A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.

Friday, September 30, 2005

Silly List Demanded From Sarah

Okay not that anyone cares........
1. Legal First name? Bridgette
2. Were you named after anyone? Nope.
3. Do you wish on stars? Sometimes, I usually hum that song from the Music Man if I do.
4. When did you last cry? I have no idea.......probably yesterday.
5. What is your favorite lunch meat? Sarah Lee Honey Ham
6. What is your birth date? 10/09/1968
7. Whats your most embarrassing CD? Ummm........Jon Secada.
8. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? I totally rock, of course.
9. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Does the Pope wear a funny hat?
10. What are your nicknames? Gidge
11. Would you bungee jump? Been there done that.
12. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Nope
13. Do you think that you are strong? yup
14. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Peanut Butter and Chocolate
15. Shoe Size? 9 1/2
16. Red or pink? Red or Pink WHAT?
17. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? My fat.
18. Who do you miss most? My grandpa.
19. What color pants and shoes are you wearing?Ugly purple shorts and barefoot.
20. What are you listening to right now? Theme from Thomas the Tank Engine
21. What did you eat for breakfast? Sausage biscuit from Steak and Shake at 4pm
22. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Raw Umber
23. What is the weather like right now? Africa Hot
24. Last person you talked to on the phone? My friend Tim.
25.The first things you notice about the opposite sex? Eyes.
26. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Quite
27. Favorite Drink? Beer beer beer.
28. Hair Color? Natural brown righ tnow.
29. Do you wear contacts? Sometimes
30. Favorite Food? Fettuccine alfredo with Chicken
31. Last Movie You Watched? HOME ON THE RANGE
32. Favorite Day Of The Year? I have no opinion.......maybe Christmas.
33. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? Happy - the end of Sense and Sensibility is like the happiest thing I've ever seen.
34. Summer Or Winter? WINTER
35. Hugs OR Kisses? Both
36. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? Red Velvet Cake
37. Living Arrangements? Apartment
38. What Books Are You Reading? Reading? What is this reading you speak of?
39. What's On Your Mouse Pad? Aramark Support Center Info - from my old job.
40.What Did You Watch Last night on TV? Thomas the tank Engine.
41. Favorite Smells? Babies
42. Favorite junk food? Carmel popcorn or caramel anything.
43. Rolling Stones or Beatles? BEATLES
44. What's the farthest you've been from home? Germany.

Chuck E Cheese - Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter

You know, I really am not a Chuck E Cheese expert. So I sort of say that the chaos of the evening was NOT 100% my fault. First of all, I had never been except on a Tuesday or Wednesday night. I did not know that the portals of hell opened up on Thursdays to release demon spawn throughout the Chuck E Cheese universe.
Apparently, watching your children within the walls of Chuck E Cheese if a frowned upon parental activity.
But I digress.
Louis LOVES Chuck E Cheese. We had his second birthday party there last year just out of lack of ideas of where to go, and it went very nicely, the place was empty, we had pizzas, cake and ice cream and we went home with no mess to clean up.
So, we had originally planned to be in our own house this year by birthday time, and Louis had desperately wanted "a party in his own backyard". Since mommy and daddy BLEW that by not being able to AFFORD property in Tampa, we did what we felt was the next best thing, we booked Chuck E Cheese again.
From Louis's point of view, I think the evening rocked. Games, rides, pizza, kids to play with, presents.......seriously. He had a Thomas cake with an engine that went AROUND on the top of the cake. How COOL is that? But from a parenting point of view.......dear god. I kept freaking out while he was playing.....I'd lose sight of him for a second and then CRAP I'd nearly panic - WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS HE?
He climbed up in those DAMN tunnels and didn't come down forever which scared the hell out of me.....was someone hurting him up there? Was he stuck? Eventually down he came smiling and laughing.
I think the noise in the place was a little overwhelming too......how can ANY PLACE be THAT LOUD?
But after we said our goodbyes (Ian and Claudia had to leave early because those sweet babies go to bed early, and Andy left soon after - Louis was very happy to see all of them though) we packed up the car, gave Lily our tickets because we were NOT going to stand in that big line to get a plastic crappy toy and we went home. (run on sentence I know).
About 20 minutes after we got home........Miles started puking his guts out. Chocolate cake, chocolate ice cream and milk...........all over my beige carpet. Two hours later, Louis started puking. He started out by puking all over me in bed. Two hours later.....(right on cue) Charlie started up. I've never been so happy to see anyone get the dry heaves as I was when these kids ran out of junk to puke up.
So today we've languished in bed....plagued by 102 fevers, post puke yucky feelings.
Mommy is washing all of the bedding as everything we own was puked on at some point in the night, including all pillows and blankets. And towels. ALL towels were used in the war on puke.
I had to burn a vacation day from work to take the day off.
Tomorrow I was supposed to do the race for the cure.
I am not thinking that will work out.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

