So Much Valentine's So Much Love

So Valentine's Day has come and gone and we celebrated in our way, with a family day and lots of treats. The girl had her first ever Valentine's Party at school and was pretty much the most excited girl EVER to bring home her box of love notes to show us. Apparently it was a pretty amazing party.

I told my husband to choose the breakfast for our special day. I had originally thought PANCAKES but he really wanted some of my really eggy french toast. Alton Brown says I'm making it wrong but he and I are just gonna have to disagree on this one.

I would've made him anything he wanted, though. On the 13th you see, his mother died.

He's handling it better than I did but we are different people. It doesn't lessen the loss, regardless of how he handles it. But on Valentine's day I would've made him a souffle (well I would've tried)  or any other damn thing he wanted. What he mostly wanted was to sleep for a lot of the day, and I can support that wholeheartedly. I endeavored to make the day fun and keep the kids busy so that it was a day they would remember positively.

In the middle of making our french toast, Julia took one bite of a banana and declared herself full. It was really a perfect banana, and I didn't feel like eating at all and I hated to waste it. Internet to the rescue - I found a recipe for "ONE banana" banana bread and Miles set to work mixing while I finished the french toast.

I don't even like banana bread, but my husband does so I thought maybe this would be something full of love to eat today. Miles did a spectacular job mixing.

Pretty much after I got breakfast done I had to start working on lunch as I wasn't sure about it and it was an experiment. I saw these "pizza roses" all over the internet yesterday and I wanted to make them for fun for Valentine's day. So we cleaned up breakfast (I CLEANED UP) and got to work.

This was another activity for the kids and I to do together, the little people helped with putting on the pepperoni and smearing the sauce. Charlie mostly ate the pepperoni. If I said "hey don't eat the pepperoni we need it" he would reply "OH NO!"

Not really romantic date food but it was super fun kid lunch food. Julia said "We always make fun stuff together. I wonder if everyone does this?" That made me pretty happy.

We ended our night in our family tradition of cards, candy and presents. The girl got a new pony to love and pretty much was the most excited girl on the block.

My hubby got me a beautiful cameo and an IOU for the new waterproof fitbit when it comes out.

It's a weird thing to realize that you're the adults now. Even having a family, when you have that patriarchal/matriarchal presence, somehow you have that someone to defer to. You have someone to ask, someone to lean on. For both my husband and me, now, we are the someone.  We are unquestionably the adults in our own lives and families not just in our own house.

We spent our first Valentine's day as orphans together, surrounded by the family we made, and showered our children with love. We made silly treats, snuggled all six of us in a queen bed in the afternoon while my husband played music on his phone.

Onward, into the rest of our lives. I hope every day is as good as yesterday. It was pretty good.
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So Much Valentine's So Much Love

So Valentine's Day has come and gone and we celebrated in our way, with a family day and lots of treats. The girl had her first ever Valentine's Party at school and was pretty much the most excited girl EVER to bring home her box of love notes to show us. Apparently it was a pretty amazing party.

I told my husband to choose the breakfast for our special day. I had originally thought PANCAKES but he really wanted some of my really eggy french toast. Alton Brown says I'm making it wrong but he and I are just gonna have to disagree on this one.

I would've made him anything he wanted, though. On the 13th you see, his mother died.

He's handling it better than I did but we are different people. It doesn't lessen the loss, regardless of how he handles it. But on Valentine's day I would've made him a souffle (well I would've tried)  or any other damn thing he wanted. What he mostly wanted was to sleep for a lot of the day, and I can support that wholeheartedly. I endeavored to make the day fun and keep the kids busy so that it was a day they would remember positively.

In the middle of making our french toast, Julia took one bite of a banana and declared herself full. It was really a perfect banana, and I didn't feel like eating at all and I hated to waste it. Internet to the rescue - I found a recipe for "ONE banana" banana bread and Miles set to work mixing while I finished the french toast.

I don't even like banana bread, but my husband does so I thought maybe this would be something full of love to eat today. Miles did a spectacular job mixing.

Pretty much after I got breakfast done I had to start working on lunch as I wasn't sure about it and it was an experiment. I saw these "pizza roses" all over the internet yesterday and I wanted to make them for fun for Valentine's day. So we cleaned up breakfast (I CLEANED UP) and got to work.

