If You're Going To Hang Out With Us...

There are things you're going to have to know if you're going to hang out with us. The first one would be something like "We Live In A Rainbow of Chaos" which I believe Cezanne said. It's not always good, it's seldom timely, and truly it's messy in a way it's difficult to properly explain.

Consequently, I'm pretty sure that if you're reading this you haven't ever been to my house and you probably haven't ever hung out with us. Most of the reasons for that are on us - truly, we're trying to spare you. Maybe we like to pretend we have it so much more together so I can present you with the HEY LOOK HOW AWESOME WE HANDLE OUR SHIT moments here. Probably not. I promise you, those who have hung out with us can attest to us as a group being at the least tardy and probably a show that's hard to handle.

It's just how we roll.

My oldest son has a best friend, however, who doesn't really ever spend time with us. We love the kid, but we don't want Louis to be embarrassed about how things go down around here so we mostly sanction him going with his friend to THEIR place. It gives Louis a great opportunity to GET AWAY from crazy life and we hope keeps him from being embarrassed at the age of 13 by his 12 year old brothers who hump pillows in the living room  and poop their pants.

That's the the harsh reality of the doin's at our house.

We decided that maybe it was time to change this over the weekend. It was county fair time, everyone's favorite, and so we'd invite his friend and the boys could spend a "little" time with us and then go off together. Hanging out at the county fair as a teen seems like a right of passage, so we felt it was time we gave this a try.

As always we ended up with a late start, but the fair goes until Midnight or some nonsense so who even cares? Deep fried foods await, in the cool evening breeze they'd be even better. We'd warned his friend we'd leave between 3-5 and we finally kicked off at the later end of that interval.

On our way the first harbinger of doom showed up. The air conditioning wasn't blowing "cold" unless the car was going pretty fast, as soon as we slowed down it'd start blowing warm. We'd just HAD this issue and had to have work done. As we headed into fair traffic the temperature gauge on the car went up, up UP. We got lucky and were at a left turn and as the noxious smell began to infiltrate the car we not only turned left but pulled right into an AUTOZONE.

In the backseat Julia has been accosting B (the friend) nonstop with tales of every toy she's brought with her in her survival backpack. There's a boy in the car, there's someone in the car who hasn't heard EVERY SINGLE STORY she knows so he's getting an earful. The boys had been exchanging teenage eyerolls in silence and gesturing to theirs phones surreptitiously but now that we're stopped Louis has gotten out to help his dad and B is alone, victimized by a 6 year old talking machine.

It's decided we blew a fuse so a package of fuses is obtained. Apparently the fuses are in a wonky place and the husband obtains some pink polka dot gardening gloves of mine from the trunk and sets to work.

About this time Julia shrieks. "MILES TOOK A TOOTH OUT OF HIS MOUTH! THERE IS BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!"

B looks at me in shock as I casually open my door and get into the back of the van with a handful of ever present napkins. We stock napkins like the pilgrims stocked bibles. Miles hands me the tooth and says "Toof mouf - he goes aaaaaaaaa" and shows me. Blood is running down his chin, so I wipe him off and show him how to press the napkin into the socket. I examine the tooth, guessing a 12 year old molar (which we think has been causing him behavior issues recently). He decides it's fun to soak napkins with blood and throw them up front. B stares at me in silence, unsure what to think pretty obviously.

About then Charlie puts Julia in a bear-hug headlock and she screams. Once again I have to get up, get out, get in back and this time move Charlie up to sit next to B. Charlie proceeds to poke the bottom of B's shoe repeatedly saying "Shoe. Shoe. Shoe."

The fuse is dropped, the fuse is lost. A smaller fuse is tried. It blows as soon as we drive around the parking lot. The car begins to overheat again and poison again fills our world from the stink of the car.

Did I mention it's hot? I go inside and buy 7 waters and every chugs in the high 80 degree heat, miserable now having sat in this car almost an hour. It's sweltering, Charlie is poking B's shoe, Julia is chatting nonstop about toys and suddenly the hood closes -the FUSE is replaced. Except now it's OVER an hour later and will take us a long time to get into the fair in the fair traffic and OH HELL SCREW IT.

We let the boys decide where we would go to dinner, and that we'd call a birthday dinner for Lou.

This is the part of the story where you learn that even when things go completely sideways with us, hanging out with us can still be pretty fun. The boys chose SHOGUN which is one of my favorite restaurants and with the orders that they could have anything they wanted they were some pretty happy 13 year olds.

They started with some drink that you have to knock a marble or something down into so that the carbonation activates or SOMETHING. I don't know, but they were intensely happy about it.

