Did It Hurt ?

The girl has been very interested lately in babies. Specifically in the HAVING of babies. When Louis was a little guy, he learned all the news about the birds and the bees very early because we explained to him the whole process at 19 months old when the twins were born. We kept reinforcing it, telling him the truth and using all the right words like good, modern parents.
This lead to him starting stories with "Remember that time you went to the hospital and the babies came out of your vagina?" But still, he got it and understood it.
Julia has known that she used to live in my tummy, and that every other child in our house used to also. She knows that the twins lived there together and this is what makes them twins. But she's never asked about the HOW until recently.
She asked me a few days ago how she got out of my tummy
I did the good modern parent routine. "Well, most babies like the boys come of out of a mommy's vaginas. But you were in the wrong position, so Mommy had a special operation and the doctor made a cut on my tummy after giving me medicine so it didn't hurt, and they pulled you out foot first."

That seemed to appease. Especially since Louis laughed at the idea of her dangling by her foot, and she seemed to think that was funny too.

But then two days ago, she comes up to me and places her hand on my stomach and looks up at me with teary eyes. "Mommy," she says. "Did it hurt when they cut off your tummy?" And her lip quivers and she's now got tears rolling down her face. "Did you cry?"

It's just different telling this to girls than I had realized. Mainly because, it could happen to THEM so they see it differently. It's not "oh that's an interesting process" it's "OMG that's going to HAPPEN TO ME?" I hadn't thought of it like that until that moment that I saw my own daughter facing the fear of childbirth that I remember well. Childbirth is one of those things that looms for females. Being a mommy is a fantastic game until you realize what you actually have to do to be one. I personally didn't mind it, but I'm awfully damn glad to know I'm not going to do it again, too. But when you haven't done it, it's just damn scary.

I scooped her up onto my lap and kissed her. "Baby they didn't cut off my tummy." And I went back through it, in very easy terms about the operation. I told her some lies, that it wasn't scary, that I didn't cry, I told her some truths, that I would've done it 1000 times to make sure she was born safe and sound, that it was worth every minute because it meant today I have a Julia to love, and that I was so happy when it was over, because I could finally kiss and hug her.

I hiked down my shorts and showed her my little tiny incision (Thank you Dr Doris). She stared at it intently. "How did a baby come out of that?" "You just did! I don't know! But surgeons do amazing stuff and that's how they got you out."

She inspected it and touched it. "Well that's not so bad."

No. It's not so bad little girl. It was worth every single inch of it.

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Did It Hurt ?

The girl has been very interested lately in babies. Specifically in the HAVING of babies. When Louis was a little guy, he learned all the news about the birds and the bees very early because we explained to him the whole process at 19 months old when the twins were born. We kept reinforcing it, telling him the truth and using all the right words like good, modern parents.
This lead to him starting stories with "Remember that time you went to the hospital and the babies came out of your vagina?" But still, he got it and understood it.
Julia has known that she used to live in my tummy, and that every other child in our house used to also. She knows that the twins lived there together and this is what makes them twins. But she's never asked about the HOW until recently.
She asked me a few days ago how she got out of my tummy
I did the good modern parent routine. "Well, most babies like the boys come of out of a mommy's vaginas. But you were in the wrong position, so Mommy had a special operation and the doctor made a cut on my tummy after giving me medicine so it didn't hurt, and they pulled you out foot first."

That seemed to appease. Especially since Louis laughed at the idea of her dangling by her foot, and she seemed to think that was funny too.

But then two days ago, she comes up to me and places her hand on my stomach and looks up at me with teary eyes. "Mommy," she says. "Did it hurt when they cut off your tummy?" And her lip quivers and she's now got tears rolling down her face. "Did you cry?"

It's just different telling this to girls than I had realized. Mainly because, it could happen to THEM so they see it differently. It's not "oh that's an interesting process" it's "OMG that's going to HAPPEN TO ME?" I hadn't thought of it like that until that moment that I saw my own daughter facing the fear of childbirth that I remember well. Childbirth is one of those things that looms for females. Being a mommy is a fantastic game until you realize what you actually have to do to be one. I personally didn't mind it, but I'm awfully damn glad to know I'm not going to do it again, too. But when you haven't done it, it's just damn scary.

I scooped her up onto my lap and kissed her. "Baby they didn't cut off my tummy." And I went back through it, in very easy terms about the operation. I told her some lies, that it wasn't scary, that I didn't cry, I told her some truths, that I would've done it 1000 times to make sure she was born safe and sound, that it was worth every minute because it meant today I have a Julia to love, and that I was so happy when it was over, because I could finally kiss and hug her.

I hiked down my shorts and showed her my little tiny incision (Thank you Dr Doris). She stared at it intently. "How did a baby come out of that?" "You just did! I don't know! But surgeons do amazing stuff and that's how they got you out."

She inspected it and touched it. "Well that's not so bad."

No. It's not so bad little girl. It was worth every single inch of it.

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Thursday Was Better

A nap on Wednesday pretty much changed my world, oddly. I woke up three hours later, had lunch of London Broil and truly felt like a different person. Yeah I still had pain and discomfort but really the percocet was keeping it deep enough that I could think and function.



