Fortress Around Your Heart

I went for my annual check up at the cardiologist yesterday. Above is an image of the EKG that earned me a cardiologist. March 22 of 2014 (which I just realized is my parents anniversary) I had chest pains and ended up spending a quality day in the ER with friend Dave. Since then, a lot of things have changed.

My appointment was one I actually went prepared for with lots of questions. I didn't end up having to ask a lot of them, though. I would like to come off of my blood pressure medicine, and it turns out that with a blood pressure of 104/62 he agreed it was TOO low. I've been having some dizziness after working out, and it's probably related to a too low bp. My pulse was 64 which is apparently a good thing.

He was probably more excited than I was about my weight loss. My heartbeat was actually normal yesterday - I didn't get a pic of the normal. I'm not getting my hopes up about it staying normal, as the nature of my condition is "intermittent" you know - so sometimes I will be normal. Sometimes not.

In going over my history he asked again "no heart conditions in your family" and I answered "Funny you should mention that..." and shared about Dad's saga. When I got done talking about Dad, he said "I'm so sorry to hear that. Is he going to be ok?"

No. He's not. He's not going to be ok at all. So I told him that.

He put his pen down and said, "You realize you're changing your odds right? That won't be you if you continue to change your life now, it's not too late."

That's what I'm counting on.
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Fortress Around Your Heart

I went for my annual check up at the cardiologist yesterday. Above is an image of the EKG that earned me a cardiologist. March 22 of 2014 (which I just realized is my parents anniversary) I had chest pains and ended up spending a quality day in the ER with friend Dave. Since then, a lot of things have changed.

My appointment was one I actually went prepared for with lots of questions. I didn't end up having to ask a lot of them, though. I would like to come off of my blood pressure medicine, and it turns out that with a blood pressure of 104/62 he agreed it was TOO low. I've been having some dizziness after working out, and it's probably related to a too low bp. My pulse was 64 which is apparently a good thing.

He was probably more excited than I was about my weight loss. My heartbeat was actually normal yesterday - I didn't get a pic of the normal. I'm not getting my hopes up about it staying normal, as the nature of my condition is "intermittent" you know - so sometimes I will be normal. Sometimes not.

In going over my history he asked again "no heart conditions in your family" and I answered "Funny you should mention that..." and shared about Dad's saga. When I got done talking about Dad, he said "I'm so sorry to hear that. Is he going to be ok?"

No. He's not. He's not going to be ok at all. So I told him that.

He put his pen down and said, "You realize you're changing your odds right? That won't be you if you continue to change your life now, it's not too late."

That's what I'm counting on.
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One Year Ago Today

I have this app on my phone that I love called TIMEHOP where every day it shows you what you posted on Facebook exactly one year ago, two years ago, three years ago etc. It's fascinating. It gives me a look back at amazing days, at terrible days, it cements moments into my memory so I love it. Today I opened it to this.
"I am having some chest pains. Might have had some stress this week."
Next was this.

I remember that EKG tape really well. I remember the look on my doctor's face. I remember the look on the face of the triage nurse at the hospital as I handed it to her. It was that look  medical people get when then they are concerned as shit and are being calm for your benefit.

I remember thinking wow, this must be really bad, and then realizing that it was in fact really bad as I signed all the release forms for surgery "just in case".

My friend Dave stayed with me all day and we watched questionable reality TV including CHEATERS which is forever burned into my brain as one of the most hilarious shows ever.

It turned out I didn't have a heart attack but a heart defect that had turned itself on full forcing knocking on my ass a bit. It was one of those"I HATE BEING MORTAL" kinds of days. I gained a new OLOGIST in my life, the awesome Dr Romm and I realized everything had to change.

I haven't been as hardcore as I should've, I haven't worked as hard as I should've but I have changed a lot mostly my weight and my attitude.

Losing weight (quite a lot since this day one year ago) has completely changed my life and despite the fact that it's a lot, there is so much to go it's not funny. I can go up and down stairs without my knees screaming. I don't have to plan where I'm going to walk. These two things really are amazing differences when they occur.

Mostly though, I love every day even the shitty ones. Yes, there are shitty ones. I won't let go of people I love. I need them and I only get one life and no one gets away. I need them all. I let more things slide and hug the people I love more. I have a bucket list but it's not "things to do before I die" list it's a "things to do to be even more alive" list.  I want to do the zipline tree top quest near my house. I want to swim with the whale sharks in the big tank at the Georgia Aquarium. I want to run a 5k just once. Maybe something bigger, just once.

