Mini Pretzels and Man Hands

My mini rant today is about the in flight snacks on airlines, specifically Delta. I told a close friend of mine that in Atlanta we're insanely brand loyal. We drink Coke, we fly Delta. So it's Delta on which I fly and Delta is the warm bosom of familiarity to me when I take to the skies.

Knowing their routines, their banter and chatter is comforting when you're racing through the skies at insane speeds and at 35k feet. I like knowing the DRILL.

But I find it annoying that on shorter hops their snacks are ABSOLUTE SHIT.

Once upon a time you got peanuts and a beverage. These were the dark, ancient times of air travel. It's possible these medieval times exist on other airlines but I don't know about it - as I'm from Atlanta and we fly DELTA.

In a perfect world, one just short of them serving you food, they offer the perfect accompaniment to their quite excellent coffee - BISCOFF cookies.

These cookies are so damned good they are almost a sin. They're like some delicious variation of what a pecan sandy aspires to be. Slightly caramelized, they are amazing both as an accompaniment to the delicious Starbucks coffee served or just dunked straight the hell in some black coffee.

On shorter hops,less than 90 minutes is the magic line in the sand based on my own travel experience, you get...MINI PRETZELS.

These are possibly the stupidest snack in the world. While you do have the option of getting a soda, water, juice or some more PRETZEL APPROPRIATE beverage with it - do you SEE how small this thing is? I think an adult doesn't actually have to chew them.

Additionally all the do is make you angry you didn't actually have a snack. Here's your pop, here's your  mini-pretzels for your giant man hands. Take it easy there GIGANTOR, don't eat them all at once!

I was thinking about this on the way home from Indy, about how this is one of the stupidest refreshment services I ever encounter. People might argue that they're free but I just paid a fortune in airfare no they aren't free they're calculated into the cost I can guarantee you that. So I'm PAYING for micro-pretzels. Nano-pretzels, if you will.

I think a huge problem with my level of dismay would be best stated as the complete lack of satisfaction they provide AS a snack. If someone had set out a huge tray of cheese and sliced a cheese cube in half and gave that to you, that's what eating these pretzels is like. It could be good, but it's just....eh.

Part of this whole "these don't satisfy anyone" may simply be due to the huge calorie deficit they represent.

Delta Airlines - Biscoff Cookies (2-pack)

Calories	120	Sodium
Total Fat	5 g	Potassium
Saturated	2 g	Total Carbs
Polyunsaturated	0 g	Dietary Fiber
Monounsaturated	0 g	Sugars

Biscoff cookies come to the table with 120 calories and a bit of fat. They aren't a meal but generally I land after a couple of hours and I'm not going to die if I don't eat soon. In fact there were plenty of instances where I didn't get to eat for hours (mostly due to other people being quite rude) and Biscoff cookies kept me alive, like some sweet delicious foreign hard-tack . 

Mini-Pretzels though? 

Calories	45	Sodium
Total Fat	1 g	Potassium
Saturated	0 g	Total Carbs
Polyunsaturated	0 g	Dietary Fiber
Monounsaturated	0 g	Sugars

This is the sort of snack that people who say things like "Oh dear I forgot to eat today" might consider a real snack. This is the devil's work, in snack form.

It's complete bullshit. That's what it is.

Luckily I was wise on my outgoing flight and ingested a chicken biscuit and a sweet tea because it's Atlanta, so when I landed in Indy I wasn't ready to eat the entire city. But on my return flight there were delays, there was so much WALKING, there was construction, there was nothing but annoyance on my sojourn north and I had no choice but to slam a bunch of popcorn chicken, fries and a peanut butter and chocolate shake from Sonic.

I hope you are happy with yourself, Delta.

Mini Pretzels and Man Hands

My mini rant today is about the in flight snacks on airlines, specifically Delta. I told a close friend of mine that in Atlanta we're insanely brand loyal. We drink Coke, we fly Delta. So it's Delta on which I fly and Delta is the warm bosom of familiarity to me when I take to the skies.

Knowing their routines, their banter and chatter is comforting when you're racing through the skies at insane speeds and at 35k feet. I like knowing the DRILL.

But I find it annoying that on shorter hops their snacks are ABSOLUTE SHIT.

Once upon a time you got peanuts and a beverage. These were the dark, ancient times of air travel. It's possible these medieval times exist on other airlines but I don't know about it - as I'm from Atlanta and we fly DELTA.

In a perfect world, one just short of them serving you food, they offer the perfect accompaniment to their quite excellent coffee - BISCOFF cookies.

These cookies are so damned good they are almost a sin. They're like some delicious variation of what a pecan sandy aspires to be. Slightly caramelized, they are amazing both as an accompaniment to the delicious Starbucks coffee served or just dunked straight the hell in some black coffee.

On shorter hops,less than 90 minutes is the magic line in the sand based on my own travel experience, you get...MINI PRETZELS.

These are possibly the stupidest snack in the world. While you do have the option of getting a soda, water, juice or some more PRETZEL APPROPRIATE beverage with it - do you SEE how small this thing is? I think an adult doesn't actually have to chew them.

Additionally all the do is make you angry you didn't actually have a snack. Here's your pop, here's your  mini-pretzels for your giant man hands. Take it easy there GIGANTOR, don't eat them all at once!