And on Thursday....we got to go home.

Needless to say, there were some short people who were terribly excited to have her at home.
The big boy also was made student of the week the day she came home, and got to bring home the class mascot - so he was pretty much having a banner day all around.

The twins were divided in their opinion regarding the addition of this new human to the clan. While Baby Birdman was dismissive of her, probably jealous.........his brother was a total gigglebox and at one point got the boppy and positioned himself on the sofa - clearly waiting his turn to hold the baby. So of course we obliged.

And I know I was an emo mess and pretty much in full flip out mode recounting Monday-Wednesday of this event. But I did want to share something beautiful from Monday.....the day she was born.

This bloomed on my rose bush. I tried to hold onto the idea of it as a good omen. (I failed). But obviously, I was right.

I survived.

Thursday Was Better

A nap on Wednesday pretty much changed my world, oddly. I woke up three hours later, had lunch of London Broil and truly felt like a different person. Yeah I still had pain and discomfort but really the percocet was keeping it deep enough that I could think and function.



And on Thursday....we got to go home.

Needless to say, there were some short people who were terribly excited to have her at home.
The big boy also was made student of the week the day she came home, and got to bring home the class mascot - so he was pretty much having a banner day all around.

The twins were divided in their opinion regarding the addition of this new human to the clan. While Baby Birdman was dismissive of her, probably jealous.........his brother was a total gigglebox and at one point got the boppy and positioned himself on the sofa - clearly waiting his turn to hold the baby. So of course we obliged.

And I know I was an emo mess and pretty much in full flip out mode recounting Monday-Wednesday of this event. But I did want to share something beautiful from Monday.....the day she was born.

This bloomed on my rose bush. I tried to hold onto the idea of it as a good omen. (I failed). But obviously, I was right.

I survived.

Now We Are Six

I am just able to sit up properly in a chair for an extended period of time. I've had a couple people text me and say they couldn't wait to read me recounting the c-section and delivery.

I suppose it's attention hoaring to even go ahead and do it when there is this huge part of me that would rather put it aside and focus on the end result. It was painful, it was harrowing, it was the nightmare I expected and then some. It was undignified and terrifying and unpleasant on many levels.


But it's also kinda what I do, recounting the things that happen so.......I'm gonna do this in multiple parts. This way you can enjoy my pain and suffering in pieces, just like I did.

Monday morning we drove off to the hospital and I'll admit it. I wasn't joyous. I was some delicate combination of bitter and terrified. I can't tell you the extent to which I was furious at fate for forcing me to have this damned surgery. I totally appreciate that it was a WAY BETTER alternative than one of us ending up dead but still - I wasn't jolly or pleased. I couldn't smile.

I could barely talk or answer their fucking questions. I truthfully wanted to scream YOU MUTHERFUCKERS HAVE ASKED ME THIS BULLSHIT 20 FUCKING TIMES ALREADY YOU KNOW THE ANSWER NOW LETS JUST DO THIS.



But I didn't, I just clenched my teeth and tried to breathe.



We were greeted right before surgery by DOCTOR SHOUTING ANESTHESIOLOGIST. He apparently had to SHOUT HIS GREETINGS AND HIS ASSURANCE THAT ALL WOULD BE WELL.


I informed him that I had been promised Versed after the cord was cut, and he seemed a little taken back by that but said he'd order it up.


I had already told my OB multiple times, the anesthesiologist who did my pre-op and anyone else who would listen that I was about to fucking STROKE OUT over the entire event. I felt I had made it clear that anxiety and stress were not the appropriate terms for my fears over this event.


First off, they walked me into the operating room which looked surreal and like a horror show, and set me on the table for my epidural. It was during this time that DOCTOR SHOUTING ANESTHESIOLOGIST began to torture me with a hot metal wire that he drug up and down my spine. Now it wasn't hot probably, nor metal even. But that is how it felt, he couldn't get it placed and AFTER I GOT DONE SCREAMING SO LOUD MY HUSBAND DOWN THE HALL HEARD ME, he got it right. And then I started sobbing. I couldn't stop.

They kept asking me "What is wrong what is wrong?" and I couldn't even say words. I just cried as they laid me down and started strapping me down into position, shaking my body and attaching this and that, telling me what they were doing and I was still crying. I didn't even care.

My doctor came in and tried to turn the baby one more time,but she was too big to move. Onward to C - Section.

When they hung up the sheet I heard them call my husband in and right about then I had to puke. I could barely speak but the nurse anesthetist heard me and got me a lovely pink pail to puke in. Of course, when you can't control your diaphragm properly you can't actually puke. So there I am, spitting and having these awful retching movements uncontrollably but nothing is coming out. It was about that point that she put a cold cloth on my head and my husband snapped this pic.

I wish that I could've snapped a pic back. The nurse anesthetist was Indian or something - and quite beautiful. It should've been soothing, to look up at such a beautiful face but it wasn't - I could see the concern and worry across her eyes as she watched me losing control of my sanity.