With Regards to Dr Zaritsky

Doctor Zaritsky, I love you.
You performed two root canals on me today.
Over five years ago I had a root canal done. I thought I was in MARATHON MAN by the time it was done. It was like the tortures of the damned. It was like some sort of cruel joke, that wasn't funny to anyone (except the dentist in Little Shop Of Horrors). And throughout it all, on the radio I had to listen to the coke-head DJ boyfriend of my roommate Jeff on a lame-ass oldies station (more torture).
So today, I went to see Doctor Zaritsky down in South Tampa. It's quite a drive from my house, really. I went with tears in my eyes, to such an extent that someone I work with offered to go with me and hold my hand (name withheld to protect the innocent). I declined and was determined to be a big girl about it.....he had assured me that the technology had improved vastly over the years and it would take approximately 20 minutes per tooth.
And although I think I trembled so hard I about went bonkers while in the chair I HAVE to admit it.
It was fine.
No worse than getting a deep filling.......I didn't feel anything, no extra shots of novacaine were required (previously, MULTIPLE shots of novacaine KEPT having to be administered and they kept NOT WORKING).
He was awesome, kept telling me what he was doing - let me know how far along he was "We're halfway done, I'm done drilling" etc...which was reassuring.
And now, It's about 5 hours later and DUDE I feel fine. I took a couple of Tylenol and I am really okay.
Last time, I swear my mom had to come all day and I missed work.
I love progress in medicine.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

More Things About Me

I keep looking at Sarah and Becky's Lists.
They have better lists than I do, and everyone is overly concerned about the food from the ground thing.
Okay, so here are some more things about me that you may or may not know......
  • I lied, I CAN carry a tune. I can also sing the alto line of most of Mozart's Requiem.
  • I have had two boyfriends named Simon.
  • I always have gotten a lot worse press than my behavior actually warranted - Ray Lewis I feel your pain.....
  • Most people think I am mean. My husband thinks I am meaner than probably anyone else he knows. Perhaps I am meanest to him.
  • I once slept with someone who sat next to me in band in college, because they leaned over and said "you smell like soap- like pink soap." Nothing in my life had ever made me feel so girly.
  • I have always regretted the way I broke up with my previous engagement.
  • I am tired all the time.
  • My favorite book is Cat's Eye by Margaret Atwood. I am Elaine. If you ever really want to know me, just read the book.
  • I can never be myself when I am at work because no matter what I'm the boss and that annoys me. I like a lot of the people there and would really like to be friends. But I am not paid to be anyone's friend.
  • If I had not met Sarah and Becky I might be a stark raving lunatic by now.
  • My grandfather was mayor of the small town I grew up in. That's like being bizzaro world royalty. Everyone knows your business, and is judgmental about everything you do. It sucks.
  • We used to camp at Fort Desoto every year before we moved here. Since we moved here we never camp.
  • I like tornadoes better than Hurricanes.
  • If I were younger I would have a crapload more kids.
  • I let my kids eat candy.
  • I am definitely a Post 9/11 consumer - the "eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we may die" sort.
  • I hope that someday people think that I am a nice person and not a mean person - but I don't know if it's actually IN me to be nice. Successful people are rarely nice.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

I am terribly melancholy lately....BUSH understands (the group not the Prez)