Then they got to order fillet and scallops so really, I'm pretty sure they didn't miss those deep fried foods on a stick AT ALL.

Miles amazed us by being into the miso soup immediately, we suspect he'd been here with school. Lucky kid gets to go to SHOGUN with school.

Julia was hilarious, she didn't realize that there would be FIRE at the table and so wasn't prepared when the first big blast took place. She solved her issue however and truly enjoyed the rest of the show.

We'd always feared taking the twins there, we weren't quite sure HOW it would go however it went so well we know now it's a place we can go. Julia has asked if we can go there for her birthday. Heck yes we can.

The lesson here is - our lives are crazy. We truly have some nutty things happen in such a regular way that I think we try to save most folks from them. But maybe we're wrong about that. Maybe you'd like coming over and hanging out.

Even when everything goes wrong for us, somehow it ends up pretty good.

Super Lucky Cat knows.

If You're Going To Hang Out With Us...

There are things you're going to have to know if you're going to hang out with us. The first one would be something like "We Live In A Rainbow of Chaos" which I believe Cezanne said. It's not always good, it's seldom timely, and truly it's messy in a way it's difficult to properly explain.

Consequently, I'm pretty sure that if you're reading this you haven't ever been to my house and you probably haven't ever hung out with us. Most of the reasons for that are on us - truly, we're trying to spare you. Maybe we like to pretend we have it so much more together so I can present you with the HEY LOOK HOW AWESOME WE HANDLE OUR SHIT moments here. Probably not. I promise you, those who have hung out with us can attest to us as a group being at the least tardy and probably a show that's hard to handle.

It's just how we roll.

My oldest son has a best friend, however, who doesn't really ever spend time with us. We love the kid, but we don't want Louis to be embarrassed about how things go down around here so we mostly sanction him going with his friend to THEIR place. It gives Louis a great opportunity to GET AWAY from crazy life and we hope keeps him from being embarrassed at the age of 13 by his 12 year old brothers who hump pillows in the living room  and poop their pants.

That's the the harsh reality of the doin's at our house.

We decided that maybe it was time to change this over the weekend. It was county fair time, everyone's favorite, and so we'd invite his friend and the boys could spend a "little" time with us and then go off together. Hanging out at the county fair as a teen seems like a right of passage, so we felt it was time we gave this a try.

As always we ended up with a late start, but the fair goes until Midnight or some nonsense so who even cares? Deep fried foods await, in the cool evening breeze they'd be even better. We'd warned his friend we'd leave between 3-5 and we finally kicked off at the later end of that interval.

On our way the first harbinger of doom showed up. The air conditioning wasn't blowing "cold" unless the car was going pretty fast, as soon as we slowed down it'd start blowing warm. We'd just HAD this issue and had to have work done. As we headed into fair traffic the temperature gauge on the car went up, up UP. We got lucky and were at a left turn and as the noxious smell began to infiltrate the car we not only turned left but pulled right into an AUTOZONE.

In the backseat Julia has been accosting B (the friend) nonstop with tales of every toy she's brought with her in her survival backpack. There's a boy in the car, there's someone in the car who hasn't heard EVERY SINGLE STORY she knows so he's getting an earful. The boys had been exchanging teenage eyerolls in silence and gesturing to theirs phones surreptitiously but now that we're stopped Louis has gotten out to help his dad and B is alone, victimized by a 6 year old talking machine.

It's decided we blew a fuse so a package of fuses is obtained. Apparently the fuses are in a wonky place and the husband obtains some pink polka dot gardening gloves of mine from the trunk and sets to work.

About this time Julia shrieks. "MILES TOOK A TOOTH OUT OF HIS MOUTH! THERE IS BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!"

B looks at me in shock as I casually open my door and get into the back of the van with a handful of ever present napkins. We stock napkins like the pilgrims stocked bibles. Miles hands me the tooth and says "Toof mouf - he goes aaaaaaaaa" and shows me. Blood is running down his chin, so I wipe him off and show him how to press the napkin into the socket. I examine the tooth, guessing a 12 year old molar (which we think has been causing him behavior issues recently). He decides it's fun to soak napkins with blood and throw them up front. B stares at me in silence, unsure what to think pretty obviously.

About then Charlie puts Julia in a bear-hug headlock and she screams. Once again I have to get up, get out, get in back and this time move Charlie up to sit next to B. Charlie proceeds to poke the bottom of B's shoe repeatedly saying "Shoe. Shoe. Shoe."

The fuse is dropped, the fuse is lost. A smaller fuse is tried. It blows as soon as we drive around the parking lot. The car begins to overheat again and poison again fills our world from the stink of the car.

