Now What?

I took my kitty to the vet last month, prepared to have to let her go - to put her down as she was so terribly sick. The vet pulled a miracle out of her bag and she got better, so much better it's been amazing. But in the last few days.........something terrible has happened.

Her eye, her BEAUTIFUL green eye.....has swollen up into a white and bloody mess.

I love my new vet. She's sweet, she's honest, she's compassionate. And she tells you what it's gonna cost.

The cat has glaucoma- that eye is probably basically destroyed due to the crazy pressure that is on it from the inside, and it's in danger of rupturing. If it ruptures, she is likely to die and VERY likely to need to be put down.

To remove the eye as it is, is $700. I mean seriously are you kidding me? 700 bucks to remove and eye and sew up the eyelid? Oedipus could do it for less I'm sure.

So today the husband is going to take her to the veterinary opthamologist to be 100% certain no stone has been unturned and that all of our options have been explored. She has been a part of my life for all of her 18 years and part of this family for the 13 that we have been one.

You might ask WHY? Well - because despite the fact that it'd be cheaper to just make the emotionally hard decision to put her down there is a lesson my son is learning through this. It's that life is valuable. Life matters. And that if you are the right kind of person, you do everything you can to preserve it and treat it as though it matters.

This isn't about to turn into some big RIGHT TO LIFE SPIEL - far from it. But....she's been part of our family, and your family matters. You don't throw family away when they become inconvenient. You don't discard your family when they aren't what you want them to be. You love them,and you cherish them - and even if they hang their butt outside the litter box instead of keeping it inside ........you treat them like family. It doesn't mean you like everything they do, or agree with their choices........

but it does mean that you love and respect them - and you give them those things in abundance.

************

post script -

The kitty does NOT Have glaucoma instead she has really high blood pressure. We'll be treating her high blood pressure and taking her back to the specialist next week. She anticipates the swelling in the eye will reduce, but LaVerne will remain blind in that eye. It's a loss- but may not have to come out anyway.

And we've shown our son that everyone in our family matters. No matter what.

Now What?

I took my kitty to the vet last month, prepared to have to let her go - to put her down as she was so terribly sick. The vet pulled a miracle out of her bag and she got better, so much better it's been amazing. But in the last few days.........something terrible has happened.

Her eye, her BEAUTIFUL green eye.....has swollen up into a white and bloody mess.

I love my new vet. She's sweet, she's honest, she's compassionate. And she tells you what it's gonna cost.

The cat has glaucoma- that eye is probably basically destroyed due to the crazy pressure that is on it from the inside, and it's in danger of rupturing. If it ruptures, she is likely to die and VERY likely to need to be put down.

To remove the eye as it is, is $700. I mean seriously are you kidding me? 700 bucks to remove and eye and sew up the eyelid? Oedipus could do it for less I'm sure.

So today the husband is going to take her to the veterinary opthamologist to be 100% certain no stone has been unturned and that all of our options have been explored. She has been a part of my life for all of her 18 years and part of this family for the 13 that we have been one.

You might ask WHY? Well - because despite the fact that it'd be cheaper to just make the emotionally hard decision to put her down there is a lesson my son is learning through this. It's that life is valuable. Life matters. And that if you are the right kind of person, you do everything you can to preserve it and treat it as though it matters.

This isn't about to turn into some big RIGHT TO LIFE SPIEL - far from it. But....she's been part of our family, and your family matters. You don't throw family away when they become inconvenient. You don't discard your family when they aren't what you want them to be. You love them,and you cherish them - and even if they hang their butt outside the litter box instead of keeping it inside ........you treat them like family. It doesn't mean you like everything they do, or agree with their choices........

but it does mean that you love and respect them - and you give them those things in abundance.

************

post script -

The kitty does NOT Have glaucoma instead she has really high blood pressure. We'll be treating her high blood pressure and taking her back to the specialist next week. She anticipates the swelling in the eye will reduce, but LaVerne will remain blind in that eye. It's a loss- but may not have to come out anyway.

And we've shown our son that everyone in our family matters. No matter what.

Kitty Came Home

With tons of tears running down my face I loaded up my tortoise shell kitty and took her to a vets office that I'd never been to. Seems kinda rotten, dying someplace you don't even know - but I guess no one gets to choose anyway.
I learned that they had a special room, just for pets that might be euthanized - and it had it's own exit - so you don't have to cart out your dead through the waiting room of healthy happy animals. I was escorted there without much to-do when I walked into the office sobbing - they seemed to know JUST who I was and led me right back.
The nurse came in and discussed some very preliminary blood work that would let them figure out if she had system failure vs. illness - and of course I agreed.
I didn't have any HOPE - but I agreed.

The took the blood out of her NECK - and I about threw up.

After about 30 minutes the vet came in with the test results.

None of her systems were failing - she was, obviously at 18 - an OLD CAT - but her systems were in better shape than they would've expected at her age. No what they found was a very very sick cat. Upper respiratory infection plus kidney/bladder infections had taken her perilously close to death.

With no other option, other than to just put her down, I agreed to IV fluids and antibiotics shots and surprise surprise, I brought home a meowing and pissed off kitty.