This was another activity for the kids and I to do together, the little people helped with putting on the pepperoni and smearing the sauce. Charlie mostly ate the pepperoni. If I said "hey don't eat the pepperoni we need it" he would reply "OH NO!"

Not really romantic date food but it was super fun kid lunch food. Julia said "We always make fun stuff together. I wonder if everyone does this?" That made me pretty happy.

We ended our night in our family tradition of cards, candy and presents. The girl got a new pony to love and pretty much was the most excited girl on the block.

My hubby got me a beautiful cameo and an IOU for the new waterproof fitbit when it comes out.

It's a weird thing to realize that you're the adults now. Even having a family, when you have that patriarchal/matriarchal presence, somehow you have that someone to defer to. You have someone to ask, someone to lean on. For both my husband and me, now, we are the someone.  We are unquestionably the adults in our own lives and families not just in our own house.

We spent our first Valentine's day as orphans together, surrounded by the family we made, and showered our children with love. We made silly treats, snuggled all six of us in a queen bed in the afternoon while my husband played music on his phone.

Onward, into the rest of our lives. I hope every day is as good as yesterday. It was pretty good.
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The Valentine's Party

When I was about 8 years old my parents lost all their money. That was the way I understood it. I know it was more complicated than that now. There as matter of my grandmother not being willing to help them out with remodeling bills on our old house that my grandfather (now dead) had said not to worry about. There were too many bills and not enough money. Because of that we had to sell our pretty little house that so much work had gone into and move into what was forever known as THE GREY HOUSE.

The grey house had wooden floors and big double doors into most rooms. It had two fireplaces with beautiful mantles and tilework. It also had no insulation. We learned that the first winter. It was a house we rented from my grandmother. The train ran through our backyard (literally, seen above) and if you wonder why my brother loves the railroad just remember that the rumbling of a freight train was the womb music he grew to. The window panes shook, dishes would shake off the counter and break, when the train went by.

Still, it was a great adventure moving to a new house. I got a new room, and it was even bigger than my old room. I changed schools and I was so excited because I got to go to school with some of the girls I had gone to preschool with. There was a set of twins, Amy and Laurie, I was especially excited about being in school with again. I always thought that they were so pretty and I was entranced by the idea of twins. They were identical twins, and I guess when you are 8 that makes it even more exciting.

It was only after a few months of living there that I realized that things were different for me at this school. There had been a sleepover party, I learned one Monday. I don't even really remember being upset or thinking I should have been invited. But I remember when the girls realized I was listening. Amy said "I'm sorry we didn't invite you. Our Mom says you are poor now and you probably couldn't afford to buy us presents."

The other kids didn't laugh to their credit. In fact they just sort of stared and the subject was changed. I went home and cried and asked my mom if we were poor now. I didn't understand what had changed? We just moved to a new house. Why did that make us poor? I told her what Amy had said, and that Amy and Laurie had a birthday slumber party and they didn't invite me because I was poor. She held me while I cried and then she told me I should go play or listen to records.

Eventually I smelled something like vanilla baking. I went into the kitchen and my mom was cutting a round cake and making a heart. It was kind of like this.

She asked me if I thought it looked like a heart and of course I did so she told me to make some icing and we'd have some cake. While I frosted it she said "I think we should have a Valentine's day party. What do you think?"  

I thought this was the craziest idea I had ever heard, no one ever had a Valentine's party at their house. But mom started looking up different kinds of punch we could make, and talking about treats she could make and before long we were making a party list. She said I could invite as many girls over for this party as I wanted.

She made games, she bought prizes. She set up the stereo so we could play records and decorated my dining room in swaths of pink ribbon and hearts hanging from the ceiling. It looked a little bit like a high school prom, in fact. When the girls came over there were fancy cups from my grandmas for punch, there was heart cake and it was this amazing event that was unlike any party I ever had before or after. I remember there was so much laughter, and everyone was so excited at winning the prizes mom had gotten for the games. She even made little gift bags for party favors to take home.