Did I mention it's hot? I go inside and buy 7 waters and every chugs in the high 80 degree heat, miserable now having sat in this car almost an hour. It's sweltering, Charlie is poking B's shoe, Julia is chatting nonstop about toys and suddenly the hood closes -the FUSE is replaced. Except now it's OVER an hour later and will take us a long time to get into the fair in the fair traffic and OH HELL SCREW IT.

We let the boys decide where we would go to dinner, and that we'd call a birthday dinner for Lou.

This is the part of the story where you learn that even when things go completely sideways with us, hanging out with us can still be pretty fun. The boys chose SHOGUN which is one of my favorite restaurants and with the orders that they could have anything they wanted they were some pretty happy 13 year olds.

They started with some drink that you have to knock a marble or something down into so that the carbonation activates or SOMETHING. I don't know, but they were intensely happy about it.

Then they got to order fillet and scallops so really, I'm pretty sure they didn't miss those deep fried foods on a stick AT ALL.

Miles amazed us by being into the miso soup immediately, we suspect he'd been here with school. Lucky kid gets to go to SHOGUN with school.

Julia was hilarious, she didn't realize that there would be FIRE at the table and so wasn't prepared when the first big blast took place. She solved her issue however and truly enjoyed the rest of the show.

We'd always feared taking the twins there, we weren't quite sure HOW it would go however it went so well we know now it's a place we can go. Julia has asked if we can go there for her birthday. Heck yes we can.

The lesson here is - our lives are crazy. We truly have some nutty things happen in such a regular way that I think we try to save most folks from them. But maybe we're wrong about that. Maybe you'd like coming over and hanging out.

Even when everything goes wrong for us, somehow it ends up pretty good.

Super Lucky Cat knows.

No Surprise No Mystery

We had planned our annual trek to the fair and decided to go back to the fair that is closest to us because traditionally they've always had the superior selection of FAIR FOOD. My friend Christa had told me tales of a bacon wrapped corn dog but that wasn't to be found here. What WAS to be found....was PULLED PORK AND STEAK SUNDAES. That's right.

French fries, sour cream, bbq sauce, cheese and meat - not the most traditional sundae but honestly super yummy.

Corn is always required. It's not exotic. But roasted fair corn is always awesome. 

The down side was that it had rained like mad the entire previous day and was sprinkling and misting THIS day so under our feet are inches of mud and water, and red Georgia clay is everywhere in muddy sloggy messiness.

Despite that, the fair must go on. So we ate our muddy lunch and made our way to the midway for some rides! 

It was just too wet to do too much. But we did a few things and it was awesome. Julia got a pink Scooby Doo (why...) and the lady running that game realized Charlie and Miles were autistic and gave them a prize just for playing.

Yes - a giant red ball. We pushed it around in our stroller all day like this. 

We got wetter and wetter as they day went on. Shoes got more covered in clay and soggier. It was pretty gross.

We wandered in to the mildly soggy 4H tent to pretend to milk cows and pet the baby animals. Everyone's favorite part of this tent, besides the animals, is that they give us milk from the Mayfied Dairy at the end. This day was no different - ice cold chocolate milk is yummy any day.

The harvest was good it seems, we wandered the tables reviewing the entries and the winners. I have to say that my favorite items this year weren't in the food section. First up - baby Cthulu made an appearance.

Come ON - third place for the devourer of worlds? That's just lame.

Then, we have this very intimate moment with SUPERMAN and BATMAN...

Look closely - you'll see what I mean. We all stopped at this and went, hey, what's happening here?

As always the people who want to tell you about DOOOOOM were at the fair. 

I think based on their own DOGMA there better be nothing under those doors. I always want to talk to these people but I'm afraid I'll get annoyed and set them on fire.

End of night we tried Oreo Churros, potato twist things (the earlier treat in a different shape nearly), cheesecake on a stick and the girl just wanted some ice cream. 

It was a soggy, muddy, mostly miserable day but somehow we had a really fun day. It was a good day full of distraction for us all but I think mostly for me. I need more days like that.

Now I need to stop eating everything in site or I'm going to get big like Jabba again.

No Surprise No Mystery

We had planned our annual trek to the fair and decided to go back to the fair that is closest to us because traditionally they've always had the superior selection of FAIR FOOD. My friend Christa had told me tales of a bacon wrapped corn dog but that wasn't to be found here. What WAS to be found....was PULLED PORK AND STEAK SUNDAES. That's right.

French fries, sour cream, bbq sauce, cheese and meat - not the most traditional sundae but honestly super yummy.

Corn is always required. It's not exotic. But roasted fair corn is always awesome. 