Unknown to me that they were in full swing - that I was cut open and the show had started.....I felt some movement but thought that the nurses were still moving me around- I couldn't see anything beyond the curtain hanging in my face.

My mask started to make me hot, and the nurse was nice and would take it off intermittently.

But then I heard a saw.

Now, you and I both know that I didn't hear a saw. They even told me, it was a suction device. But - it SOUNDED like a saw. And I wasn't aware that I was all flayed open horribly.

Yeah that's really me getting worked on.

I might've calmed down about the saw, which I did rave about for a bit.....I was not convinced something horrible was happening except that next a giant fat man sat on my chest.

Yes that's right. A terrible weight came down on my chest and despite being SHOWN my pulse ox was fine - I couldn't stop my panic. I couldn't breathe. Someone had to be leaning on me. I just knew it. Right behind this fat man sitting on me - came this sensation of fire. Something was burning.

And I had to go.

That's right. I started telling them I was done, I had to go. I HAD TO GO NOW. And yeah, I was exactly that crazy. I vaguely remember saying "I can't do this I have to go I have to GO I have TO GO NOW" and hearing them calling for the Versed and my husband talking to the nurse anesthetist about that me being so scared - and asking if it was anxiety and verifying that I wasn't really feeling anything.

I could hear the baby screaming in the background - but it barely registered honestly. She was really loud, I heard them talking about her being big - VERY big. But it was just background noise as the crazy was gripping me hard.

What I can remember at this point is that he was telling me to close my eyes, which was pissing me off as I wasn't going to close my eyes when I WAS GOING TO LEAVE and also telling me that he was going to go (he had to pick our other kids up). It was getting on my nerves so I TOLD HIM TO JUST LEAVE THEN. But he was still there - and the baby was crying.......I remember that. My doctor started telling me jokes. Which was pissing me off.

I just remember this overwhelming feeling of panic, and fear as they were lowering my head and a comment made about "putting me back together."

And then I woke up in recovery.

Now We Are Six

I am just able to sit up properly in a chair for an extended period of time. I've had a couple people text me and say they couldn't wait to read me recounting the c-section and delivery.

I suppose it's attention hoaring to even go ahead and do it when there is this huge part of me that would rather put it aside and focus on the end result. It was painful, it was harrowing, it was the nightmare I expected and then some. It was undignified and terrifying and unpleasant on many levels.


But it's also kinda what I do, recounting the things that happen so.......I'm gonna do this in multiple parts. This way you can enjoy my pain and suffering in pieces, just like I did.

Monday morning we drove off to the hospital and I'll admit it. I wasn't joyous. I was some delicate combination of bitter and terrified. I can't tell you the extent to which I was furious at fate for forcing me to have this damned surgery. I totally appreciate that it was a WAY BETTER alternative than one of us ending up dead but still - I wasn't jolly or pleased. I couldn't smile.

I could barely talk or answer their fucking questions. I truthfully wanted to scream YOU MUTHERFUCKERS HAVE ASKED ME THIS BULLSHIT 20 FUCKING TIMES ALREADY YOU KNOW THE ANSWER NOW LETS JUST DO THIS.



But I didn't, I just clenched my teeth and tried to breathe.



We were greeted right before surgery by DOCTOR SHOUTING ANESTHESIOLOGIST. He apparently had to SHOUT HIS GREETINGS AND HIS ASSURANCE THAT ALL WOULD BE WELL.


I informed him that I had been promised Versed after the cord was cut, and he seemed a little taken back by that but said he'd order it up.


I had already told my OB multiple times, the anesthesiologist who did my pre-op and anyone else who would listen that I was about to fucking STROKE OUT over the entire event. I felt I had made it clear that anxiety and stress were not the appropriate terms for my fears over this event.


First off, they walked me into the operating room which looked surreal and like a horror show, and set me on the table for my epidural. It was during this time that DOCTOR SHOUTING ANESTHESIOLOGIST began to torture me with a hot metal wire that he drug up and down my spine. Now it wasn't hot probably, nor metal even. But that is how it felt, he couldn't get it placed and AFTER I GOT DONE SCREAMING SO LOUD MY HUSBAND DOWN THE HALL HEARD ME, he got it right. And then I started sobbing. I couldn't stop.

They kept asking me "What is wrong what is wrong?" and I couldn't even say words. I just cried as they laid me down and started strapping me down into position, shaking my body and attaching this and that, telling me what they were doing and I was still crying. I didn't even care.

My doctor came in and tried to turn the baby one more time,but she was too big to move. Onward to C - Section.

When they hung up the sheet I heard them call my husband in and right about then I had to puke. I could barely speak but the nurse anesthetist heard me and got me a lovely pink pail to puke in. Of course, when you can't control your diaphragm properly you can't actually puke. So there I am, spitting and having these awful retching movements uncontrollably but nothing is coming out. It was about that point that she put a cold cloth on my head and my husband snapped this pic.

I wish that I could've snapped a pic back. The nurse anesthetist was Indian or something - and quite beautiful. It should've been soothing, to look up at such a beautiful face but it wasn't - I could see the concern and worry across her eyes as she watched me losing control of my sanity.