Letting the Cables Sleep
You in the dark
You in the pain
You on the run
Living a hell
Living your ghost
Living your end
Never seem to get in the place that I belong
Don't wanna lose the time Lose the time to come
Whatever you say it's alright Whatever you do it's all good Whatever you say it's alright
Silence is not the way
We need to talk about it If heaven is on the way If heaven is on the way
You in the sea
On a decline
Breaking the waves
Watching the lights go down
Letting the cables sleep
Whatever you say it's alright Whatever you do it's all good Whatever you say it's alright
Silence is not the way
We need to talk about it If heaven is on the way
We'll wrap the world around it If heaven is on the way If heaven is on the way
I'm a stranger in this town
I'm a stranger in this town
If heaven is on the way If heaven is on the way
I'm a stranger in this town
I'm a stranger in this town

I love my Job

So have I ever mentioned how much I love my job? I really do. I think it's because I like to be in charge and tell people what to do. I do a lot of different things, at my place of business but mostly, I just tell people what to do. It's kind of like being a general. You don't ACTUALLY do the work a lot of the time, and it bites you in the ass a LOT when you count on the other people to do things because they fuck it up don't do it right.....but still.
I love my job.
A lot of what I do is assessment and reaction. "What is going on here?" and then "Let's do X to fix it".
Pretty cool job, eh? I feel bad for my boss though, his job seems to be to run through mine fields left by his employees.
I swear, I don't MEAN to drop mines around ........

Things About Me

Sarah and Becky made their big lists. I think that I cannot make such a big list because I do not spend that much TIME Thinking about me, truthfully. This is not because I am some sort of humble saint - rather it is because in most things I am sadly inattentive to details.

But anyway - my list looks something like this:

  • I was born a poor black sharecropper - okay that's a joke, I was born in Terre Haute Indiana.
  • I am the oldest of three.
  • There are 10 years between all kids in my family, 36,26 and 16 are our ages.
  • I am incredibly depressed about turning 37. I thought 30 was bad, but didn't care about the ages in between. Now I'm filled with dread....
  • I have been to Iceland, Luxembourg, Germany, Austria, France Canada, and Italy
  • In the US I've been to IN, KY, TN, GA, NC, SC, MA, NJ, FL, NV, UT, WA, PA, OH, MI, IL, MN, WI- I think that this is all.
  • I do not like to eat food that was grown in the ground. I find this to be a problem, since all food is grown in the ground. My solution is to eat only processed foods that have all essence of the earth removed from them.
  • I do not like to eat foods that are all mixed up in anyway - I like ingredients to be separate and identifiable (yes I have issues).
  • I have been bungee jumping (it was a bungee swing - same idea except they LAUNCHED us)
  • I have been in love twice.
  • I mostly don't pay attention to anything, and I can't explain to you why.
  • I make decisions very quicky, and don't waver on them - I trust my instincts.
  • I believe that I am addicted to coffee.
  • Even though I pretend that I don't care, it always hurts my feelings when people don't like me.
  • I hold grudges. For years. Ask Jimmy Martin.
  • I never really wanted children until a doctor told me I couldn't have any.
  • My girl names I had picked out where Margaret Anne and Olivia Suzanne.
  • I thought labor was a breeze, I did however have drugs.
  • I love gangster movies but never get to watch them anymore because I have children.
  • I do not let my children watch any television that isn't educational or children's programming. I never let my children watch any sort of violence, not even the news.
  • I believe Baby Einstein products to be bullshit yet I still own them and make my kids watch them - it never hurt ANYONE to hear some Bach. OR Beck - but that's a different post.
  • I always thought twins were cool, I can't believe I produced some.
  • Twins do not actually run in my family, but there is some history of females in the family "losing" twins - which was probably common in the past. So I suppose that they DO run in the family. Just no living twins.
  • I didn't use birth control for the first 6 years of my relationship with Scott.
  • The only two times I became pregnant were nights that we ate Sushi.
  • I resent the fact that even if I lost 100 pounds I will still have this big ass FRAME for a body. I can never be petite.
  • I dislike nearly every aspect of my body and face, it's not self hate so much as I wish it were put together differently. My face specifically. I would spend a fortune on plastic surgery, but I'm too scared of surgery.
  • I love my children fiercely and find them to be beautiful. No matter what else happens in my life, my children are the center of my universe.
  • I do not like to gamble.
  • I hate clothes shopping and do not try on clothes, I just buy the biggest one they have and let it be baggy.
  • I burst into flame if I spend too long in the sun.
  • I love to read, but haven't read anything in over a year.
  • I miss my friends as much as I miss my family, it is hard to live 1000 miles away from everyone who knows and loves you.
  • I cry all the time since I had kids. Commercials, songs, etc. It's crazy. I cry driving to work and I cry coming home - every day because of some song on the radio.
  • I think two of the most sentimental songs I know are BLACK by Pearl Jam and LETTING THE CABLES SLEEP by Bush.
  • I like country music, and acid metal. And Jazz. I like all forms of music.
  • I cannot carry a tune but sing all the time in the car like a rock star.
  • I always wanted to sing like Cass Elliot and was very annoyed in college to be made to sing soprano in choir.
  • I can bake but not cook.
  • I cannot sew, but wish I could knit.
  • I am not crafty, and do not make crafty things.

