Divinity Inspired

When I was little there was a shop still open downtown that was a leftover from the days of bobbiesocks and saddle shoes. (The pic below is actually from there from the 40s)

It was a proper soda fountain and it had a jukebox that hadn't been updated in more than a decade. They did serve some odd sandwiches, the usual assortment of soda fountain drinks and snack type foods. But the thing that was the best there was the CANDY.

Mom and I didn't have a car so we'd walk downtown to go shopping while dad was at work. We'd go to the dime store (Woolworth's), the fabric store and anywhere else she needed to stop. For a treat, we'd go to Nick's.

At Nick's we'd get ONE of something because we weren't rich. I would choose a chocolate of some sort, probably a maple cream because his were truly the butteriest, meltiest maple creams ever made. My  mom would always choose divinity. We'd walk home together, later we'd be pushing Matt's stroller, and she'd talk about how hard divinity is to make and that was why she always got it there instead of making it.

One day I tried it and I was hooked. Divinity is a weird vanilla-sugar pillow of sweetness that is chewy and sticky and honestly it's just delicious when made well. When made poorly it's still really good.

This Christmas I decided I would make divinity.

True things that happened while making this yesterday.

1. I separated eggs with my hand like a damn chef on Iron Chef or Chopped. 
2. I made meringue for the first time ever - and it wasn't hard at all so what the hell is with people acting like that's a thing? Beat eggs. They fluff. 
3. I realized they were not shitting that it would've been easier with a STAND mixer.
4. Parchment paper is not wax paper. Ooops. I actually knew that, I just forgot which one I was using. I used the wrong one.

The recipe said that it might be too difficult with a hand mixer due to it would become very thick, and you have to mix for over ten minutes. I probably made the ten minutes but when my little cheapie hand mixer began to whine I called it. I was supposed to mix until it became no longer shiny - but honestly I couldn't go that long, I would've lost the mixer. 

I decided to pour it into a pan because I've always had divinity that was in a sheet and cut into squares and honestly this mixture was like fire hot velcro, you bring it up to hard ball stage before you drop it into the meringue. Getting this fiery mess into little pretty balls - I wasn't up to it. 

I chose the Betty Crocker recipe because it's always been my experience that if I don't know how to make something, the Betty Crocker version is for me. It said it had to sit for 12 hours and I was pretty disappointed into last night. It was more like taffy. I kept thinking, man, what did I do? I got the temperature right. Did I not get enough of the egg white into the bowl? Did I not make a big enough meringue (dude it was two eggs it would only get SO big).

WHAT DID I DO WRONG?

I woke up this morning, and while my coffee brewed I pulled out the pan, lined with misbegotten parchment paper, and SON OF A BITCH...

It's divinity.

I am so excited. It's not perfect like Nick's but it's my first pass at it. I am gonna try it again soon and it's going to be a lot better. I might even try to make little balls after all. 

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Divinity Inspired

When I was little there was a shop still open downtown that was a leftover from the days of bobbiesocks and saddle shoes. (The pic below is actually from there from the 40s)

It was a proper soda fountain and it had a jukebox that hadn't been updated in more than a decade. They did serve some odd sandwiches, the usual assortment of soda fountain drinks and snack type foods. But the thing that was the best there was the CANDY.

Mom and I didn't have a car so we'd walk downtown to go shopping while dad was at work. We'd go to the dime store (Woolworth's), the fabric store and anywhere else she needed to stop. For a treat, we'd go to Nick's.

At Nick's we'd get ONE of something because we weren't rich. I would choose a chocolate of some sort, probably a maple cream because his were truly the butteriest, meltiest maple creams ever made. My  mom would always choose divinity. We'd walk home together, later we'd be pushing Matt's stroller, and she'd talk about how hard divinity is to make and that was why she always got it there instead of making it.

One day I tried it and I was hooked. Divinity is a weird vanilla-sugar pillow of sweetness that is chewy and sticky and honestly it's just delicious when made well. When made poorly it's still really good.

This Christmas I decided I would make divinity.

True things that happened while making this yesterday.

1. I separated eggs with my hand like a damn chef on Iron Chef or Chopped. 
2. I made meringue for the first time ever - and it wasn't hard at all so what the hell is with people acting like that's a thing? Beat eggs. They fluff. 
3. I realized they were not shitting that it would've been easier with a STAND mixer.
4. Parchment paper is not wax paper. Ooops. I actually knew that, I just forgot which one I was using. I used the wrong one.

The recipe said that it might be too difficult with a hand mixer due to it would become very thick, and you have to mix for over ten minutes. I probably made the ten minutes but when my little cheapie hand mixer began to whine I called it. I was supposed to mix until it became no longer shiny - but honestly I couldn't go that long, I would've lost the mixer. 

I decided to pour it into a pan because I've always had divinity that was in a sheet and cut into squares and honestly this mixture was like fire hot velcro, you bring it up to hard ball stage before you drop it into the meringue. Getting this fiery mess into little pretty balls - I wasn't up to it. 

I chose the Betty Crocker recipe because it's always been my experience that if I don't know how to make something, the Betty Crocker version is for me. It said it had to sit for 12 hours and I was pretty disappointed into last night. It was more like taffy. I kept thinking, man, what did I do? I got the temperature right. Did I not get enough of the egg white into the bowl? Did I not make a big enough meringue (dude it was two eggs it would only get SO big).