The down side was that it had rained like mad the entire previous day and was sprinkling and misting THIS day so under our feet are inches of mud and water, and red Georgia clay is everywhere in muddy sloggy messiness.

Despite that, the fair must go on. So we ate our muddy lunch and made our way to the midway for some rides! 

It was just too wet to do too much. But we did a few things and it was awesome. Julia got a pink Scooby Doo (why...) and the lady running that game realized Charlie and Miles were autistic and gave them a prize just for playing.

Yes - a giant red ball. We pushed it around in our stroller all day like this. 

We got wetter and wetter as they day went on. Shoes got more covered in clay and soggier. It was pretty gross.

We wandered in to the mildly soggy 4H tent to pretend to milk cows and pet the baby animals. Everyone's favorite part of this tent, besides the animals, is that they give us milk from the Mayfied Dairy at the end. This day was no different - ice cold chocolate milk is yummy any day.

The harvest was good it seems, we wandered the tables reviewing the entries and the winners. I have to say that my favorite items this year weren't in the food section. First up - baby Cthulu made an appearance.

Come ON - third place for the devourer of worlds? That's just lame.

Then, we have this very intimate moment with SUPERMAN and BATMAN...

Look closely - you'll see what I mean. We all stopped at this and went, hey, what's happening here?

As always the people who want to tell you about DOOOOOM were at the fair. 

I think based on their own DOGMA there better be nothing under those doors. I always want to talk to these people but I'm afraid I'll get annoyed and set them on fire.

End of night we tried Oreo Churros, potato twist things (the earlier treat in a different shape nearly), cheesecake on a stick and the girl just wanted some ice cream. 

It was a soggy, muddy, mostly miserable day but somehow we had a really fun day. It was a good day full of distraction for us all but I think mostly for me. I need more days like that.

Now I need to stop eating everything in site or I'm going to get big like Jabba again.

It's So Fluffy I Can't Stand It !

When we walked into the fair, it was one of the first things she spied, THE UNICORN FROM DESPICABLE ME. And there were minions. "It's a MINIONS PLACE " she declared. "Daddy," she announced,"Is going to win me that unicorn." And obviously, there was no way that it was NOT going to happen.

It was a trip to the fair (an annual event - so annual that today my timehop is that we went to the same fair LAST year) that was a little different all around this year. To start with when we pulled up, the girl began to squeal from the back seat "THIS PLACE ! WE CAME BACK TO THIS PLACE OH YAY!" and was so excited, she instantly knew what we were here today, even if she didn't know the word FAIR.

Another big change for us is that Miles is in the MIDDLE of potty training. In the middle in terms of, is not really potty trained but is working on it. But not enough for us to be comfortable in public in underpants, so we put him in a pull up. By nightfall we realized, we're being jerks about this and we are going to have to go to the next step as he was HATING the pull up.

He rode some different big boy rides this time with Louis, and while he had his moments of being the unruly kid he can be, his biggest frustration was the pullup. So we're going to figure out how to do this, knowing we're going to have accidents. Potty training with a kid you can't have conversations with is a challenge.

The food was just OK this year. Louis got a hotdog made of alligator, I guess that's exotic (ok really eating alligator down here really isn't exotic) but it was different. The food wasn't bad, it was just "eh".  My BBQ wasn't from the same big award winning BBQ trailer as last year and it showed. It wasn't bad, just kind of super average. I guess if you never had BBQ you'd think it was good maybe?

One of the biggest events at the fair, a milestone crossed, I don't have a picture of, and that was Charlie riding his FIRST big boy ride. Charlie isn't a HUGE fan of rides, and has been left out more than a bit the last couple of years. Too big for the baby rides (which he likes) and too immature for the big ones plus he doesn't like many of them - Charlie isn't a thrill seeker - it's been frustrating/sad as a parent seeing him standing at the side watching his siblings ride, even when it's a ride he won't like.

We took him on the boat which he liked, and that wasn't new. But what we did take him on that he went nuts and LOVED was the big Bavarian Curve thing. Blasting music, DJ barking nonsense, and riding around at breakneck speed - who knew that Charlie would put his arms in the air and yell WHEEEEEE as it went? Well he did. He LOVED IT. Noted, Charlie LOVES the thing.

We decided that next year we are going to a different fair, as this one while nice, is lacking in the crazy DEEP FRIED FOODS ON STICKS we love so much. I want to eat your crazy thing deep fried on a stick. BRING ME YOUR WEIRD FOODS, I will eat them on a stick with glee. It's more traditional and while nice, maybe good to rotate in every couple of years for variety, it's just not as wacky as we're looking for. Plus it lacks all the 4H competition stuff and we like that stuff.

