The Loathing of Steroids

It's been a while since I had to do a steroid pack. In the past I've had to take them for my asthma, I've had to take them for a joint pain on occasion. My usual side effect is that I become irritable. I'm cranky. I'm quick to cry, I'm quick to anger. I snap at people. My fuse is short and my response is disproportionate.
So that was what I expected when my rheumatologist prescribed a prednisone pack for this ongoing hip pain I have. I'm also supposed to go get an xray but I didn't get to it yet. I should go do that.

I'm not sure why but I'm having a host of side effects that drugs.com lists as "COMMON".

Shaking, ears thumping plus the world is in a tunnel, heart fluttering and racing, feeling wobbly and woozy, generally feeling BAD and wanting to sleep, these and other "I feel bad" symptoms are currently causing me to type with shaky fingers.

I'm not sure why, I don't remember having ALL of these side effects before, not like this. Is it because I lost weight? I feel like maybe it is. Unfortunately I suspect having extra body fat (don't worry it's nowhere near all gone) dispersed the drug more and I didn't get all of the effects so strongly. How do skinny people take this drug and not fall over dead?

It's seriously kicking my ass the past two days.

I'm not a fan.

On the plus side, my hips don't hurt.

Yay?
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The Loathing of Steroids

It's been a while since I had to do a steroid pack. In the past I've had to take them for my asthma, I've had to take them for a joint pain on occasion. My usual side effect is that I become irritable. I'm cranky. I'm quick to cry, I'm quick to anger. I snap at people. My fuse is short and my response is disproportionate.
So that was what I expected when my rheumatologist prescribed a prednisone pack for this ongoing hip pain I have. I'm also supposed to go get an xray but I didn't get to it yet. I should go do that.

I'm not sure why but I'm having a host of side effects that drugs.com lists as "COMMON".

Shaking, ears thumping plus the world is in a tunnel, heart fluttering and racing, feeling wobbly and woozy, generally feeling BAD and wanting to sleep, these and other "I feel bad" symptoms are currently causing me to type with shaky fingers.

I'm not sure why, I don't remember having ALL of these side effects before, not like this. Is it because I lost weight? I feel like maybe it is. Unfortunately I suspect having extra body fat (don't worry it's nowhere near all gone) dispersed the drug more and I didn't get all of the effects so strongly. How do skinny people take this drug and not fall over dead?

It's seriously kicking my ass the past two days.

I'm not a fan.

On the plus side, my hips don't hurt.

Yay?
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But I Don't HAVE Arthritis

My knee situation finally flared up to the point that a cane or a crutch was required. No pain killer touched the pain (Loritab, how could you fail me?) and it was obvious something was seriously wrong.

It turns out that all those weeks ago when I was leaving Turner Field, and then again when I got off the plane in Houston, I was having an arthritis flair up.

Except, I don't HAVE arthritis. Well, I didn't. Now I do. I have a very small fracture in my femur that isn't likely to be causing my pain but the arthritis is the game changer.

It's the life changer.

My husband suffers through several DIFFERENT kinds of arthritis - auto immune disorders love him. I've got just one problem, osteoarthritis, in ONE knee. Pretty much he functions every day and I'm become dysfunctional.

I think that makes me the big baby in this scenario.

I am finally as of this weekend off of the cane, which I hurt too much to even hate or resent needing.  I started physical therapy Monday and learned all about the knee and the quadriceps. It turns out that the swelling of your knee when you have an arthritis flair up puts pressure on the quadriceps nerves and then that in turn causes your quadriceps to fail, which in turn puts pressure on your knee, which in turn causes more swelling.

You get the idea.

I'm not sure how keen I am on my othopedic surgeon though. I liked him before. This time he was like EH you have arthritis. Seriously dude I can't WALK. It's kind of a big freakin deal to ME. The weakness in the knee, the pain, I don't want ANY OF THIS.

He also pointed out that I'm fat. "Well, you're also extremely overweight."

Sigh you know I know that. Let me just fix that. Is there a pill? No I mean a pill that won't melt my heart valves? No? Then shut up.