Friday, September 16, 2005

What Happens in Vegas....Stays In Vegas

So I went to Vegas on Business with Kurt Corning who is the Supervisor of Internet where I work. He's far cooler than I - as you can see. This is an ugly big nosed showgirl (who was as wide as one of my thighs) that we met in Harrahs. The lady at Harrah's suggested we use this for our Christmas Card.
I believe this would be difficult to explain to our spouses.....

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Slippery Noodle Cheese Fries

So It's less than 12 hours before I fly away to Las Vegas for three days on business. I am preparing to watch the second half of the Colts Game which should REALLY annoy my offspring as they already had an afternoon full of Bucs football. Miles has fussed and cried about everything since we came home from Sarah's. I halfway think he just liked having other little kids around. Regardless nothing seems to make him happy so I ended up just giving him some darn Tylenol. Who knows maybe something hurts.
My dinner effort this evening was completely HEAT AND SERVE as I am feeling very unambitious. I still need to pack. But what did accomplish is to make a very respectable replica of the Cheese Fries one can get at the The Slippery Noodle up in Indy, which is a blues bar and extra cool joint. I really miss the Noodle. There were many nights that it was the starting off point, or ending up point for us going out back in my single girl days. Sometimes it was both.
Once my girlfriend and I called my THEN boyfriend to come get us, that we were too hammered to drive home. By the time he got to the Noodle we were making out with other guys. He was not amused. Oh well, he's an Ex for a reason.
Anyway, they made these Cheese Fries there. They were not good. There were just OreIda crinkle cut fries, deep fried and had some shredded cheese melted on them by a microwave. But man, there were days that it was some of the best food I'd had that day.
I truly miss the Noodle.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Football Brownie Adventure

So I told Sarah that I was being used by Martha Stewart to create a football shaped dessert for her Bucs football cookout tomorrow. Martha Stewart has sent out this evil spell and has caused me to bake. Damn you Martha! Martha often forces me into baking situations through her powers.
First we had to find the recipe - which I found easily on Betty Crocker.
Then, I had to make it.
With Louis' fine help stirring I think we found our way.
I had to improvise on the cookie cutter I think an Easter Egg was a good sub!
First you are supposed to cook it in a pan lined with aluminum foil and then take them out of the pan - as so.

Next came the cutting - which was a little tricky as even though I made the "dense" brownie recipe it was still very thick.

But I think that all in all.......they SORT of look like footballs! Sarah you better eat some!