I am greedy and I want all of my minutes and all of my days and if you are reading this then I want you in them.

I want to be Bill Murray.

Only cooler.

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One Year Ago Today

I have this app on my phone that I love called TIMEHOP where every day it shows you what you posted on Facebook exactly one year ago, two years ago, three years ago etc. It's fascinating. It gives me a look back at amazing days, at terrible days, it cements moments into my memory so I love it. Today I opened it to this.
"I am having some chest pains. Might have had some stress this week."
Next was this.

I remember that EKG tape really well. I remember the look on my doctor's face. I remember the look on the face of the triage nurse at the hospital as I handed it to her. It was that look  medical people get when then they are concerned as shit and are being calm for your benefit.

I remember thinking wow, this must be really bad, and then realizing that it was in fact really bad as I signed all the release forms for surgery "just in case".

My friend Dave stayed with me all day and we watched questionable reality TV including CHEATERS which is forever burned into my brain as one of the most hilarious shows ever.

It turned out I didn't have a heart attack but a heart defect that had turned itself on full forcing knocking on my ass a bit. It was one of those"I HATE BEING MORTAL" kinds of days. I gained a new OLOGIST in my life, the awesome Dr Romm and I realized everything had to change.

I haven't been as hardcore as I should've, I haven't worked as hard as I should've but I have changed a lot mostly my weight and my attitude.

Losing weight (quite a lot since this day one year ago) has completely changed my life and despite the fact that it's a lot, there is so much to go it's not funny. I can go up and down stairs without my knees screaming. I don't have to plan where I'm going to walk. These two things really are amazing differences when they occur.

Mostly though, I love every day even the shitty ones. Yes, there are shitty ones. I won't let go of people I love. I need them and I only get one life and no one gets away. I need them all. I let more things slide and hug the people I love more. I have a bucket list but it's not "things to do before I die" list it's a "things to do to be even more alive" list.  I want to do the zipline tree top quest near my house. I want to swim with the whale sharks in the big tank at the Georgia Aquarium. I want to run a 5k just once. Maybe something bigger, just once.

I am greedy and I want all of my minutes and all of my days and if you are reading this then I want you in them.

I want to be Bill Murray.

Only cooler.

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Convalescent

I rested most of this weekend. I missed two soccer games, which while I was missing them didn't bother me at all. But then they were over and I didn't get to see things, and the recap wasn't the same and I realized how much I HATE MISSING THINGS.
I have a prescription for Toradol and I'm not exactly sure why or what it is. I looked it up, and it says it's an nSaid and I remember them saying to take it for pain and to keep me relaxed except I don't have any pain so why am I taking this? It says may cause drowsiness, I'm not sure if it's that or I'm just tired though.

I think this is the one point of clarity I didn't get at the hospital. I thought I asked all the questions but after several hours of being at the hospital plus having my mind numbed by daytime TV clearly I missed something.

I did make it out on Sunday. Because the Universe is a comedian, I've developed a sinus infection and had to trek over to Minute Clinic to get antibiotics and then I went to part of Louis' game.

Being there made me miss being at at the other two games even more.  I love the sunshine and fresh air and watching the kids play. I love watching my Lou even though he's not the best athlete, I see him getting better all the time.

Back home after the game I returned to a more relaxed mode and decided that it would be relaxing to engage in a  little galactic property battle.

Louis and I waged war for control of the galaxy and I was impressed, the boy bankrupt me hard and fast. I can tell he always chooses to play Sith. The dark side is strong in that one.

I'm feeling normal and ok. Taking my antibiotics and all my other medicine plus my Toradol. Back to work and life. This was just a momentary interruption and reset to regular life.

I'm ready to get back to it.


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Convalescent

I rested most of this weekend. I missed two soccer games, which while I was missing them didn't bother me at all. But then they were over and I didn't get to see things, and the recap wasn't the same and I realized how much I HATE MISSING THINGS.
I have a prescription for Toradol and I'm not exactly sure why or what it is. I looked it up, and it says it's an nSaid and I remember them saying to take it for pain and to keep me relaxed except I don't have any pain so why am I taking this? It says may cause drowsiness, I'm not sure if it's that or I'm just tired though.

I think this is the one point of clarity I didn't get at the hospital. I thought I asked all the questions but after several hours of being at the hospital plus having my mind numbed by daytime TV clearly I missed something.