WHAT DID I DO WRONG?

I woke up this morning, and while my coffee brewed I pulled out the pan, lined with misbegotten parchment paper, and SON OF A BITCH...

It's divinity.

I am so excited. It's not perfect like Nick's but it's my first pass at it. I am gonna try it again soon and it's going to be a lot better. I might even try to make little balls after all. 

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Heh-heh, You Said HARD CRACK

We've been promising Lil Satchmo caramel apples for a while, and since it's September and really getting to be time for fall treats to get underway, we decided to go ahead and make some.
Now you've made those easy caramel apples kits from the store - right? I mean, they are easy. You wrap the apple with a sheet of caramel, warm it up, pop in a stick and VOILA caramel apple! It's a rather nice treat!
But the husband, while shopping, discovered that our grocer was OUT of caramel apple kits - but there in produce they had a candy apple kit! So he picked it up.
I glanced at the box, but it didn't register - even when he mentioned that we needed to pick up a candy thermometer as I no longer have one.....it didn't register WHAT I was getting myself into.
Three words should've warned me - HARD CRACK STAGE.
That's real candy making, even if it comes outta a box, friends.
I am blessed. I have a Home Ec teacher for a mom, so I know soft roll from hard crack stages when it comes to making candy. Lil Satchmo was a little disappointed at how little he got to be involved, but I tried to lovingly explain that this process was going to involve hot molten lava and 5 year olds are not safe around such things.

So I let him stir when the temp was under 100 degrees, and then he contented himself stabbing the apples. Baby Birth of Cool helped out a bit.

And then when they were done, I proceeded with the hot molten lava candy of death.

Here is why candy making is a "lost art". It isn't because it is hard - it is not (if you understand basic principles of baking, in my mind candy falls into the baking category of cooking because of the strict adherence to instruction that is required). It is a lost art because it is a tremendous pain the ass. Do you know how LONG it takes to bring a big ass pot of goo up to hard crack stage? Good lord I could've done my nails and they would've DRIED! And I still would've had time to spare. It's because we are an impatient generation, and making candy is nerve wracking - you wait, and test and wait and test.....when it would just be easier to BUY it now wouldn't it?

But if you just go out and buy it, you don't get THIS.......

Delicious warm candy apples.

And here is a note - this box said it made 10 apples. I had 5 apples. NOT following instructions, I dipped each apple twice. Guess what - there was like a 1/4 inch of candy on each apple making them nearly inedible.

NEARLY inedible I say, not completely.

We had to have an emergency bath even though it was a late night, as all three boys were head to toe sticky red delicious candy mess.

Lil Satchmo was also the Candy Apple Statue of Liberty at one point in the evening.

And, for some unknown reason, I got the apple with a worm. A cooked worm who apparently met his demise in the pot of candy lava. It was fairly revolting. But the candy was still good.

Heh-heh, You Said HARD CRACK

We've been promising Lil Satchmo caramel apples for a while, and since it's September and really getting to be time for fall treats to get underway, we decided to go ahead and make some.
Now you've made those easy caramel apples kits from the store - right? I mean, they are easy. You wrap the apple with a sheet of caramel, warm it up, pop in a stick and VOILA caramel apple! It's a rather nice treat!
But the husband, while shopping, discovered that our grocer was OUT of caramel apple kits - but there in produce they had a candy apple kit! So he picked it up.
I glanced at the box, but it didn't register - even when he mentioned that we needed to pick up a candy thermometer as I no longer have one.....it didn't register WHAT I was getting myself into.
Three words should've warned me - HARD CRACK STAGE.
That's real candy making, even if it comes outta a box, friends.
I am blessed. I have a Home Ec teacher for a mom, so I know soft roll from hard crack stages when it comes to making candy. Lil Satchmo was a little disappointed at how little he got to be involved, but I tried to lovingly explain that this process was going to involve hot molten lava and 5 year olds are not safe around such things.

So I let him stir when the temp was under 100 degrees, and then he contented himself stabbing the apples. Baby Birth of Cool helped out a bit.

And then when they were done, I proceeded with the hot molten lava candy of death.

Here is why candy making is a "lost art". It isn't because it is hard - it is not (if you understand basic principles of baking, in my mind candy falls into the baking category of cooking because of the strict adherence to instruction that is required). It is a lost art because it is a tremendous pain the ass. Do you know how LONG it takes to bring a big ass pot of goo up to hard crack stage? Good lord I could've done my nails and they would've DRIED! And I still would've had time to spare. It's because we are an impatient generation, and making candy is nerve wracking - you wait, and test and wait and test.....when it would just be easier to BUY it now wouldn't it?

But if you just go out and buy it, you don't get THIS.......

Delicious warm candy apples.

And here is a note - this box said it made 10 apples. I had 5 apples. NOT following instructions, I dipped each apple twice. Guess what - there was like a 1/4 inch of candy on each apple making them nearly inedible.

NEARLY inedible I say, not completely.

We had to have an emergency bath even though it was a late night, as all three boys were head to toe sticky red delicious candy mess.

Lil Satchmo was also the Candy Apple Statue of Liberty at one point in the evening.

And, for some unknown reason, I got the apple with a worm. A cooked worm who apparently met his demise in the pot of candy lava. It was fairly revolting. But the candy was still good.