Thursday, February 25, 2010
I also heard a lot of smack about how, at 34, my body wouldn't handle being pregnant as well as a twenty something's so I could expect hip problems during pregnancy.
19 months later as I was waddling around carrying TWO, my hip problems were much worse, and to add insult to injury - after I delivered they didn't go away. I had major problems, I'd get stuck in chairs and no not because of my ass. I couldn't make my hips MOVE to get up or down, and sometimes not to swing around to get out of the car. In short - my hips staged a rebellion.
It truly went on for years and I think it only just settled down in the last year or two. It's not been perfect but, soooo much better. I can't remember the last time I got stuck in the car - unable to make my torso move because my hips simply wouldn't cooperate.
But apparently now at 7 months we're back in full swing as I woke up at about 3 am in agony-on my left side and my left hip was screaming. As was I. My husband rushed to me and I assured him it wasn't the baby but the pain, my god the pain was unbelievable. It just kept getting worse and worse and I was struggling to move my leg - but it didn't occur to me it was truly "that hip problem" until he helped me get up and I walked around..........and it popped into place and the pain stopped.
This morning I coughed and I actually felt it move - which hurt A LOT.
So now what? Two more months of this. Great. I can hardly wait.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
I didn't know this when we went in, but learned it pretty quickly based on the number of groups that we saw there plus my husband had read about it.
They even do a special show called Circus of the Senses for hearing and sight impaired children.
It makes me a little weepy - some people's hearts are so big it amazes me.
Bello the clown was back with the group and I have to admit, his acrobatics are nothing short of heart stopping. I don't even know how someone who isn't a little tiny gymnast person DID the stunts he did - but he did and made it look effortless.
If you ever get the chance, this isn't the glitz and glam and themed stuff you get at Ringling. Don't get me wrong - I still like the big circus even though last time we went it was more like performance art than a circus.
But the BIG APPLE CIRCUS? Just WOW.
Monday, February 22, 2010
I learned that they had a special room, just for pets that might be euthanized - and it had it's own exit - so you don't have to cart out your dead through the waiting room of healthy happy animals. I was escorted there without much to-do when I walked into the office sobbing - they seemed to know JUST who I was and led me right back.
The nurse came in and discussed some very preliminary blood work that would let them figure out if she had system failure vs. illness - and of course I agreed.
I didn't have any HOPE - but I agreed.
The took the blood out of her NECK - and I about threw up.
After about 30 minutes the vet came in with the test results.
None of her systems were failing - she was, obviously at 18 - an OLD CAT - but her systems were in better shape than they would've expected at her age. No what they found was a very very sick cat. Upper respiratory infection plus kidney/bladder infections had taken her perilously close to death.
With no other option, other than to just put her down, I agreed to IV fluids and antibiotics shots and surprise surprise, I brought home a meowing and pissed off kitty.
Due to her age, and the severity of her illness, it's still quite possible she will die. But if she gets better, the vet felt she would get BETTER and return to her quality of life she had before which was just fine.
So we'll wait. The vet says that if she isn't better in 3-4 days she might not get better and to be prepared for that. And so we are.
All I know is that today I made the worst decision of my life, to take the life of my friend - because I thought she was suffering. If I had been right, I know that it would've been the right thing to do for her. But I don't know how I would've ever lived with the overwhelming guilt of denying her life,and of watching the life leave her little furry body.
I got off this time. And I'd like to thank whomever for that.
I wasn't ready.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
She's a tortoise shell cat that I got at a pet store in 1992. She's cantankerous, and doesn't like much of anyone, and hangs her butt over the litter box on a regular basis - missing it.
Her name is LaVerne and yes, she used to have a partner - Shirley. While LaVerne would scoff at most affection she LOOOOOOOVED Shirley. Once Shirley was at the vet and LaVerne howled for hours looking for her. If Shirley had found a particularly comfy hiding spot to sleep, and LaVerne couldn't find her - again with the howling, until we drug out the sleeping ball of fur to show her that Shirley was ok.
I held her in bed after she got fixed (it's cruel that they don't give animals pain killers after - how would YOU like a hysterectomy and no pain killers after?) and we both cried - big tears running down our faces.
She has a small worm which is really just pom-pom balls sewn together that as a kitten she'd fetch, and as an older cat she still loves. It's her baby and every time we move, we make a point to secure Wormy someplace that we can get him out immediately.
She knows that wherever Wormy is - that's home. Always has been. For 18 years.
Suddenly today, she cries when she walks, and she's walking poorly. She struggled down the stairs, had some water and struggled back up them and under my bed.