I did make it out on Sunday. Because the Universe is a comedian, I've developed a sinus infection and had to trek over to Minute Clinic to get antibiotics and then I went to part of Louis' game.

Being there made me miss being at at the other two games even more.  I love the sunshine and fresh air and watching the kids play. I love watching my Lou even though he's not the best athlete, I see him getting better all the time.

Back home after the game I returned to a more relaxed mode and decided that it would be relaxing to engage in a  little galactic property battle.

Louis and I waged war for control of the galaxy and I was impressed, the boy bankrupt me hard and fast. I can tell he always chooses to play Sith. The dark side is strong in that one.

I'm feeling normal and ok. Taking my antibiotics and all my other medicine plus my Toradol. Back to work and life. This was just a momentary interruption and reset to regular life.

I'm ready to get back to it.


Tweet

Funtimes Friday

Friday morning at work I didn't feel quite right. In addition to just an overall feeling of "not good" I kept getting this pressure in my chest. It wasn't pain, it was more like....a central pushing on my chest. It was wrong. It didn't belong. My first inclination was to eat, because most of my maladies can be solved by getting my blood sugar righted. When that didn't work, I realized I was putting off what might be a problem and (against the advice of co-workers) I drove myself over to my GP.

I felt like it was probably anxiety. My mom had just been to the ER the night before and again two nights before that. I thought, "They're gonna give me some Xanax and send me to bed." Really I have to admit, I was into that thought. Xanax is kind of awesome. But when I got there, they took my blood pressure (120/80) but then heard my complaint and decided to do an EKG.

And this got me sent to the ER posthaste. My friend Dave drove me and what I learned when you show up with an EKG that looks like that, they take you to the part of the ER listed on the door above.

I didn't even know this part existed.

They came in pretty aggressive (which is good I'm sure) and I had to sign every waver on the planet, up to and including emergency open heart surgery. They slapped a nitro-glycerin patch on my back, shoved stuff into my veins to calm me and to lower my BP which had gone up to 138/20) and at that point, I was pretty worried.

I took a hospital selfie. Because that's how we do now.

I thought I was going to stay there, and that I'd likely not be feeling too great today.

But then my labs started coming back, and after a long annoying echocardiagram and an even longer vascular ultrasound, the cardiologist (I shall start saying MY CARDIOLOGIST) came in to talk about what was going on.

I had a small problem over a year ago that I spent a DAY in the cardiology lab getting looked at. The decided it was a small irregularity and nothing serious have a nice day. Except that no, that wasn't quite it. I didn't get all the information, or not what I needed to KNOW.

My problem I had yesterday was an exacerbation of a congenital condition that has apparently just cropped up - called the left branch bundle block.

Right now today my heart is fine. My heart muscle is healthy. I don't have any blockages. This is good news. They didn't say it was surprising for being 45 and overweight but I know it's true. What is wrong with my heart is that the left side has a bit of an electricity problem. It might get worse with time. It might not. Either side of your heart can have this, left is the worst to have it on. However, at this point in my life and at the severity I am experiencing it, it's just something to be watched and aware of.

It is very likely I will need a pacemaker some day. But maybe not. It just depends on if this degenerates or not.

I was quite scared at some points yesterday, but I left feeling better than I entered. I asked a ton of questions this time unlike last time I was getting my heart looked at. I admit it felt good to know this wasn't anything stupid I'd done wrong, like my lack of broccoli in my life hadn't caused this. The cardiologist said I could be a marathon runner and develop this. It's just lurking in your genes and you can't help it.

I owe a huge thank you once again to the Mofield family. Once upon a time I opened my eyes after surgery and there sat Amber, reading a book, she'd come so that I didn't have to wake up alone since Scott couldn't come with all of the kids. Yesterday Dave stayed with me all day and didn't leave me. I know he secretly wanted to feast on hospital food and hanging out with me was just an excuse, but it was fun to have someone to watch daytime TV with while we waited to find out the bad or good news.

We learned if you don't pay for it, it doesn't count as cheating.

Also that the Jerry Springer show now has strippers.

But I'm ok. And will be following up for a few more tests to establish a baseline for all future tests to be compared to. I also now will always keep a copy of my EKG in my cell phone, so all future healthcare professionals won't flip out when they run an EKG on me.