Friday, September 09, 2005

Adventures in Potty Training - Continued

So Louis has made a lot of progress. I really do have to say that there is SOMETHING to be said for waiting until they are very communicative before you start. It's so much easier since we can TALK about this....we can say what we want and he can say what he wants so it's nice.
However, all this talking proves to be to be my undoing a lot of the time.
First of all, there are the "Abidents"
"Sorry Mommy, I peed in my pants, it was an Abident. Abidents Happen."
Then there all the reasons WHY he peed his pants. "Mommy, I peed my pants because I was playing with the babies. " "Mommy, I was watching Blues Clues and I peed my pants."
All of these things belong to the Category of "Abidents" in his world, which is a riot.
In addition to this, because his father told him it's against the law for him not to be potty trained before his 3rd birthday and that he cannot have a Chuck E Cheese party if he doesn't always use the toilet he asks after each successful toilet trip "Is Chuck E Cheese open? Is it my birthday?"
Tonight however may have been one of my favorites.......as we were all eating dinner he says "Mom, the spaghetti sauce made me pee my pants."

He almost made me pee mine.

Miles Conks Out - And a HAIRCUT!!

So Miles couldn't take it any longer - this waiting for bed. He chose to conk out on the pillows in the living room. The pillows are there for Charlie who is famous for leaping head first out of that chair.

In other news, if you weren't aware, I had really long hair. REALLY long hair. Long enough that I cut ten inches off of it and donated it to Locks of Love.......and STILL HAD THIS MUCH LEFT! It's HARD to take you own picture!

I had beent old that the salon I was going to was sort of ritzy and snotty. I suppose that having been accustomed to going to David's for all those years I have a different view of what a fancy salon is. I didn't think it was ritzy or snotty at all. But I did think it was very nice and quite functional......I even let a girl cut my hair which is a first like, for this millenium.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Train Obsession - Gone Too Far

This evening after a very fruitful time sitting on the pot Louis looks into the toilet and said "Mom, I made two poops. Where is the other one?"
I told him I didn't know, maybe it went on down the pipe.
And he says "Maybe it coupled up with the other poop."

Yes Yes. Maybe it is on it's way to Sodor now. I'm sure Sir Topham Hat will make Good Use of it.

And if you are interested, the potty training thing is going fine but HOW THE HELL are you supposed to wipe another persons ass when they are in a standing position? Good grief.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Things to To Do.....While Waiting

I have discovered that there are a myriad of things that can be done while waiting for Louis to use the toilet.
I can use my MaryKAY microdermabrasion kit.
I can take of toe nail polish.
I can file my nails - finger or toe.
I can consider haircuts that would require no maintenance

I can read Time Magazine.

I can use Nair on my upper lip.

I may just get some Crest White Strips..........that would really help pass the time.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Ancient Chinese Secret, huh?

Okay, so here is the deal.
I'm behind on Laundry.
I am WAY behind on Laundry.
At this point, what I get done I consider maintenance laundry.
Sheets, underwear, socks, a few things that fit everyone for everyone to wear.

See, I got behind.......oh, some time back in the 90s. I think that was it. I can't ACTUALLY remember being caught up since then. When I worked on the phones at Lane Bryant Catalog I worked like 10-12 hours a day sometimes, I didn't have time to do laundry. We had a convenient company store where you could just buy clothes. Sometimes I did that. I did a lot of that. Toss the dirty clothes in the closet and wear the new clothes you picked up at work today.

Then I would move apartments & I'd always move some dirty laundry. I just couldn't get to getting it ALL washed before I moved.

Then each time I moved I'd move MORE dirty laundry. It wasn't the same dirty laundry (theoretically), but there was more of it.

When I moved here, I moved 25 bags of clothes of dubious cleanliness. I am certain that I moved clean clothes in those bags, but by the time we got here I forgot which were which and then had to declare them all dirty. And start washing them. Occasionally.

Now, laundry in my home is at critical mass. I estimate I am 25 loads of laundry behind. I am doing three today. Three non-maintenance loads.

22 to go.........

Madness, I tell you. My life is disorganized madness.

Songs Not to Sing at School

So last night after one of my potty training adventures, Louis and I were headed to the bedroom for a night time diaper and some jammies. Louis is naked and as always, grabbing his boy bits. As we made our way to the bedroom he walks behing me singing
"oompa loompa doopity doo I've got another penis for you!"

I was very proud of my self for not screaming with laughter. I just ignored him and so he stopped since I wasn't interested.

But I thought it was funny.

People in Singapore LOVE ME!

I totally rule there!
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