Unknown to me that they were in full swing - that I was cut open and the show had started.....I felt some movement but thought that the nurses were still moving me around- I couldn't see anything beyond the curtain hanging in my face.

My mask started to make me hot, and the nurse was nice and would take it off intermittently.

But then I heard a saw.

Now, you and I both know that I didn't hear a saw. They even told me, it was a suction device. But - it SOUNDED like a saw. And I wasn't aware that I was all flayed open horribly.

Yeah that's really me getting worked on.

I might've calmed down about the saw, which I did rave about for a bit.....I was not convinced something horrible was happening except that next a giant fat man sat on my chest.

Yes that's right. A terrible weight came down on my chest and despite being SHOWN my pulse ox was fine - I couldn't stop my panic. I couldn't breathe. Someone had to be leaning on me. I just knew it. Right behind this fat man sitting on me - came this sensation of fire. Something was burning.

And I had to go.

That's right. I started telling them I was done, I had to go. I HAD TO GO NOW. And yeah, I was exactly that crazy. I vaguely remember saying "I can't do this I have to go I have to GO I have TO GO NOW" and hearing them calling for the Versed and my husband talking to the nurse anesthetist about that me being so scared - and asking if it was anxiety and verifying that I wasn't really feeling anything.

I could hear the baby screaming in the background - but it barely registered honestly. She was really loud, I heard them talking about her being big - VERY big. But it was just background noise as the crazy was gripping me hard.

What I can remember at this point is that he was telling me to close my eyes, which was pissing me off as I wasn't going to close my eyes when I WAS GOING TO LEAVE and also telling me that he was going to go (he had to pick our other kids up). It was getting on my nerves so I TOLD HIM TO JUST LEAVE THEN. But he was still there - and the baby was crying.......I remember that. My doctor started telling me jokes. Which was pissing me off.

I just remember this overwhelming feeling of panic, and fear as they were lowering my head and a comment made about "putting me back together."

And then I woke up in recovery.

There Is No Dignity in Labor and Delivery

Two nights ago I had some very lovely real deal contractions and after an hour of them, we whisked off the to hospital - convinced go time had arrived.
When I got back to triage - there was a nurse waiting for me with a big grin "You must be Bridgette -HI! I'm Kimberly's mom!"
Kimberly is my good friend from where I used to work.
So at first, I was like, OH HAI cool....someone who kinda knows me.

Here is what I didn't factor in. Her next statement:"Ok let's check your cervix."

I'm serious man. Did you ever meet someone's parent for the first time only to have them reach into your lady parts not ten minutes later and dig for your cervix? No? NOR SHOULD YOU. It's so feckin undignified.

I mean, I didn't even care at the time, I didn't process it till later because once you've had babies you know that no modesty and no dignity are part of the process when the contractions start. But still. HOW SURREAL.

The contractions slacked, slowed, got far far less on the magic machine that reads them and then the doctor got out of surgery and SHE came for a dig in my vag - ruled me dilated to two but not progressing so sent me home.

So I'm home. I'm doing pre-op today which I am sure will be hella good times right. I'll be meeting with anethesiology and beating them in the head about the drugs I want. ALL OF THE FUCKING DRUGS- JUST WRITE DOWN ALL OF THE FUCKING DRUGS.

For now we wait.......and I just hope that we wait till Monday.......because some nutball hit my husband yesterday with her car - which is in itself another WHOLE blog post........

There Is No Dignity in Labor and Delivery

Two nights ago I had some very lovely real deal contractions and after an hour of them, we whisked off the to hospital - convinced go time had arrived.
When I got back to triage - there was a nurse waiting for me with a big grin "You must be Bridgette -HI! I'm Kimberly's mom!"
Kimberly is my good friend from where I used to work.
So at first, I was like, OH HAI cool....someone who kinda knows me.

Here is what I didn't factor in. Her next statement:"Ok let's check your cervix."

I'm serious man. Did you ever meet someone's parent for the first time only to have them reach into your lady parts not ten minutes later and dig for your cervix? No? NOR SHOULD YOU. It's so feckin undignified.

I mean, I didn't even care at the time, I didn't process it till later because once you've had babies you know that no modesty and no dignity are part of the process when the contractions start. But still. HOW SURREAL.

The contractions slacked, slowed, got far far less on the magic machine that reads them and then the doctor got out of surgery and SHE came for a dig in my vag - ruled me dilated to two but not progressing so sent me home.

So I'm home. I'm doing pre-op today which I am sure will be hella good times right. I'll be meeting with anethesiology and beating them in the head about the drugs I want. ALL OF THE FUCKING DRUGS- JUST WRITE DOWN ALL OF THE FUCKING DRUGS.

For now we wait.......and I just hope that we wait till Monday.......because some nutball hit my husband yesterday with her car - which is in itself another WHOLE blog post........

Put Me In Coach

I have to admit it, I'm more than vexed by the concept that I've conceived a child that won't obey mother nature and turn the correct direction for delivery. I got lucky previously. I know this. Easy labor, easy births - even the twins - for a TWIN delivery were a cake walk comparatively.