I had invited every girl in my class, including Amy and Laurie. It never occurred to me until I was driving home today, remembering this amazing party, that my mom threw that party so that the other kids wouldn't think I was poor. She never said anything about it, except that she thought we should have a Valentine's party. At the time I thought it was because she'd figured out how to make a heart cake.

Such is the mind of an 8 year old. 

We didn't have a lot of money. 

But I was never, EVER poor. Not in the way that mattered, anyway.

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The Valentine's Party

When I was about 8 years old my parents lost all their money. That was the way I understood it. I know it was more complicated than that now. There as matter of my grandmother not being willing to help them out with remodeling bills on our old house that my grandfather (now dead) had said not to worry about. There were too many bills and not enough money. Because of that we had to sell our pretty little house that so much work had gone into and move into what was forever known as THE GREY HOUSE.

The grey house had wooden floors and big double doors into most rooms. It had two fireplaces with beautiful mantles and tilework. It also had no insulation. We learned that the first winter. It was a house we rented from my grandmother. The train ran through our backyard (literally, seen above) and if you wonder why my brother loves the railroad just remember that the rumbling of a freight train was the womb music he grew to. The window panes shook, dishes would shake off the counter and break, when the train went by.

Still, it was a great adventure moving to a new house. I got a new room, and it was even bigger than my old room. I changed schools and I was so excited because I got to go to school with some of the girls I had gone to preschool with. There was a set of twins, Amy and Laurie, I was especially excited about being in school with again. I always thought that they were so pretty and I was entranced by the idea of twins. They were identical twins, and I guess when you are 8 that makes it even more exciting.

It was only after a few months of living there that I realized that things were different for me at this school. There had been a sleepover party, I learned one Monday. I don't even really remember being upset or thinking I should have been invited. But I remember when the girls realized I was listening. Amy said "I'm sorry we didn't invite you. Our Mom says you are poor now and you probably couldn't afford to buy us presents."

The other kids didn't laugh to their credit. In fact they just sort of stared and the subject was changed. I went home and cried and asked my mom if we were poor now. I didn't understand what had changed? We just moved to a new house. Why did that make us poor? I told her what Amy had said, and that Amy and Laurie had a birthday slumber party and they didn't invite me because I was poor. She held me while I cried and then she told me I should go play or listen to records.

Eventually I smelled something like vanilla baking. I went into the kitchen and my mom was cutting a round cake and making a heart. It was kind of like this.

She asked me if I thought it looked like a heart and of course I did so she told me to make some icing and we'd have some cake. While I frosted it she said "I think we should have a Valentine's day party. What do you think?"  

I thought this was the craziest idea I had ever heard, no one ever had a Valentine's party at their house. But mom started looking up different kinds of punch we could make, and talking about treats she could make and before long we were making a party list. She said I could invite as many girls over for this party as I wanted.

She made games, she bought prizes. She set up the stereo so we could play records and decorated my dining room in swaths of pink ribbon and hearts hanging from the ceiling. It looked a little bit like a high school prom, in fact. When the girls came over there were fancy cups from my grandmas for punch, there was heart cake and it was this amazing event that was unlike any party I ever had before or after. I remember there was so much laughter, and everyone was so excited at winning the prizes mom had gotten for the games. She even made little gift bags for party favors to take home.

I had invited every girl in my class, including Amy and Laurie. It never occurred to me until I was driving home today, remembering this amazing party, that my mom threw that party so that the other kids wouldn't think I was poor. She never said anything about it, except that she thought we should have a Valentine's party. At the time I thought it was because she'd figured out how to make a heart cake.

Such is the mind of an 8 year old. 

We didn't have a lot of money. 

But I was never, EVER poor. Not in the way that mattered, anyway.

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My Valentine's Date

My husband told me that because of how hectic our life is, and how it's so hard to really get a babysitter with two special little guys, that he was going to have to ask me to go out to celebrate Valentine's day with another guy. He said it was his best guy, a special guy that he knew would take good care of me and even better, we'd have a great date.
It turns out, my date was indeed his best guy, my oldest son Lou. We spent our date day at Stone Mountain, both on the summit and on the slopes, tubing to his hearts content.

It turns out that snow tubing is about as much fun as two humans can have. I had never done it, and it's been so long since I went sledding it's a very distant memory. I am pretty sure I was the one screeching EEEEEE all the way to the bottom of the hill.