I guess I didn't get the memo that being fat meant I was automatically going to get arthritis.
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But I Don't HAVE Arthritis

My knee situation finally flared up to the point that a cane or a crutch was required. No pain killer touched the pain (Loritab, how could you fail me?) and it was obvious something was seriously wrong.

It turns out that all those weeks ago when I was leaving Turner Field, and then again when I got off the plane in Houston, I was having an arthritis flair up.

Except, I don't HAVE arthritis. Well, I didn't. Now I do. I have a very small fracture in my femur that isn't likely to be causing my pain but the arthritis is the game changer.

It's the life changer.

My husband suffers through several DIFFERENT kinds of arthritis - auto immune disorders love him. I've got just one problem, osteoarthritis, in ONE knee. Pretty much he functions every day and I'm become dysfunctional.

I think that makes me the big baby in this scenario.

I am finally as of this weekend off of the cane, which I hurt too much to even hate or resent needing.  I started physical therapy Monday and learned all about the knee and the quadriceps. It turns out that the swelling of your knee when you have an arthritis flair up puts pressure on the quadriceps nerves and then that in turn causes your quadriceps to fail, which in turn puts pressure on your knee, which in turn causes more swelling.

You get the idea.

I'm not sure how keen I am on my othopedic surgeon though. I liked him before. This time he was like EH you have arthritis. Seriously dude I can't WALK. It's kind of a big freakin deal to ME. The weakness in the knee, the pain, I don't want ANY OF THIS.

He also pointed out that I'm fat. "Well, you're also extremely overweight."

Sigh you know I know that. Let me just fix that. Is there a pill? No I mean a pill that won't melt my heart valves? No? Then shut up.

I guess I didn't get the memo that being fat meant I was automatically going to get arthritis.
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Reminding Us Of Our Age

It's not that it's been a tough couple of weeks around here but it's been a tough couple of weeks around here. Some days I feel like my life occurs in intervals between when I'm pulling strings out of other people's butts. Those days get blurry and long, and I guess I usually think of things to write and then just never do. That's been the case lately but I had some time and thought hey, I could say some things.

That string thing is not a metaphor, FYI. Jump into my nightmare, the water is warm.

The husband has been having some health problems, which sent him to the hospital about a month (maybe two) ago. We were afraid he was having the dreaded fat guy in his 40s heart attack but in fact they said no, not a heart attack. Unfortunately, they didn't have any idea what it was. Just what it wasn't.

So this past week, on Friday, he went in for a heart cath to take a look at what was going on inside. I got the boys off to school then he and Julia and I went over to Gwinnett Medical for the big test.

Luckily, they had coloring books in the cardiac waiting area.

Because they were on hospital time and not human time, and because emergencies came in and they had to go before us, Julia and I had to leave and go get lunch. 

And this is where your heart starts to worry, if you're me. I hated leaving. I wanted to stay there because I felt in control there, even though I wasn't - of course. I took the girl to Taco Bell and there was food and it occurred to me that she and I have never once been out to lunch together.

It also occurred to me that this is what it felt like, to be solitary.

I'm not a solitary creature. As I picked up the boys, one by one, from the bus, and we waited, and had snacks, all I could think was "this is what it would be like" and I didn't like it not even a little.

It was finally over early evening. He said it was like a painful horror show. 

The result? Nothing. Nothing wrong with his heart, that's the good news. Something is wrong though still. 

Here he is in the aftermath. 

It still aches and hurts. I think I will freak out if they ever do that to me.

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Reminding Us Of Our Age

It's not that it's been a tough couple of weeks around here but it's been a tough couple of weeks around here. Some days I feel like my life occurs in intervals between when I'm pulling strings out of other people's butts. Those days get blurry and long, and I guess I usually think of things to write and then just never do. That's been the case lately but I had some time and thought hey, I could say some things.

That string thing is not a metaphor, FYI. Jump into my nightmare, the water is warm.