I have always, ALWAYS gotten my way, when it came to labor and delivery.

I got the drugs, I got the experience I wanted.

And well......I kinda like it.

I don't FEAR it. It's the known to me. I know for a fact that this frame and these hips can get the job done, I'm BUILT to breed except for that whole deformed uterus thing.

I can DO this, Mother Nature. Put me in. What's the trade off this time? No drugs......well that'd suck but you know what, I'd take it over the c-section I really would. I'd take a deep breath and plung forward that women have for thousands of years and it'd be fine.

I'm not being put in. I've been sidelined, reduced to a spectator in the birth of my own child, my only daughter. It's making me a little bitter, I have to admit. If I brush aside my abject FEAR of surgery, of the recovery, of the pain and suffering I'm going to endure afterward vs. the next to nothing after childbirth.......I'm fucking PISSED OFF that I'm no longer an integral part of this process.

I am not the crew. I am the Enterprise. And that is so not cool.

Does it beat the alternatives? Well hell yeah. I'd rather this than either of us end up dead. But I'm a bit pissed off at fate I have to admit.

And I'm gonna be a huge baby about this whole thing. I'd like everyone to just get their hankies out now because I'm not gonna be brave or tough or nuttin.

I have included random pics from our Twins Club Spring Party for one reason.

They make me happy.

Hope yours was magical too.

Put Me In Coach

I have to admit it, I'm more than vexed by the concept that I've conceived a child that won't obey mother nature and turn the correct direction for delivery. I got lucky previously. I know this. Easy labor, easy births - even the twins - for a TWIN delivery were a cake walk comparatively.

I have always, ALWAYS gotten my way, when it came to labor and delivery.

I got the drugs, I got the experience I wanted.

And well......I kinda like it.

I don't FEAR it. It's the known to me. I know for a fact that this frame and these hips can get the job done, I'm BUILT to breed except for that whole deformed uterus thing.

I can DO this, Mother Nature. Put me in. What's the trade off this time? No drugs......well that'd suck but you know what, I'd take it over the c-section I really would. I'd take a deep breath and plung forward that women have for thousands of years and it'd be fine.

I'm not being put in. I've been sidelined, reduced to a spectator in the birth of my own child, my only daughter. It's making me a little bitter, I have to admit. If I brush aside my abject FEAR of surgery, of the recovery, of the pain and suffering I'm going to endure afterward vs. the next to nothing after childbirth.......I'm fucking PISSED OFF that I'm no longer an integral part of this process.

I am not the crew. I am the Enterprise. And that is so not cool.

Does it beat the alternatives? Well hell yeah. I'd rather this than either of us end up dead. But I'm a bit pissed off at fate I have to admit.

And I'm gonna be a huge baby about this whole thing. I'd like everyone to just get their hankies out now because I'm not gonna be brave or tough or nuttin.

I have included random pics from our Twins Club Spring Party for one reason.

They make me happy.

Hope yours was magical too.

I Was Wrong, It SHOULD Be AVERSION

Ok so I don't want to rave on like a lunatic about being pregnant because really, even I'm getting bored with it. But truthfully, now that I've tried the VERSION process, I'm filing it under ACK.

Mine didn't work.

That's the less dramatic version of the story.

The dramatic version would be that I truly believe I could've birthed her on the spot with less agony than what I went through as he tried to shove my giant baby into a position she had no interest in going to. I'm not sure that it's natural for a human to put their hands that deeply into your abdomen and have them not come up bloody.

I was as quiet as I could be though, during the process, because my #1 thought was that if he knew how badly this optional procedure was hurting me, he'd STOP. And the last thing I wanted him to do was stop.

But it didn't matter, and when it was all over I had the shakes from the terbutaline (sp?) they'd given me to relax my uterus and hopefully prevent the onset of labor. They brought me a zombie turkey sandwich (ask Homer Simpson if you don't get the reference) and some apple juice which I slugged down at about 1 I'm guessing. We'd arrived at 8:30.

Today I'm miserable. My entire stomach hurts like it was in a fight. And it lost. Which is hard to believe given it's SIZE.

So now the plan is, c section April 20. When I get there, after my spinal, he will try to turn her again. Apparently he can shove a lot harder when I can't feel the pain. Or if I go into labor, and they do a spinal, and the stars are aligned just right - again - he'll try to turn her. But she's a pretty big girl and only getting bigger. So we'll hope for the best but not hold our breath.

He's promising me I can have Versed as soon as the cord is cut, and right now, that's about all I'm looking forward to.

I Was Wrong, It SHOULD Be AVERSION

Ok so I don't want to rave on like a lunatic about being pregnant because really, even I'm getting bored with it. But truthfully, now that I've tried the VERSION process, I'm filing it under ACK.

Mine didn't work.

That's the less dramatic version of the story.

The dramatic version would be that I truly believe I could've birthed her on the spot with less agony than what I went through as he tried to shove my giant baby into a position she had no interest in going to. I'm not sure that it's natural for a human to put their hands that deeply into your abdomen and have them not come up bloody.