Due to her age, and the severity of her illness, it's still quite possible she will die. But if she gets better, the vet felt she would get BETTER and return to her quality of life she had before which was just fine.

So we'll wait. The vet says that if she isn't better in 3-4 days she might not get better and to be prepared for that. And so we are.

All I know is that today I made the worst decision of my life, to take the life of my friend - because I thought she was suffering. If I had been right, I know that it would've been the right thing to do for her. But I don't know how I would've ever lived with the overwhelming guilt of denying her life,and of watching the life leave her little furry body.

I got off this time. And I'd like to thank whomever for that.

I wasn't ready.

Kitty Came Home

With tons of tears running down my face I loaded up my tortoise shell kitty and took her to a vets office that I'd never been to. Seems kinda rotten, dying someplace you don't even know - but I guess no one gets to choose anyway.
I learned that they had a special room, just for pets that might be euthanized - and it had it's own exit - so you don't have to cart out your dead through the waiting room of healthy happy animals. I was escorted there without much to-do when I walked into the office sobbing - they seemed to know JUST who I was and led me right back.
The nurse came in and discussed some very preliminary blood work that would let them figure out if she had system failure vs. illness - and of course I agreed.
I didn't have any HOPE - but I agreed.

The took the blood out of her NECK - and I about threw up.

After about 30 minutes the vet came in with the test results.

None of her systems were failing - she was, obviously at 18 - an OLD CAT - but her systems were in better shape than they would've expected at her age. No what they found was a very very sick cat. Upper respiratory infection plus kidney/bladder infections had taken her perilously close to death.

With no other option, other than to just put her down, I agreed to IV fluids and antibiotics shots and surprise surprise, I brought home a meowing and pissed off kitty.

Due to her age, and the severity of her illness, it's still quite possible she will die. But if she gets better, the vet felt she would get BETTER and return to her quality of life she had before which was just fine.

So we'll wait. The vet says that if she isn't better in 3-4 days she might not get better and to be prepared for that. And so we are.

All I know is that today I made the worst decision of my life, to take the life of my friend - because I thought she was suffering. If I had been right, I know that it would've been the right thing to do for her. But I don't know how I would've ever lived with the overwhelming guilt of denying her life,and of watching the life leave her little furry body.

I got off this time. And I'd like to thank whomever for that.

I wasn't ready.

They're Not Just Pets

My 18 year old baby is having trouble walking, and is visibly unwell.
She's a tortoise shell cat that I got at a pet store in 1992. She's cantankerous, and doesn't like much of anyone, and hangs her butt over the litter box on a regular basis - missing it.
Her name is LaVerne and yes, she used to have a partner - Shirley. While LaVerne would scoff at most affection she LOOOOOOOVED Shirley. Once Shirley was at the vet and LaVerne howled for hours looking for her. If Shirley had found a particularly comfy hiding spot to sleep, and LaVerne couldn't find her - again with the howling, until we drug out the sleeping ball of fur to show her that Shirley was ok.

I held her in bed after she got fixed (it's cruel that they don't give animals pain killers after - how would YOU like a hysterectomy and no pain killers after?) and we both cried - big tears running down our faces.

She has a small worm which is really just pom-pom balls sewn together that as a kitten she'd fetch, and as an older cat she still loves. It's her baby and every time we move, we make a point to secure Wormy someplace that we can get him out immediately.

She knows that wherever Wormy is - that's home. Always has been. For 18 years.

Suddenly today, she cries when she walks, and she's walking poorly. She struggled down the stairs, had some water and struggled back up them and under my bed.

I took Wormy and slid him under the bed to her. I don't know if I am strong enough to make a decision to put her down. I guess I just hope if it comes to that, I'll do the right thing.

Until then, she has Wormy, a warm safe place and all my love. I don't know what else to do for her.

They're Not Just Pets

My 18 year old baby is having trouble walking, and is visibly unwell.
She's a tortoise shell cat that I got at a pet store in 1992. She's cantankerous, and doesn't like much of anyone, and hangs her butt over the litter box on a regular basis - missing it.
Her name is LaVerne and yes, she used to have a partner - Shirley. While LaVerne would scoff at most affection she LOOOOOOOVED Shirley. Once Shirley was at the vet and LaVerne howled for hours looking for her. If Shirley had found a particularly comfy hiding spot to sleep, and LaVerne couldn't find her - again with the howling, until we drug out the sleeping ball of fur to show her that Shirley was ok.

I held her in bed after she got fixed (it's cruel that they don't give animals pain killers after - how would YOU like a hysterectomy and no pain killers after?) and we both cried - big tears running down our faces.

She has a small worm which is really just pom-pom balls sewn together that as a kitten she'd fetch, and as an older cat she still loves. It's her baby and every time we move, we make a point to secure Wormy someplace that we can get him out immediately.

She knows that wherever Wormy is - that's home. Always has been. For 18 years.

Suddenly today, she cries when she walks, and she's walking poorly. She struggled down the stairs, had some water and struggled back up them and under my bed.

I took Wormy and slid him under the bed to her. I don't know if I am strong enough to make a decision to put her down. I guess I just hope if it comes to that, I'll do the right thing.

Until then, she has Wormy, a warm safe place and all my love. I don't know what else to do for her.