Thanks for all your well wishes on FB and otherwise. It means a lot.
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Funtimes Friday

Friday morning at work I didn't feel quite right. In addition to just an overall feeling of "not good" I kept getting this pressure in my chest. It wasn't pain, it was more like....a central pushing on my chest. It was wrong. It didn't belong. My first inclination was to eat, because most of my maladies can be solved by getting my blood sugar righted. When that didn't work, I realized I was putting off what might be a problem and (against the advice of co-workers) I drove myself over to my GP.

I felt like it was probably anxiety. My mom had just been to the ER the night before and again two nights before that. I thought, "They're gonna give me some Xanax and send me to bed." Really I have to admit, I was into that thought. Xanax is kind of awesome. But when I got there, they took my blood pressure (120/80) but then heard my complaint and decided to do an EKG.

And this got me sent to the ER posthaste. My friend Dave drove me and what I learned when you show up with an EKG that looks like that, they take you to the part of the ER listed on the door above.

I didn't even know this part existed.

They came in pretty aggressive (which is good I'm sure) and I had to sign every waver on the planet, up to and including emergency open heart surgery. They slapped a nitro-glycerin patch on my back, shoved stuff into my veins to calm me and to lower my BP which had gone up to 138/20) and at that point, I was pretty worried.

I took a hospital selfie. Because that's how we do now.

I thought I was going to stay there, and that I'd likely not be feeling too great today.

But then my labs started coming back, and after a long annoying echocardiagram and an even longer vascular ultrasound, the cardiologist (I shall start saying MY CARDIOLOGIST) came in to talk about what was going on.

I had a small problem over a year ago that I spent a DAY in the cardiology lab getting looked at. The decided it was a small irregularity and nothing serious have a nice day. Except that no, that wasn't quite it. I didn't get all the information, or not what I needed to KNOW.

My problem I had yesterday was an exacerbation of a congenital condition that has apparently just cropped up - called the left branch bundle block.

Right now today my heart is fine. My heart muscle is healthy. I don't have any blockages. This is good news. They didn't say it was surprising for being 45 and overweight but I know it's true. What is wrong with my heart is that the left side has a bit of an electricity problem. It might get worse with time. It might not. Either side of your heart can have this, left is the worst to have it on. However, at this point in my life and at the severity I am experiencing it, it's just something to be watched and aware of.

It is very likely I will need a pacemaker some day. But maybe not. It just depends on if this degenerates or not.

I was quite scared at some points yesterday, but I left feeling better than I entered. I asked a ton of questions this time unlike last time I was getting my heart looked at. I admit it felt good to know this wasn't anything stupid I'd done wrong, like my lack of broccoli in my life hadn't caused this. The cardiologist said I could be a marathon runner and develop this. It's just lurking in your genes and you can't help it.

I owe a huge thank you once again to the Mofield family. Once upon a time I opened my eyes after surgery and there sat Amber, reading a book, she'd come so that I didn't have to wake up alone since Scott couldn't come with all of the kids. Yesterday Dave stayed with me all day and didn't leave me. I know he secretly wanted to feast on hospital food and hanging out with me was just an excuse, but it was fun to have someone to watch daytime TV with while we waited to find out the bad or good news.

We learned if you don't pay for it, it doesn't count as cheating.

Also that the Jerry Springer show now has strippers.

But I'm ok. And will be following up for a few more tests to establish a baseline for all future tests to be compared to. I also now will always keep a copy of my EKG in my cell phone, so all future healthcare professionals won't flip out when they run an EKG on me.

Thanks for all your well wishes on FB and otherwise. It means a lot.
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A Funny Thing Happened to My Cardiac Test Results

So you might recall as they were trying to diagnose my Brain Cloud they sent me to get a bunch of tests on my heart.  I had an abnormal EKG and plus the brain cloud, so it was medical testing for me.

Well, first of all, when I went to my general practitioner about my foot, way back when but after the heart test, I said "So umm, what about all my cardiac results?" and he said "Oh, you know, they didn't send them to me."

He said he'd have them sent over and call me if there were any problems.

So that was MAY. Since then, I've pretty much just gone on with the litany of OTHER doctors and life and my foot and the brain cloud and whatever, I figured they would've called if there was a problem.

Imagine my surprise when my husband, at the doctor because he was having some chest pain (not a heart attack thankfully) was at the doctor and asked about my results. The doctor looked them up, they called me and I learned that, my results are - there are no results.

The report ACTUALLY says "the physical stress test was stopped because ..." and it ends.

The test wasn't stopped. It wasn't stopped AT ALL. They did ALL THE TESTS. And there are NO RESULTS.

