The Fortress of Solitude

I have some friends who live out in the Florida version of "the country." This means it takes me about an hour to get to their house and it's a long winding drive through orange groves and cattle pastures to get to the hilly center of the state where they live. Besides being a place to relax with friends, drink beer and watch non-kid friendly movies, it's also a place to sleep like the dead. If you have kids.....let me taunt you with it's beauty.
Picture this......
A room for you to sleep in, alone. The sheets are soft, the mattress is firm. You close the door, and silence wraps around you like a cocoon. A place where the only sound is the wind through the trees. No one is going to wake you up in the morning. And, when you do wake up, they will make you coffee and breakfast. You can sit around in your jammies for as long as you like. No butts to wipe, no sippy cups to fill, no endless tales of trains/dinosaurs/Buzz Lightyear to listen to. It is, in a word, Mommy Heaven. Or at least a place that all parents should have to escape to, just once in a while to recharge and renew their brains.

So Friday night, I drove up to the magical land for a fine evening of hanging out, movie watching and beer drinking. I crawl into the magical haven of rest late and completely sack out. At 2:45 I am ROUSTED from my bed by a blaring noise. BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM, THUNK THUNK BOOM BOOM.......and my first thought is that Scott has lost his mind and is playing the bass out in the band barn - at 2:45 am. I lay there for a minute considering this.....and became more and more annoyed. My peaceful spot is being interrupted. I decide to go outside and kick his ass. Or at least say something snarky. I consider that it's probably not my PLACE to tell him off as it's his house and all - but maybe I'll just ask him to turn it down.
I step out into the kitchen and all of the plates are rattling in the sink in the kitchen. GOOD GRIEF.
I check out the window to see no lights at the band barn.......and then I SEE it.
A car driving down their country lane slowly.......apparently rocking out.

I presume that it's kids out smoking a blunt and jamming, and that they imagine that they are being discreet. Annoyed, I crawl back into bed. My peace was shattered but I decide to reclaim it. Back into the realm of magical slumber I go.

And then, 45 minutes later.........apparently Evil Knievel drove up from Clearwater and is now doing some trick riding up and down the street. The noise is incredible. The screeching whine of a crappy motorbike going on.....and on........

I am not sure what evil led these Crackers to try to disrupt my FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE but it was annoying as hell. I am going to kick some Cracker ass next time.

And then I woke up and got my period.

Like I said, annoying as hell.

But the coffee was good.