The husband has been having some health problems, which sent him to the hospital about a month (maybe two) ago. We were afraid he was having the dreaded fat guy in his 40s heart attack but in fact they said no, not a heart attack. Unfortunately, they didn't have any idea what it was. Just what it wasn't.

So this past week, on Friday, he went in for a heart cath to take a look at what was going on inside. I got the boys off to school then he and Julia and I went over to Gwinnett Medical for the big test.

Luckily, they had coloring books in the cardiac waiting area.

Because they were on hospital time and not human time, and because emergencies came in and they had to go before us, Julia and I had to leave and go get lunch. 

And this is where your heart starts to worry, if you're me. I hated leaving. I wanted to stay there because I felt in control there, even though I wasn't - of course. I took the girl to Taco Bell and there was food and it occurred to me that she and I have never once been out to lunch together.

It also occurred to me that this is what it felt like, to be solitary.

I'm not a solitary creature. As I picked up the boys, one by one, from the bus, and we waited, and had snacks, all I could think was "this is what it would be like" and I didn't like it not even a little.

It was finally over early evening. He said it was like a painful horror show. 

The result? Nothing. Nothing wrong with his heart, that's the good news. Something is wrong though still. 

Here he is in the aftermath. 

It still aches and hurts. I think I will freak out if they ever do that to me.

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Failing Dairy

So, of late I've had this stomach thing going on that's different from my USUAL stomach thing. Beyond the reflux and burning and whatever that I keep at bay with medicine, I've had this weird thing happen when I eat.

Sometimes when I eat, I will feel suddenly so full that I feel like I'm going to be sick. It occurred to me one night that, the exact feeling was that sensation that your food hasn't gone down right, that your stomach isn't emptying. The food seems to just SIT there, like I'm having some weird random bout of gastroparesis. The best way I can describe it is, you know the moments before the nausea but you know you ARE going to throw up?

That feeling.

It was hard to pinpoint at first. My first challenge was, I never eat LARGE meals. I just can't, I suppose related to my other stomach issues. So, my meals aren't that big so I should NOT feel like I just gorged at the buffet. Next it was just so random, it wasn't every meal it just seemed to pop up so randomly.

The first moment it popped up isolated that I pinpointed it was at work. I grabbed an ice cream out of the machine at work, and sat back down at my desk, nibbling and doing my thing when suddenly.........OH GOD YUCK my stomach went from hungry to overfull and bloated.

I told my friend Christine I had just had ice cream, and she immediately said DAIRY.

I considered it, and I meant to pay more attention but didn't for a couple of weeks. But I've been miserable on and off for a couple of days and then I decided I had to notice. In the morning after my breakfast yogurt, ugh misery.

Dairy.

I started reading about lactose intolerance. I'm giving it a maybe and decided that I would try to avoid dairy this weekend which I've already failed. Our mashed potatoes for dinner had butter and sour cream mixed into them, however they didn't bother me. I didn't put butter on my roll. I had pork loin, mashed potatoes and green beans and a roll, and no stomach problems at all.

So then. I HAD dairy but no problem.

This morning though as I was making the twins breakfast, I was pouring chocolate milk and took a drink to lower the level of milk in the cup (sure that's why), and within a few moments my stomach was UGH FULL.

My food intake as of that moment in time was two viactiv chews for my vitamin D and calcium, a glass of water, and that sip of chocolate milk.

Dairy.

I don't even know what to think but I'm going to figure it out and if I have to stop eating dairy I guess I will. It's a miserable feeling so I feel like it's a small sacrifice but man I will miss Greek yogurt because it's truly the best stuff ever for breakfast.

This is my surprised face. I don't know why. But it made me laugh.

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Failing Dairy

So, of late I've had this stomach thing going on that's different from my USUAL stomach thing. Beyond the reflux and burning and whatever that I keep at bay with medicine, I've had this weird thing happen when I eat.

