like "You'll never get them out of your bed." Really? They gonna go off to college and come home to sleep in my bed every night?

I won't ever get these days of childhood back, nor will my children. I will never regret one night of elbows in my back or someones little head laying on mine like it's a pillow. When I die, if they only thing anyone ever has to say about me is that I gave my children years worth of cuddles, then I'm ok with that.

I will never apologize for our snuggletime roulette. It's one of the best things ever.

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Double The Birthdays

My big twin boys turned nine this week. With their sister having a birthday just ten days earlier there was a lot of Chuck E Cheese and kid related fun to be be had two weekends in a row. Watching them turn nine was a little sad, because chronology doesn't not tell you anything about how mature they are. It's just how many years they've been alive. 

But despite a bit of motherly wistfulness, their birthday was greeted with kisses and excitement and joy. Birthdays are happy days. Even if they don't quite get WHAT a birthday is, they do understand that when we say it's birthdays there will be presents and cake.

They don't like cake but whatever.

One of the bus drivers drew the Minion card as a gift and there were books and gifts that made them both smile and giggle. Plus there were balloons. Who doesn't like balloons?

Sometimes exciting things happen, as we celebrate the three birthdays in April. They're things you might not even notice - but a little boy painting his name at the painting activity is a big deal at our house.

So Happy Birthday Miles and Charlie. I hope your day was special, and you always know that we love you. 

Even if you are never the age you actually are.

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Double The Birthdays

My big twin boys turned nine this week. With their sister having a birthday just ten days earlier there was a lot of Chuck E Cheese and kid related fun to be be had two weekends in a row. Watching them turn nine was a little sad, because chronology doesn't not tell you anything about how mature they are. It's just how many years they've been alive. 

But despite a bit of motherly wistfulness, their birthday was greeted with kisses and excitement and joy. Birthdays are happy days. Even if they don't quite get WHAT a birthday is, they do understand that when we say it's birthdays there will be presents and cake.

They don't like cake but whatever.

One of the bus drivers drew the Minion card as a gift and there were books and gifts that made them both smile and giggle. Plus there were balloons. Who doesn't like balloons?

Sometimes exciting things happen, as we celebrate the three birthdays in April. They're things you might not even notice - but a little boy painting his name at the painting activity is a big deal at our house.

So Happy Birthday Miles and Charlie. I hope your day was special, and you always know that we love you. 

Even if you are never the age you actually are.

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