I was as quiet as I could be though, during the process, because my #1 thought was that if he knew how badly this optional procedure was hurting me, he'd STOP. And the last thing I wanted him to do was stop.

But it didn't matter, and when it was all over I had the shakes from the terbutaline (sp?) they'd given me to relax my uterus and hopefully prevent the onset of labor. They brought me a zombie turkey sandwich (ask Homer Simpson if you don't get the reference) and some apple juice which I slugged down at about 1 I'm guessing. We'd arrived at 8:30.

Today I'm miserable. My entire stomach hurts like it was in a fight. And it lost. Which is hard to believe given it's SIZE.

So now the plan is, c section April 20. When I get there, after my spinal, he will try to turn her again. Apparently he can shove a lot harder when I can't feel the pain. Or if I go into labor, and they do a spinal, and the stars are aligned just right - again - he'll try to turn her. But she's a pretty big girl and only getting bigger. So we'll hope for the best but not hold our breath.

He's promising me I can have Versed as soon as the cord is cut, and right now, that's about all I'm looking forward to.

The Hospital is Losing It's Mystery To Me

Mid-day yesterday I was feeling rather bad. I was hot and flushed and just........NOT GOOD, I'm sure that's the medical term. I went to the bathroom and to my horror there was blood on the toilet paper. Kind of quite a lot, in my estimation.
So I quickly put myself together, alerted my asst mgr that I was gonna call the OB but I was definitely LEAVING and went into my office.
I talked to the nurse and told her no,I wasn't contracting but I was bleeding and she said she'd get with him and call me right back.
AS SOON AS I HUNG UP I STARTED CONTRACTING.

What sort of annoying crap is that? Shortly she called me back and told me to lie down at home for the rest of the day and call if I started cramping or if I bled more-at which point I said "Funneh you mention that......I've started having contractions."

And it was off to the hospital!

While I was there the bleeding stopped and was determined to be of indeterminate origin. NOTHING wrong with the placenta, might've been the "bloody show" however my cervix has made ZERO progress so that's a "MAYBE" at best. Usually you get a small amount of dilation and effacing with bloody show - that's how it gets released. So......they dunno why I had bleeding. But everything is ok.

They loaded me up with fluids and the contractions slacked away to such an extent that I actually sort of forgot about them, enjoying Law and Order like I was. I had just started into an episode of BONES when they came in to check the monitor's placement and then came back and interrupted AGAIN to tell me my contractions had stopped and they were calling the doc.

Of course they came in and talked BOTH TIMES that I needed to HEAR what was going on. All I know if that there was a Chinese girl found dead and she had no bones. NUTTY!

It was a matter of minutes before they came in to tell me I could go home, the show was stopped for today.

We're still on for THURSDAY for the Version to turn her.

WISH US LUCK!

The Hospital is Losing It's Mystery To Me

Mid-day yesterday I was feeling rather bad. I was hot and flushed and just........NOT GOOD, I'm sure that's the medical term. I went to the bathroom and to my horror there was blood on the toilet paper. Kind of quite a lot, in my estimation.
So I quickly put myself together, alerted my asst mgr that I was gonna call the OB but I was definitely LEAVING and went into my office.
I talked to the nurse and told her no,I wasn't contracting but I was bleeding and she said she'd get with him and call me right back.
AS SOON AS I HUNG UP I STARTED CONTRACTING.

What sort of annoying crap is that? Shortly she called me back and told me to lie down at home for the rest of the day and call if I started cramping or if I bled more-at which point I said "Funneh you mention that......I've started having contractions."

And it was off to the hospital!

While I was there the bleeding stopped and was determined to be of indeterminate origin. NOTHING wrong with the placenta, might've been the "bloody show" however my cervix has made ZERO progress so that's a "MAYBE" at best. Usually you get a small amount of dilation and effacing with bloody show - that's how it gets released. So......they dunno why I had bleeding. But everything is ok.

They loaded me up with fluids and the contractions slacked away to such an extent that I actually sort of forgot about them, enjoying Law and Order like I was. I had just started into an episode of BONES when they came in to check the monitor's placement and then came back and interrupted AGAIN to tell me my contractions had stopped and they were calling the doc.

Of course they came in and talked BOTH TIMES that I needed to HEAR what was going on. All I know if that there was a Chinese girl found dead and she had no bones. NUTTY!

It was a matter of minutes before they came in to tell me I could go home, the show was stopped for today.

We're still on for THURSDAY for the Version to turn her.

WISH US LUCK!

It's a Version Not Aversion

I had the first of my twice weekly OB appts this week and had the big sit down with my doc about the BABY SITUATION.

She's breech. And seems to have no interest in turning herself about. She's been in this same position now for weeks in fact, with her head resting comfortably against my placenta and floating just as high as she possibly can.

It's fairly uncomfortable.

So we talked about what to do about little missy and his options were to schedule a VERSION or schedule a c-section. I said HEY let's do that Version thing!

What, you might ask, is a version?

No that is NOT me.