Sometimes when I eat, I will feel suddenly so full that I feel like I'm going to be sick. It occurred to me one night that, the exact feeling was that sensation that your food hasn't gone down right, that your stomach isn't emptying. The food seems to just SIT there, like I'm having some weird random bout of gastroparesis. The best way I can describe it is, you know the moments before the nausea but you know you ARE going to throw up?

That feeling.

It was hard to pinpoint at first. My first challenge was, I never eat LARGE meals. I just can't, I suppose related to my other stomach issues. So, my meals aren't that big so I should NOT feel like I just gorged at the buffet. Next it was just so random, it wasn't every meal it just seemed to pop up so randomly.

The first moment it popped up isolated that I pinpointed it was at work. I grabbed an ice cream out of the machine at work, and sat back down at my desk, nibbling and doing my thing when suddenly.........OH GOD YUCK my stomach went from hungry to overfull and bloated.

I told my friend Christine I had just had ice cream, and she immediately said DAIRY.

I considered it, and I meant to pay more attention but didn't for a couple of weeks. But I've been miserable on and off for a couple of days and then I decided I had to notice. In the morning after my breakfast yogurt, ugh misery.

Dairy.

I started reading about lactose intolerance. I'm giving it a maybe and decided that I would try to avoid dairy this weekend which I've already failed. Our mashed potatoes for dinner had butter and sour cream mixed into them, however they didn't bother me. I didn't put butter on my roll. I had pork loin, mashed potatoes and green beans and a roll, and no stomach problems at all.

So then. I HAD dairy but no problem.

This morning though as I was making the twins breakfast, I was pouring chocolate milk and took a drink to lower the level of milk in the cup (sure that's why), and within a few moments my stomach was UGH FULL.

My food intake as of that moment in time was two viactiv chews for my vitamin D and calcium, a glass of water, and that sip of chocolate milk.

Dairy.

I don't even know what to think but I'm going to figure it out and if I have to stop eating dairy I guess I will. It's a miserable feeling so I feel like it's a small sacrifice but man I will miss Greek yogurt because it's truly the best stuff ever for breakfast.

This is my surprised face. I don't know why. But it made me laugh.

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So I Have This Thing On My Eye

Over the weekend, I had the uncanny feeling of an eyelash or some sort of soap + eye gunk thing going on in the corner of my eye. I wiped at it, and went to the mirror and tried to remove it. I figured it was one of the fabled "eye hockers" of my high school vernacular and it would come right out.

It wasn't.

It was attached to my eye. A little round weird thing. I was immediately sorry for trying to remove it. If it were on your face, or your arm, or butt, you'd squeeze the hell out of it and then dose it with some sort of drying chemical and probably antibiotic ointment.

This however. WHAT IS THIS? IT'S ON MY EYE OMG WHAT IS ON MY EYE?

It's bigger. You can't even see it unless I look over at my nose and then, only then is it actually visible. The rest of the time it's hiding in the corner under where the eyelids meet.

I am going to the eye doctor on Thursday, will get new glasses or at least new lenses cuz my glasses are awesome  and hopefully something not horrible can be done about my eye zit.

That's what I'm calling it unless someone comes up with a better name.
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So I Have This Thing On My Eye

Over the weekend, I had the uncanny feeling of an eyelash or some sort of soap + eye gunk thing going on in the corner of my eye. I wiped at it, and went to the mirror and tried to remove it. I figured it was one of the fabled "eye hockers" of my high school vernacular and it would come right out.

It wasn't.

It was attached to my eye. A little round weird thing. I was immediately sorry for trying to remove it. If it were on your face, or your arm, or butt, you'd squeeze the hell out of it and then dose it with some sort of drying chemical and probably antibiotic ointment.

This however. WHAT IS THIS? IT'S ON MY EYE OMG WHAT IS ON MY EYE?

It's bigger. You can't even see it unless I look over at my nose and then, only then is it actually visible. The rest of the time it's hiding in the corner under where the eyelids meet.

I am going to the eye doctor on Thursday, will get new glasses or at least new lenses cuz my glasses are awesome  and hopefully something not horrible can be done about my eye zit.

That's what I'm calling it unless someone comes up with a better name.
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