October Birchbox is Goopy

So this month for my Birchbox I had a choice, a GOOP Birchbox or a regular Birchbox.

I chose a GOOP Birchbox because, hey. Goop.

I don't actually know that GOOP is. I looked at their website and from what I can tell, without subscribing, you sign up and they tell you what is cool. I think this is awesome because, I have to accept that I'm 44 and I no longer know what is cool.

I'm okay with some 20 somethings telling me what's cool. I reserve the right to tell them to get off my damn lawn.

But as a mom of four, I gotta admit, I buy stuff for my self less than ever so it's festive to me that things come in a magic box once a month.

This month it's got two full size things - a LUNA bar which I'm guessing is some sort of granola bar, meal bar thing, and bottle of Essie nail polish (WIN) in a fall color that I do like a lot.

So basically right there, I got my ten bucks worth.

This is the card that comes with to tell you about the products you've gotten.The two wee bottles are sample sizes of various face skin stuff, lip enhancer (for DSL) and under eye cream (for us old chix) so, yay. Things in flat rip open packets I will forever forget so, it's some sort of sun screen I will never use.

Also, I signed up for Goop. Nice marketing Goop.

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October Birchbox is Goopy

So this month for my Birchbox I had a choice, a GOOP Birchbox or a regular Birchbox.

I chose a GOOP Birchbox because, hey. Goop.

I don't actually know that GOOP is. I looked at their website and from what I can tell, without subscribing, you sign up and they tell you what is cool. I think this is awesome because, I have to accept that I'm 44 and I no longer know what is cool.

I'm okay with some 20 somethings telling me what's cool. I reserve the right to tell them to get off my damn lawn.

But as a mom of four, I gotta admit, I buy stuff for my self less than ever so it's festive to me that things come in a magic box once a month.

This month it's got two full size things - a LUNA bar which I'm guessing is some sort of granola bar, meal bar thing, and bottle of Essie nail polish (WIN) in a fall color that I do like a lot.

So basically right there, I got my ten bucks worth.

This is the card that comes with to tell you about the products you've gotten.The two wee bottles are sample sizes of various face skin stuff, lip enhancer (for DSL) and under eye cream (for us old chix) so, yay. Things in flat rip open packets I will forever forget so, it's some sort of sun screen I will never use.

Also, I signed up for Goop. Nice marketing Goop.

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Joan Rivers Mixes the Truth With Lies

Ok so I just woke up from a dream. It was one of those dreams you have in between the snooze alarm going off. I was at the make up couner, at Lancome to be exact, and I was dithering about some lipstick when the woman next to me said "You know I can't even be bothered with this stuff. I just had all of mine tattooed on."

I looked over - and it was JOAN RIVERS.

She then takes me to a conference room, with someone else - god I think it was the I.T. manager I work with, and she's telling me that she understands what a hassle makeup is. That at the age of 46 she's just over it.

I said "Joan, no way you are 46 - you were an ADULT when I was little." But she keeps insisting she is 46 and that having all of your makeup tattooed on is the way to go. She keeps going on about how she understands I'm both tired and lazy and shouldn't have to bother with it.

My I.T. manager says "Yeah, you've been looking a little rough."

OMG. If you excuse me, I have to go put makeup on now.

Stupid Joan Rivers.

Joan Rivers Mixes the Truth With Lies

Ok so I just woke up from a dream. It was one of those dreams you have in between the snooze alarm going off. I was at the make up couner, at Lancome to be exact, and I was dithering about some lipstick when the woman next to me said "You know I can't even be bothered with this stuff. I just had all of mine tattooed on."

I looked over - and it was JOAN RIVERS.

She then takes me to a conference room, with someone else - god I think it was the I.T. manager I work with, and she's telling me that she understands what a hassle makeup is. That at the age of 46 she's just over it.

I said "Joan, no way you are 46 - you were an ADULT when I was little." But she keeps insisting she is 46 and that having all of your makeup tattooed on is the way to go. She keeps going on about how she understands I'm both tired and lazy and shouldn't have to bother with it.

My I.T. manager says "Yeah, you've been looking a little rough."

OMG. If you excuse me, I have to go put makeup on now.

Stupid Joan Rivers.

Avon Has Magic Makeup

I didn't know it, but Avon has evolved over the years. One of the ladies I work with is selling Avon so I've fallen prey to it's allure once again. The first thing I noticed was that Reese Witherspoon is one of their major models these days (bizarre).

The second thing I noticed is that somehow they manage to disguise her freakshow of a chin.

I mean, that is a freakshow. It's like an appendage. I have never, ever understood the "allure" of her beauty when she's sporting a chin like that. She must have an amazing manager.

I mean, she's practically a LENO she has such an amazing chin. Yet - in page after page of the Avon Catalog ........she's a normal chinned human.

If AVON makeup can do this for Reese Witherspoon - imagine what it can do for mere mortals like me! YAY!

Avon Has Magic Makeup

I didn't know it, but Avon has evolved over the years. One of the ladies I work with is selling Avon so I've fallen prey to it's allure once again. The first thing I noticed was that Reese Witherspoon is one of their major models these days (bizarre).

The second thing I noticed is that somehow they manage to disguise her freakshow of a chin.

I mean, that is a freakshow. It's like an appendage. I have never, ever understood the "allure" of her beauty when she's sporting a chin like that. She must have an amazing manager.

I mean, she's practically a LENO she has such an amazing chin. Yet - in page after page of the Avon Catalog ........she's a normal chinned human.

If AVON makeup can do this for Reese Witherspoon - imagine what it can do for mere mortals like me! YAY!

If Not Now.......When.....

Eyeliner is both my nemesis and my beloved. It's the Frenemy of my makeup bag.



When I started wearing eyeliner, it was so long ago that you mixed your Mary Kay eyeshadow with water and you used a lighter on the eyeliner to make it melty and go on smoothly.

As a matter of fact - I'm bringing that back so get ready.

But beyond that, I've had what alcoholics call THE MOMENT OF CLARITY regarding eyeliner.

Since I was 16 I have been struggling with, fighting with, sometimes failing sometimes succeeding in getting my eyeliner on in a nice smooth line without tugging on the corner of my eye to pull the skin taught. You eyeliner wearers know what I am talking about. You don't want to get wrinkles! When you get older you'll get wrinkles if you tug on that skin every day!

And then, as I struggled the other morning .......it occurred to me........

I AM OLDER.

What the hell I'm 40 dear GOD can I please have perfect straight eyeliner now until I die?

Yes. YES I CAN.

Note to all my friends. We're older. You can tug on the corner of your eye now to get your liner straight. It's over.

If Not Now.......When.....

Eyeliner is both my nemesis and my beloved. It's the Frenemy of my makeup bag.



When I started wearing eyeliner, it was so long ago that you mixed your Mary Kay eyeshadow with water and you used a lighter on the eyeliner to make it melty and go on smoothly.

As a matter of fact - I'm bringing that back so get ready.

But beyond that, I've had what alcoholics call THE MOMENT OF CLARITY regarding eyeliner.

Since I was 16 I have been struggling with, fighting with, sometimes failing sometimes succeeding in getting my eyeliner on in a nice smooth line without tugging on the corner of my eye to pull the skin taught. You eyeliner wearers know what I am talking about. You don't want to get wrinkles! When you get older you'll get wrinkles if you tug on that skin every day!

And then, as I struggled the other morning .......it occurred to me........

I AM OLDER.

What the hell I'm 40 dear GOD can I please have perfect straight eyeliner now until I die?

Yes. YES I CAN.

Note to all my friends. We're older. You can tug on the corner of your eye now to get your liner straight. It's over.