I took Wormy and slid him under the bed to her. I don't know if I am strong enough to make a decision to put her down. I guess I just hope if it comes to that, I'll do the right thing.
Until then, she has Wormy, a warm safe place and all my love. I don't know what else to do for her.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
BY GOD THERE WILL STILL PRESENTS THOUGH!
I for one wanted a Hello Kitty Keyboard, and my Valentine came through !
Yeah, I'm 41. SHUT UP!
I also got a special present from the kids. What do you suppose that they want?
They are so thoughtful. In all fairness, I kinda wanted this too. I can't cook but BY GOD I can bake.
And I got this.
Bizarre isn't it. I'm A+ though so I'm afraid to drink it.
And most importantly, I got the husband his life long dream of a gift........a giant three wick candle (the least appropriate gift for a man on the planet).
And the boy picked out this for him. Because nothing says I Love You like ZOMBIELAND! Those were the ValenTimes around here. Hope yours were chocolate covered butter goodness filled as well!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
I think that they liked it.
If you need me this weekend, I'll be hibernating.......
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Monday, February 08, 2010
Sunday, February 07, 2010
The original Babyland was set up like an orphanage - and your children would go in to see all the happy beautiful dolls just waiting to be adopted and to be part of your family. Little rooms like a nursery, a preemie ward (ok slightly creepy-but points for realism) and school room, and a playground increased the happy little people experience.
It was small, but rather lovely in it's way.
The new place still has the cabbage patch, and they do deliveries but - they didn't set up all of the sweet little vignettes to make their new "hospital" like an imaginary place.
It's a big fucking gift shop.
The entire place is open - one huge room. With displays of dolls sitting around, but not the way they used to be - as though they live there. They're just on display. The entire "adoption" thing is lost to me now. It's just a place to go buy dolls.
Maybe they aren't done. Maybe it's going to change. But seriously. LAME.
I'm in no hurry to go back and the other place was a fun place to run up to, fresh mountain air, nothing to do on a Saturday - let's go to Babyland. The kids would play and we'd watch the creepy little dolls be born and it was - nice. Wholesome. I don't know.
It's OK now. But they kind of washed out the magic in their new build. I hope they figure out how to put it back.
Saturday, February 06, 2010
You know the kind - where you ALMOST need your windshield wipers but cannot do without them? It was about this same time that it occurred to me that I was going to throw up. We stopped in NC for dinner at Cracker Barrel (friend to travellers everywhere) and I ordered grilled chicken, hot tea (by now I had chills), apple sauce and something else. I dunno what.
I had some tea, some applesauce and went to the bathroom and puked them up.
At which point I noticed that Cracker Barrel no longer has out their fancy soap and lotion in the ladies room. I know it's a cost cutting thing, but man, when you are on a road trip - those were sort of nice pick me ups, at least to me. I miss them.
We got to Chapel Hill about bed time and found it covered in icy snow and zonked out. I apparently kept the husband up all night moaning, shivering and sweating. He got me some Tylenol and I did sleep some better after that.
Our appt went well at UNC - and we got our medicine for the boy (or placebo) but YAY we found out that after this study we can participate in the NEXT one where he is GUARANTEED to get the enzyme. So, yes, we're IN for that one. I'd like to see if we can't get the OTHER boy in that one.
Everyone kept telling me how terrible I looked. Which is probably a sign that I looked really, really terrible.
After that we went to the 501 Diner which is a place where I am positive that XTA took me for breakfast like 13 years ago. It was still really good. I had an English muffin. And some tea.
And their toilets and floors are very clean - I know this because I threw up in their bathroom.
I want to go back there and eat food - without throwing up.
To add to my vomit highlights I'd like to add that I also threw up in an intersection - hanging out the car window - showering puke all over three lanes of traffic and my car,which my sweet husband cleaned up off the outside and some of the inside of the car. He laughed as he did it, which made me laugh and feel less stupid and helpless. No one is as brave in the face of vomit as my husband. I have 12 years of proof.
I also threw up at the South Carolina rest area- but it wasn't as clean.
He took me to the doctor when I got home, and VOILA my strep test turned colors the second they put it in the tube. Yes. Strep throat. So a ZPAC and another day's worth of sleep and I'm not completely better but MAN am I better.
And the most important thing - the boy got his medicine. We don't know if it's the placebo or not. But this isn't about us. Well it is. But it isn't. Because we know we can get the enzyme in a few weeks for sure regardless. If this works - it could make all the difference in my little boy's life - it could change his world.
If it works - it could change a lot of worlds. So we accept huge inconvenience and travel - and expense, and we accept that we might get the placebo.
And I would puke every meal I ate for the rest of my life, if that was what it took to make my little boys better.