But basically they hook you up to some sort of meds that relax all your muscles so that "hopefully" your uterus doesn't contract and then using his hands on the outside, the doctor gives the baby a bunch of shoves around until she's head down. IF it works.

My OB says that he has about an 80% success rate getting that baby turned. The problem is that this procedure can induce labor. It can cause other complications that lead to you staying in the hospital to deliver OR you have to have an emergency c-section.

So his advice was to come packed and ready to stay. Just in case.

I also told him that the idea of a c-section is giving me the screaming mimis and he was glad I told him. He apparently had a patient have a freak out last week - and she hadn't shared with him that her deep motivation for NOT wanting the C was FEAR. I told him OH HELL I'm totally fear driven. I let him know I'll be the hysterical person on the other side of the sheet. So he's going to give me something to mellow me out a bit,and then once the cord is cut it's off to la-la land I go.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

Seriously, he told me that it takes about five minutes to get the baby out, and 45-60 to "put me back together". OMG. Part of me DIED hearing those words. DEAR GOD.

So wish us luck. On Thursday April 1 at 8:30 AM we might have a baby, or we might just have a baby that is turned the right way finally. One more bounce on Mr Toads Wild Ride.

It's a Version Not Aversion

I had the first of my twice weekly OB appts this week and had the big sit down with my doc about the BABY SITUATION.

She's breech. And seems to have no interest in turning herself about. She's been in this same position now for weeks in fact, with her head resting comfortably against my placenta and floating just as high as she possibly can.

It's fairly uncomfortable.

So we talked about what to do about little missy and his options were to schedule a VERSION or schedule a c-section. I said HEY let's do that Version thing!

What, you might ask, is a version?

No that is NOT me.

But basically they hook you up to some sort of meds that relax all your muscles so that "hopefully" your uterus doesn't contract and then using his hands on the outside, the doctor gives the baby a bunch of shoves around until she's head down. IF it works.

My OB says that he has about an 80% success rate getting that baby turned. The problem is that this procedure can induce labor. It can cause other complications that lead to you staying in the hospital to deliver OR you have to have an emergency c-section.

So his advice was to come packed and ready to stay. Just in case.

I also told him that the idea of a c-section is giving me the screaming mimis and he was glad I told him. He apparently had a patient have a freak out last week - and she hadn't shared with him that her deep motivation for NOT wanting the C was FEAR. I told him OH HELL I'm totally fear driven. I let him know I'll be the hysterical person on the other side of the sheet. So he's going to give me something to mellow me out a bit,and then once the cord is cut it's off to la-la land I go.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

Seriously, he told me that it takes about five minutes to get the baby out, and 45-60 to "put me back together". OMG. Part of me DIED hearing those words. DEAR GOD.

So wish us luck. On Thursday April 1 at 8:30 AM we might have a baby, or we might just have a baby that is turned the right way finally. One more bounce on Mr Toads Wild Ride.

Was This Something You Wanted?

I could make a list of retarded things that have been said to me while I was pregnant with each pregnancy, starting with the fact that when we said we were naming our oldest after Louis Armstrong we got reactions such as
" Oh he just won the Tour de France right?" and "Oh first man on the moon, COOL!" and other equally idiotic statements........some of them have been instrusive, rude, bizarre......and just - otherwordly.

But I've decided I had it this weekend, and the next person who says something insane to me is gonna get it.

Upon talking to someone I've known AT LEAST two years, and I'd sort of loosely call a friend - more of an acquaintance whose crazy I can tolerate...I informed this person that no I couldn't participate in XYZ (for like the 3rd time btw) because I AM 8 MONTHS PREGNANT (soon to be nine!) and I just can't take on anything new.
First reaction? Not congratulations, not WOW even.......it was "Was this something you wanted?"

I held my tongue but seriously, bite my ass. WHAT A RUDE EFFING THING TO SAY TO AN 8 MONTH PREGNANT WOMAN. No. No it's not, I just don't know how to keep from getting pregnant in the year 2010 - can you help me? OH LORDIE I JUST WISH THERE WAS SOME METHOD TO KEEP THESE BABIES FROM BEING HEAPED UPON ME IN THIS LIFE.

It's 2010. Moron. You don't have to have babies if you don't want babies. I'm a married woman for god's sake. My husband and I have used birth control for 2 out of 13 years so do you THINK WE WANT BABIES??? YES WE EFFING DO. WE LOVE BABIES.

Sigh, the idiocy and thoughtlessness of this statement just made my blood boil. See, I could even see these words coming out of the mouth of your VERY best friend - tentatively-upon learning you are JUST newly pregnant, because maybe they aren't sure how you feel and want to be supportive either way. But you know, at 8 months, I'm clearly down with the sickness here so really.......why would you heap such negativity upon my baby girl? Because YOU have issues?

I'm sorry that being pregnant and having babies isn't something you consider to be a privilege and a gift. It is. I couldn't be happier. And I refuse to let you rain on my parade.

Idiot.

Was This Something You Wanted?