At the bottom of the hill is a snow play area, where we built a proper snowman, and where we finally did one of his ideas he's wanted to do for years - SNOW FORT!

We wandered around the village and saw the 4D movie, but were disappointed that so man of the little shops were closed. It was kind of a slow day but still, I wish everything had been open.

I have to admit, it was probably one of the better Valentine's dates I ever got to have.

I think I'll keep him.
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My Valentine's Date

My husband told me that because of how hectic our life is, and how it's so hard to really get a babysitter with two special little guys, that he was going to have to ask me to go out to celebrate Valentine's day with another guy. He said it was his best guy, a special guy that he knew would take good care of me and even better, we'd have a great date.
It turns out, my date was indeed his best guy, my oldest son Lou. We spent our date day at Stone Mountain, both on the summit and on the slopes, tubing to his hearts content.

It turns out that snow tubing is about as much fun as two humans can have. I had never done it, and it's been so long since I went sledding it's a very distant memory. I am pretty sure I was the one screeching EEEEEE all the way to the bottom of the hill.

At the bottom of the hill is a snow play area, where we built a proper snowman, and where we finally did one of his ideas he's wanted to do for years - SNOW FORT!

We wandered around the village and saw the 4D movie, but were disappointed that so man of the little shops were closed. It was kind of a slow day but still, I wish everything had been open.

I have to admit, it was probably one of the better Valentine's dates I ever got to have.

I think I'll keep him.
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Why Valentine's Day Isn't Just For Lovers

I always get kind of miffed at Valentine's Day because of the detractors, the #FOREVERALONE people who can't seem to see that love isn't just romantic. Love is familial, and platonic and everything in degrees from that gentle feeling of caring for someone to full blown love romance. Valentine's Day can be what you make it.

Why would you ever choose to MAKE a day something negative?

At our house, it's a day to remember to celebrate how much we love each other. We give candy and small snuggly gifts (and sometimes Mommy gets a pretty piece of jewelry but sometimes not) and we take a day just to say, we are a family and we love each other.

It's a reminder to celebrate the fact that you do in fact have people in your life that you love.

After we open our presents, and maybe have a piece of chocolate or two or four or six, we always like to head out for a dinner to celebrate who we are as a family. There's really only ever one place that will do.

Where else can we play skeeball and eat pizza and shoot zombies and dance with Chucki E ? Really, this is the spot.

So next year, when it's Valentine's day, if you're lamenting that you don't have that perfect romantic evening, remember this. Love is what you make it. It might be an evening of video games at Chuck E Cheese. Or a night out with your other single friends. Or bowling. Or trying a new tapas restaurant. Valentine's Day can be anything you want it to be.

I wouldn't have mine any other way. Because, in the end...love the you take is equal to the love you make.

John and Paul were always right about that you know.
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Why Valentine's Day Isn't Just For Lovers

I always get kind of miffed at Valentine's Day because of the detractors, the #FOREVERALONE people who can't seem to see that love isn't just romantic. Love is familial, and platonic and everything in degrees from that gentle feeling of caring for someone to full blown love romance. Valentine's Day can be what you make it.

Why would you ever choose to MAKE a day something negative?

At our house, it's a day to remember to celebrate how much we love each other. We give candy and small snuggly gifts (and sometimes Mommy gets a pretty piece of jewelry but sometimes not) and we take a day just to say, we are a family and we love each other.

It's a reminder to celebrate the fact that you do in fact have people in your life that you love.

After we open our presents, and maybe have a piece of chocolate or two or four or six, we always like to head out for a dinner to celebrate who we are as a family. There's really only ever one place that will do.

Where else can we play skeeball and eat pizza and shoot zombies and dance with Chucki E ? Really, this is the spot.

So next year, when it's Valentine's day, if you're lamenting that you don't have that perfect romantic evening, remember this. Love is what you make it. It might be an evening of video games at Chuck E Cheese. Or a night out with your other single friends. Or bowling. Or trying a new tapas restaurant. Valentine's Day can be anything you want it to be.

I wouldn't have mine any other way. Because, in the end...love the you take is equal to the love you make.

John and Paul were always right about that you know.
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