The Long Dark Potty Training of The Soul

It's back to potty training.

Miles has been, well, just unbearable for a while. Weeks/days whatever. He's bored he's unhappy, he's pooping every ten minutes and DEMANDING to be changed and if you don't he MELTS DOWN.

Autism parents know very well that you will do anything in your power to STOP the melt down. The only thing better than stopping the melt down is preventing the melt down.

We've done a little of this and a little of that, but the toileting issue has boiled up.

Where we ARE with potty training is, well frankly we suck as parents. It's just EASIER to deal with diapers than with underpants, soiled clothes, soiled furniture etc. Except that it's not cheaper (by any means) and we suck because HE CAN DO IT.

He uses the potty ALL DAY at school. Of course, sometimes he has accidents. In what I'd like to call some sort of freakish hell of a policy, they put the SOILED garments in ziplocs and return them. Imagine clothing that has marinated in pee and poop then done the hot bus ride home waiting for you inside your child's backpack. DELIGHTFUL I tell you. My husband does laundry. Everyone should go-fund-me for him a get away I swear, the poor man.

Some people run loads of darks, loads of lights, loads of delicates. We have an extra type of load - POOP loads. Special runs of the washer and dryer just solely for those clothing items. "I need work pants washed." "Ok but I'm running a poop load right now." That's a sort of conversation we have around here.

That's autism life.

We decided last night that maybe, just MAYBE, he wants underpants. Maybe that's why the freak out as soon as he poops. With a "typical" child, once they can tell you they've gone you know you can start working on it because they have an understanding. So I'm taking it as a sign that Miles will literally shout POOP at me, that this is a readiness signal. He doesn't like it, he wants it gone.

So this morning when we got up, I put him in underpants.

I've gone to the bathroom with him about 10 times to wipe "a dab" of poop - apparently we can't just LET IT ALL OUT AT ONCE. We've watched videos while trying to let the poop out. I've made a point to stop everything and go immediately every time. Exactly like A GOOD PARENT SHOULD.

Somebody give me a cookie.

So I hear someone peeing behind me in the half bath and that's my signal to get up and investigate.

We're gonna figure this out little boy. I promise.

The Long Dark Potty Training of The Soul

It's back to potty training.

Miles has been, well, just unbearable for a while. Weeks/days whatever. He's bored he's unhappy, he's pooping every ten minutes and DEMANDING to be changed and if you don't he MELTS DOWN.

Autism parents know very well that you will do anything in your power to STOP the melt down. The only thing better than stopping the melt down is preventing the melt down.

We've done a little of this and a little of that, but the toileting issue has boiled up.

Where we ARE with potty training is, well frankly we suck as parents. It's just EASIER to deal with diapers than with underpants, soiled clothes, soiled furniture etc. Except that it's not cheaper (by any means) and we suck because HE CAN DO IT.

He uses the potty ALL DAY at school. Of course, sometimes he has accidents. In what I'd like to call some sort of freakish hell of a policy, they put the SOILED garments in ziplocs and return them. Imagine clothing that has marinated in pee and poop then done the hot bus ride home waiting for you inside your child's backpack. DELIGHTFUL I tell you. My husband does laundry. Everyone should go-fund-me for him a get away I swear, the poor man.

Some people run loads of darks, loads of lights, loads of delicates. We have an extra type of load - POOP loads. Special runs of the washer and dryer just solely for those clothing items. "I need work pants washed." "Ok but I'm running a poop load right now." That's a sort of conversation we have around here.

That's autism life.

We decided last night that maybe, just MAYBE, he wants underpants. Maybe that's why the freak out as soon as he poops. With a "typical" child, once they can tell you they've gone you know you can start working on it because they have an understanding. So I'm taking it as a sign that Miles will literally shout POOP at me, that this is a readiness signal. He doesn't like it, he wants it gone.

So this morning when we got up, I put him in underpants.

I've gone to the bathroom with him about 10 times to wipe "a dab" of poop - apparently we can't just LET IT ALL OUT AT ONCE. We've watched videos while trying to let the poop out. I've made a point to stop everything and go immediately every time. Exactly like A GOOD PARENT SHOULD.

Somebody give me a cookie.

So I hear someone peeing behind me in the half bath and that's my signal to get up and investigate.

We're gonna figure this out little boy. I promise.

Oh The Potty Training

We decided that we were going to bite the bullet and sacrifice our furniture & whatever else, and start potty training Miles again.

There have been numerous, very frustrating attempts in the past. Sometimes we'd try both boys. We always ran into the same roadblock. They were totally capable of understanding what the potty was for, but were also totally ok with going in their pants. So, they did.

Always we were defeated, consigned to spending in the neighborhood of $10 a day (give or take) on diapers and living a life where every time we went anywhere, I spent a great amount of time in the bathroom with my ten year olds and their diapers.