I was thinking about this on the way home from Indy, about how this is one of the stupidest refreshment services I ever encounter. People might argue that they're free but I just paid a fortune in airfare no they aren't free they're calculated into the cost I can guarantee you that. So I'm PAYING for micro-pretzels. Nano-pretzels, if you will.

I think a huge problem with my level of dismay would be best stated as the complete lack of satisfaction they provide AS a snack. If someone had set out a huge tray of cheese and sliced a cheese cube in half and gave that to you, that's what eating these pretzels is like. It could be good, but it's just....eh.

Part of this whole "these don't satisfy anyone" may simply be due to the huge calorie deficit they represent.

Delta Airlines - Biscoff Cookies (2-pack)

Calories	120	Sodium
Total Fat	5 g	Potassium
Saturated	2 g	Total Carbs
Polyunsaturated	0 g	Dietary Fiber
Monounsaturated	0 g	Sugars

Biscoff cookies come to the table with 120 calories and a bit of fat. They aren't a meal but generally I land after a couple of hours and I'm not going to die if I don't eat soon. In fact there were plenty of instances where I didn't get to eat for hours (mostly due to other people being quite rude) and Biscoff cookies kept me alive, like some sweet delicious foreign hard-tack . 

Mini-Pretzels though? 

Calories	45	Sodium
Total Fat	1 g	Potassium
Saturated	0 g	Total Carbs
Polyunsaturated	0 g	Dietary Fiber
Monounsaturated	0 g	Sugars

This is the sort of snack that people who say things like "Oh dear I forgot to eat today" might consider a real snack. This is the devil's work, in snack form.

It's complete bullshit. That's what it is.

Luckily I was wise on my outgoing flight and ingested a chicken biscuit and a sweet tea because it's Atlanta, so when I landed in Indy I wasn't ready to eat the entire city. But on my return flight there were delays, there was so much WALKING, there was construction, there was nothing but annoyance on my sojourn north and I had no choice but to slam a bunch of popcorn chicken, fries and a peanut butter and chocolate shake from Sonic.

I hope you are happy with yourself, Delta.

The Thing About Work Travel

I don't actually like to leave my family to travel. I HATE not being surrounded by my chaotic world of children and annoying husband. (He and I annoy the shit out of each other despite how much we love each other. I think that comes from being together so long.) I miss all the things that annoy me about all of them the moment I walk out the door.

It always reminds me of the line from "I Love You To Death" - which goes "I miss him so much, I forget everything I hate about him."

That's how I feel from the moment I step out the door until the moment I return.

Except for the one thing, I love to travel.

It's not the leaving or being alone that I covet, althought there is some value in that sometimes. There is some peace and self recharging that happens at thirty five thousand feet for sure.

I can drink coffee and no one is beside me stealing drinks, which is surely a luxury in this life of mine. I bitch about that a lot, but it annoys the living hell out of me. However, given the option I would always take having small humans to steal my coffee vs. not.

What I love is the sensory experience of being in a new place, or visiting one that isn't home. I want to soak up this new place on the Earth, it's sights and sounds, it's flavors. I want to experience it all.

I think I kind of walk around like a slack jawed tourist, finding amusement in childish things but I don't really care, it's way too much fun just to enjoy everything as it comes to me than to pretend to not.

People totally stared at me taking these pictures. DO NOT CARE.

That's the fun of it.

I do actually have to do work, and as it turns out my job is usually exactly the same I'm just sitting in a different place which is fine, I kind of think that's cool in a modern world sort of way.

But all in all, no matter how much fun I'm having being solo and having adventures I'm missing my humans a lot.

No matter how exotic your foot flush is, there's no place like home.

The Thing About Work Travel

I don't actually like to leave my family to travel. I HATE not being surrounded by my chaotic world of children and annoying husband. (He and I annoy the shit out of each other despite how much we love each other. I think that comes from being together so long.) I miss all the things that annoy me about all of them the moment I walk out the door.

It always reminds me of the line from "I Love You To Death" - which goes "I miss him so much, I forget everything I hate about him."

That's how I feel from the moment I step out the door until the moment I return.

Except for the one thing, I love to travel.

It's not the leaving or being alone that I covet, althought there is some value in that sometimes. There is some peace and self recharging that happens at thirty five thousand feet for sure.

I can drink coffee and no one is beside me stealing drinks, which is surely a luxury in this life of mine. I bitch about that a lot, but it annoys the living hell out of me. However, given the option I would always take having small humans to steal my coffee vs. not.

What I love is the sensory experience of being in a new place, or visiting one that isn't home. I want to soak up this new place on the Earth, it's sights and sounds, it's flavors. I want to experience it all.

I think I kind of walk around like a slack jawed tourist, finding amusement in childish things but I don't really care, it's way too much fun just to enjoy everything as it comes to me than to pretend to not.

People totally stared at me taking these pictures. DO NOT CARE.

That's the fun of it.

I do actually have to do work, and as it turns out my job is usually exactly the same I'm just sitting in a different place which is fine, I kind of think that's cool in a modern world sort of way.

But all in all, no matter how much fun I'm having being solo and having adventures I'm missing my humans a lot.

No matter how exotic your foot flush is, there's no place like home.