I'm sort of flailing. I know without a doubt that this is going to be a huge fight, because my insurance company won't want to PAY to get them all re-done yet I am betting that is EXACTLY what needs to happen. And I'm not paying. The hospital probably gave my damned test results to someone else which means it's screwed up in their computer system.

What annoys me the most is, there could be something wrong and I'm just rolling around here like a fucking time bomb with no notice. It's such ridiculous incompetence I can't even see straight. How do they say they didn't do tests that they ABSOLUTELY DID DO.

The only answer to me is that, they simply either entered my info on someone elses, and vice versa, or they just entered the wrong info altogether for some unknowable reason.

Color me annoyed.
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A Funny Thing Happened to My Cardiac Test Results

So you might recall as they were trying to diagnose my Brain Cloud they sent me to get a bunch of tests on my heart.  I had an abnormal EKG and plus the brain cloud, so it was medical testing for me.

Well, first of all, when I went to my general practitioner about my foot, way back when but after the heart test, I said "So umm, what about all my cardiac results?" and he said "Oh, you know, they didn't send them to me."

He said he'd have them sent over and call me if there were any problems.

So that was MAY. Since then, I've pretty much just gone on with the litany of OTHER doctors and life and my foot and the brain cloud and whatever, I figured they would've called if there was a problem.

Imagine my surprise when my husband, at the doctor because he was having some chest pain (not a heart attack thankfully) was at the doctor and asked about my results. The doctor looked them up, they called me and I learned that, my results are - there are no results.

The report ACTUALLY says "the physical stress test was stopped because ..." and it ends.

The test wasn't stopped. It wasn't stopped AT ALL. They did ALL THE TESTS. And there are NO RESULTS.

I'm sort of flailing. I know without a doubt that this is going to be a huge fight, because my insurance company won't want to PAY to get them all re-done yet I am betting that is EXACTLY what needs to happen. And I'm not paying. The hospital probably gave my damned test results to someone else which means it's screwed up in their computer system.

What annoys me the most is, there could be something wrong and I'm just rolling around here like a fucking time bomb with no notice. It's such ridiculous incompetence I can't even see straight. How do they say they didn't do tests that they ABSOLUTELY DID DO.

The only answer to me is that, they simply either entered my info on someone elses, and vice versa, or they just entered the wrong info altogether for some unknowable reason.

Color me annoyed.
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Remember That Time I Had a Heart Attack?

Neither do I.

Well and that's overly dramatic, because they're not sure what exactly is going on. But I was being a responsible adult yesterday and having a physical with my general physician and as they are doing my EKG he FROWNS.
Then he looks at me, and back at the paper and says, "Have you been having chest pains?"

Ummmm. No.

He then says they are going to run the EKG for a few more minutes, have me lie down part of the time, have me sit up part of the time, all the while he is frowning.

Then he shows it to me.

You know how your heart beat on the EKG paper goes UP UP UP in beats? One of mine goes down. Which is bizarre. It's also a change from my last EKG which he pulled out of my file. So something has changed.

I looked it up, and it's either indicative that I had a heart attack, might have a heart attack or it's benign and means nothing at all. On many levels, that's just like everyone else on the planet.

But I'm kind of disconcerted for sure.

Next we'll do a stress test and figure out if I need to do more tests after that.

Stupid mortality. Stop knocking at my door. I got four tiny humans and one big one who need me.

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Remember That Time I Had a Heart Attack?

Neither do I.

Well and that's overly dramatic, because they're not sure what exactly is going on. But I was being a responsible adult yesterday and having a physical with my general physician and as they are doing my EKG he FROWNS.
Then he looks at me, and back at the paper and says, "Have you been having chest pains?"

Ummmm. No.

He then says they are going to run the EKG for a few more minutes, have me lie down part of the time, have me sit up part of the time, all the while he is frowning.

Then he shows it to me.

You know how your heart beat on the EKG paper goes UP UP UP in beats? One of mine goes down. Which is bizarre. It's also a change from my last EKG which he pulled out of my file. So something has changed.

I looked it up, and it's either indicative that I had a heart attack, might have a heart attack or it's benign and means nothing at all. On many levels, that's just like everyone else on the planet.

But I'm kind of disconcerted for sure.

Next we'll do a stress test and figure out if I need to do more tests after that.

Stupid mortality. Stop knocking at my door. I got four tiny humans and one big one who need me.

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