But two weeks ago, we went hardcore. Underpants were bought. And we put him in them. We showed him the Minions and said "Don't pee on the Minions!". His response was simply to shout the word minions back at us, that can be agree or disagree who knows?

Day one we had several accidents. However he also got up and went to the potty on his own, TWICE. I was overjoyed. SURELY WE WERE READY.

Well since then we've settled into a routine. Pullups on the bus and at night, and underpants all day. His initial tactic after the first couple of days, was simply not to go. So he'd wait for that pullup and then unleash hell. But slowly he's amending that behavior. School is using candy rewards and we'll probably add something like that at home.

There are no books for how to potty train your ten year old who you can't have a conversation with. Regardless though, I think we're going to get it.
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Oh The Potty Training

We decided that we were going to bite the bullet and sacrifice our furniture & whatever else, and start potty training Miles again.

There have been numerous, very frustrating attempts in the past. Sometimes we'd try both boys. We always ran into the same roadblock. They were totally capable of understanding what the potty was for, but were also totally ok with going in their pants. So, they did.

Always we were defeated, consigned to spending in the neighborhood of $10 a day (give or take) on diapers and living a life where every time we went anywhere, I spent a great amount of time in the bathroom with my ten year olds and their diapers.

But two weeks ago, we went hardcore. Underpants were bought. And we put him in them. We showed him the Minions and said "Don't pee on the Minions!". His response was simply to shout the word minions back at us, that can be agree or disagree who knows?

Day one we had several accidents. However he also got up and went to the potty on his own, TWICE. I was overjoyed. SURELY WE WERE READY.

Well since then we've settled into a routine. Pullups on the bus and at night, and underpants all day. His initial tactic after the first couple of days, was simply not to go. So he'd wait for that pullup and then unleash hell. But slowly he's amending that behavior. School is using candy rewards and we'll probably add something like that at home.

There are no books for how to potty train your ten year old who you can't have a conversation with. Regardless though, I think we're going to get it.
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Potty Training In Hell

It was going so well. I think that's the trick of it you see. We were using the potty. Yes we were in pull ups too but, the potty - we were using it.

But then something happened. I don't know what but suddenly, the girl doesn't want to use it. She tells me she's a baby. She tells me she's too little. Then we move on to discussions like "But don't you want to play with your leap pad? Only BIG GIRLS get to use a leap pad!" So then, she's a BABY big girl.

Over the past few days, she's gotten progressively more insistent that no, she's NOT using the potty. Then, she'll use it. Then, she won't. OMG MAKE UP YOUR MIND CHILD.

Yesterday I decided I was going to handle this like a parent of a typical child WHICH SHE IS. I was going to go COLD TURKEY into panties and by GOD we'd have progress. I was going to be positive and supportive and take her on a schedule. My first thought was, every 45 minutes to an hour.

30 minutes in, she pees in her panties.

We run frantically to the bathroom and talk about how we can't pee on the princesses! OH NO! We have to use the potty! I sit her on the potty and cheer her on.

Fail.

We change panties and I think, ok every twenty minutes. We'll go every twenty minutes.

15 minutes in, wets her panties.

By the time we'd gone through every pair of little girl panties we own she'd broken me. 

We're back in pull ups. Apparently SHE USED THE POTTY FOR DADDY TODAY! 

There is another phase to this process. Right now I'm in the I don't know what's next phase. 

But we'll figure it out.

Everyone always does.

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Potty Training In Hell

It was going so well. I think that's the trick of it you see. We were using the potty. Yes we were in pull ups too but, the potty - we were using it.

But then something happened. I don't know what but suddenly, the girl doesn't want to use it. She tells me she's a baby. She tells me she's too little. Then we move on to discussions like "But don't you want to play with your leap pad? Only BIG GIRLS get to use a leap pad!" So then, she's a BABY big girl.

Over the past few days, she's gotten progressively more insistent that no, she's NOT using the potty. Then, she'll use it. Then, she won't. OMG MAKE UP YOUR MIND CHILD.

Yesterday I decided I was going to handle this like a parent of a typical child WHICH SHE IS. I was going to go COLD TURKEY into panties and by GOD we'd have progress. I was going to be positive and supportive and take her on a schedule. My first thought was, every 45 minutes to an hour.

30 minutes in, she pees in her panties.

We run frantically to the bathroom and talk about how we can't pee on the princesses! OH NO! We have to use the potty! I sit her on the potty and cheer her on.

Fail.

We change panties and I think, ok every twenty minutes. We'll go every twenty minutes.

15 minutes in, wets her panties.

By the time we'd gone through every pair of little girl panties we own she'd broken me. 

We're back in pull ups. Apparently SHE USED THE POTTY FOR DADDY TODAY! 

There is another phase to this process. Right now I'm in the I don't know what's next phase. 

But we'll figure it out.

Everyone always does.

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