I could make a list of retarded things that have been said to me while I was pregnant with each pregnancy, starting with the fact that when we said we were naming our oldest after Louis Armstrong we got reactions such as
" Oh he just won the Tour de France right?" and "Oh first man on the moon, COOL!" and other equally idiotic statements........some of them have been instrusive, rude, bizarre......and just - otherwordly.

But I've decided I had it this weekend, and the next person who says something insane to me is gonna get it.

Upon talking to someone I've known AT LEAST two years, and I'd sort of loosely call a friend - more of an acquaintance whose crazy I can tolerate...I informed this person that no I couldn't participate in XYZ (for like the 3rd time btw) because I AM 8 MONTHS PREGNANT (soon to be nine!) and I just can't take on anything new.
First reaction? Not congratulations, not WOW even.......it was "Was this something you wanted?"

I held my tongue but seriously, bite my ass. WHAT A RUDE EFFING THING TO SAY TO AN 8 MONTH PREGNANT WOMAN. No. No it's not, I just don't know how to keep from getting pregnant in the year 2010 - can you help me? OH LORDIE I JUST WISH THERE WAS SOME METHOD TO KEEP THESE BABIES FROM BEING HEAPED UPON ME IN THIS LIFE.

It's 2010. Moron. You don't have to have babies if you don't want babies. I'm a married woman for god's sake. My husband and I have used birth control for 2 out of 13 years so do you THINK WE WANT BABIES??? YES WE EFFING DO. WE LOVE BABIES.

Sigh, the idiocy and thoughtlessness of this statement just made my blood boil. See, I could even see these words coming out of the mouth of your VERY best friend - tentatively-upon learning you are JUST newly pregnant, because maybe they aren't sure how you feel and want to be supportive either way. But you know, at 8 months, I'm clearly down with the sickness here so really.......why would you heap such negativity upon my baby girl? Because YOU have issues?

I'm sorry that being pregnant and having babies isn't something you consider to be a privilege and a gift. It is. I couldn't be happier. And I refuse to let you rain on my parade.

Idiot.

The Hip Bone's Connected to the PAIN Bone

When I was pregnant with the first child, I heard a lot of excuses about some hip discomfort I had. Mostly that it was due to the stretching of the tendons or ligaments or whatever in your hips that will cause them to "slip" especially when you are carrying a BIG baby. It makes getting up and down hard and is often to blame for the pregnant waddle - our bodies don't WORK right anymore.
I also heard a lot of smack about how, at 34, my body wouldn't handle being pregnant as well as a twenty something's so I could expect hip problems during pregnancy.

19 months later as I was waddling around carrying TWO, my hip problems were much worse, and to add insult to injury - after I delivered they didn't go away. I had major problems, I'd get stuck in chairs and no not because of my ass. I couldn't make my hips MOVE to get up or down, and sometimes not to swing around to get out of the car. In short - my hips staged a rebellion.

It truly went on for years and I think it only just settled down in the last year or two. It's not been perfect but, soooo much better. I can't remember the last time I got stuck in the car - unable to make my torso move because my hips simply wouldn't cooperate.

But apparently now at 7 months we're back in full swing as I woke up at about 3 am in agony-on my left side and my left hip was screaming. As was I. My husband rushed to me and I assured him it wasn't the baby but the pain, my god the pain was unbelievable. It just kept getting worse and worse and I was struggling to move my leg - but it didn't occur to me it was truly "that hip problem" until he helped me get up and I walked around..........and it popped into place and the pain stopped.

This morning I coughed and I actually felt it move - which hurt A LOT.

So now what? Two more months of this. Great. I can hardly wait.

The Hip Bone's Connected to the PAIN Bone

When I was pregnant with the first child, I heard a lot of excuses about some hip discomfort I had. Mostly that it was due to the stretching of the tendons or ligaments or whatever in your hips that will cause them to "slip" especially when you are carrying a BIG baby. It makes getting up and down hard and is often to blame for the pregnant waddle - our bodies don't WORK right anymore.
I also heard a lot of smack about how, at 34, my body wouldn't handle being pregnant as well as a twenty something's so I could expect hip problems during pregnancy.

19 months later as I was waddling around carrying TWO, my hip problems were much worse, and to add insult to injury - after I delivered they didn't go away. I had major problems, I'd get stuck in chairs and no not because of my ass. I couldn't make my hips MOVE to get up or down, and sometimes not to swing around to get out of the car. In short - my hips staged a rebellion.

It truly went on for years and I think it only just settled down in the last year or two. It's not been perfect but, soooo much better. I can't remember the last time I got stuck in the car - unable to make my torso move because my hips simply wouldn't cooperate.

But apparently now at 7 months we're back in full swing as I woke up at about 3 am in agony-on my left side and my left hip was screaming. As was I. My husband rushed to me and I assured him it wasn't the baby but the pain, my god the pain was unbelievable. It just kept getting worse and worse and I was struggling to move my leg - but it didn't occur to me it was truly "that hip problem" until he helped me get up and I walked around..........and it popped into place and the pain stopped.

This morning I coughed and I actually felt it move - which hurt A LOT.

So now what? Two more months of this. Great. I can hardly wait.