It does have a nice animal interaction area. We were glad Miles enjoyed the goats, lately he has some animal fears, and he went right up to the goat and pet it - he seemed to like it a lot. However, the bunnies were RIGHT OUT as were the chickens. That's ok, the goat was a victory in that regard.

I have not gotten a candy apple in years, because I thought my teeth wouldn't like it - they aren't as good as they should be. But I've got two new crowns and decided to put them to the test. Oh man, it was as good as I remembered. Louis shared with me and he apparently had never had one or didn't remember the crunch cinnamon apple awesome of them. It was delicious.

So the fair had milestones, Miles just needs to wear underpants, and Charlie has ventured into big boy rides. And unicorns will be yours, if you tell the universe that Daddy is going to win one.

As we drifted off to sleep, she put the unicorn on the table beside her and said "I'm going to have magical dreams because the unicorn is next to me."

I bet she did.
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It's So Fluffy I Can't Stand It !

When we walked into the fair, it was one of the first things she spied, THE UNICORN FROM DESPICABLE ME. And there were minions. "It's a MINIONS PLACE " she declared. "Daddy," she announced,"Is going to win me that unicorn." And obviously, there was no way that it was NOT going to happen.

It was a trip to the fair (an annual event - so annual that today my timehop is that we went to the same fair LAST year) that was a little different all around this year. To start with when we pulled up, the girl began to squeal from the back seat "THIS PLACE ! WE CAME BACK TO THIS PLACE OH YAY!" and was so excited, she instantly knew what we were here today, even if she didn't know the word FAIR.

Another big change for us is that Miles is in the MIDDLE of potty training. In the middle in terms of, is not really potty trained but is working on it. But not enough for us to be comfortable in public in underpants, so we put him in a pull up. By nightfall we realized, we're being jerks about this and we are going to have to go to the next step as he was HATING the pull up.

He rode some different big boy rides this time with Louis, and while he had his moments of being the unruly kid he can be, his biggest frustration was the pullup. So we're going to figure out how to do this, knowing we're going to have accidents. Potty training with a kid you can't have conversations with is a challenge.

The food was just OK this year. Louis got a hotdog made of alligator, I guess that's exotic (ok really eating alligator down here really isn't exotic) but it was different. The food wasn't bad, it was just "eh".  My BBQ wasn't from the same big award winning BBQ trailer as last year and it showed. It wasn't bad, just kind of super average. I guess if you never had BBQ you'd think it was good maybe?

One of the biggest events at the fair, a milestone crossed, I don't have a picture of, and that was Charlie riding his FIRST big boy ride. Charlie isn't a HUGE fan of rides, and has been left out more than a bit the last couple of years. Too big for the baby rides (which he likes) and too immature for the big ones plus he doesn't like many of them - Charlie isn't a thrill seeker - it's been frustrating/sad as a parent seeing him standing at the side watching his siblings ride, even when it's a ride he won't like.

We took him on the boat which he liked, and that wasn't new. But what we did take him on that he went nuts and LOVED was the big Bavarian Curve thing. Blasting music, DJ barking nonsense, and riding around at breakneck speed - who knew that Charlie would put his arms in the air and yell WHEEEEEE as it went? Well he did. He LOVED IT. Noted, Charlie LOVES the thing.

We decided that next year we are going to a different fair, as this one while nice, is lacking in the crazy DEEP FRIED FOODS ON STICKS we love so much. I want to eat your crazy thing deep fried on a stick. BRING ME YOUR WEIRD FOODS, I will eat them on a stick with glee. It's more traditional and while nice, maybe good to rotate in every couple of years for variety, it's just not as wacky as we're looking for. Plus it lacks all the 4H competition stuff and we like that stuff.

It does have a nice animal interaction area. We were glad Miles enjoyed the goats, lately he has some animal fears, and he went right up to the goat and pet it - he seemed to like it a lot. However, the bunnies were RIGHT OUT as were the chickens. That's ok, the goat was a victory in that regard.

I have not gotten a candy apple in years, because I thought my teeth wouldn't like it - they aren't as good as they should be. But I've got two new crowns and decided to put them to the test. Oh man, it was as good as I remembered. Louis shared with me and he apparently had never had one or didn't remember the crunch cinnamon apple awesome of them. It was delicious.

So the fair had milestones, Miles just needs to wear underpants, and Charlie has ventured into big boy rides. And unicorns will be yours, if you tell the universe that Daddy is going to win one.

As we drifted off to sleep, she put the unicorn on the table beside her and said "I'm going to have magical dreams because the unicorn is next to me."

I bet she did.
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