A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Ok It Doesn't Ruin EVERYTHING

My oldest son is still in Boy Scouts and this weekend was the Blue and Gold Banquet and Chili Cook off. These events can be tricky with our two little special guys, especially since they involve sitting and being quiet for stretches - not their forte.
But we're a family, and that means whenever possible we ALL go to events.That means we have to adjust a bit, to make sure we don't impact your time either - but that we get to have a nice family time too.
We sit kind of away from everyone else, whenever possible and that lets the twins dance and sing and do whatever. And we can be together and have fun too.
For this dinner the chili cook off is a big deal. Louis and his dad like to try out the different kinds and determine which is delicious and which is not. I always just eat my Hunny's chili because it's awesome and my favorite always.
Julia likes the dessert contest the best. I think she was going to bite anyone who tried to take this cupcake from her.
But the highlight of the evening other than a fun night of feasting and Louis getting to see his friends was the awards. Louis earned pins for achievements so far this year. He loves Scouts so much I don't regret letting him stay in. We weren't sure about it at first, but it's a great activity and definitely something he enjoys.
I love that we all go to his events. My mom always came to everything she could when I was growing up, but it wasn't always possible with only one car and Matt being so little. We always make it a point to all go as a family to these events, to support him and show him how proud we are of him.

Because we really are.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Autism Ruins Everything

It's a delicate balance, keeping life going as though it were normal despite what Autism brings to the party. You can pretend to be as "normal" as the next person, going places and doing things, but the stuff I don't write about, and no one sees, are how I spend time every outing in bathroom stalls sorting out diapers for my 9 year olds. Ever changed a 9 year old's diaper while sitting on a public toilet in a stall ? It's awesome. There are also the tantrums when someone is told not to do something, something unsafe or unsanitary or just socially unacceptable. "Get your hands out of your butt" might elicit screams for the ages.

You also can't take your eye off them. You can smile, and read things in museums, and enjoy your surroundings but let them out of your sight for one minute and one of them is licking an electrical outlet (happened last night).

The level of stress and tension this creates, the inability to NEVER relax your guard is wearing on us I think.

This morning was a great example of something that shouldn't have been a problem and now things are broken. Autism doesn't care what is special or precious to you. It doesn't give a CRAP that you can't replace that object.

My oldest boy was downstairs to help me with the twins, as they were a bit wild this morning, and so while I made breakfast he stayed in the living room to referee. They were actually pretty good. The kids all had breakfast, everyone got cleaned up and I should've KNOWN everything had just gone too well.

I was moving a little slower than normal, I slept wrong and have an incredible crick in my neck. I decided to make myself some grits (soft food I don't have to chew), and Louis announced he was going to the bathroom. Only Charlie and Julia were in the living room. They were watching TV sitting on opposite sofas. It seemed pretty quiet.

I went back to making my breakfast not worried about those two alone together. As the microwave started to hum I heard CRASH SMASH and Julia scream "OH NO CHARLIE" and that's that.

Things are ruined, damaged, broken, and he doesn't even know what he just did.

He says "Oh no."

I can't fix it, maybe my husband can help me sort out of some of it. I'm frustrated and I hurt and I'm tired. I'm tired of Autism screwing up my entire life. I selfishly want to scream. And I know I don't have it that bad. But I should be able to spend 2 minutes in my kitchen making grits. I wasn't even gone that long.

I would not trade my twins for anything, but some days I'd like someone to hit. A whipping boy for Autism. Someone from Monsanto. They are probably not guilty of this, but since they're guilty of so MANY other things why not.

It's a frustrating morning in a frustrating life. But I have to go now, because I have a 9 year old pooping his pants. Perfect.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

More Root Canals Than You Can Shake A Stick At

I have now had five root canals in my life. One I've had repeated. So let's call that six. That seems like a lot to me.

My first root canal was almost 20 years ago. It was so unpleasant and torturous that I wouldn't let them crown it. It still is filled with the temporary they put on it back then. It hasn't given me ANY trouble since then and honestly I don't give a fig. It can stay like this.

Since then I've had other, better experiences. Clearly the technology has changed, and I've probably gotten better dentists over the years. I had two yesterday, and two crowns. Lately I've been so full of anxiety over anything medical ESPECIALLY the dentist, I decided to try this gas everyone talks about. People will say OH GET THE GAS ITS GREAT.

The gas is a lie.

Here is what I wanted. I wanted to feel calm. MENTALLY. I knew the gas didn't do pain management, but I wanted to not be freaking terrorized as they jabbed again and again trying to get me numb enough to drill. Did I mention I'm hard to get numb enough? I wanted to not be so freaking scared of the drilling that my heart nearly leaped out of my chest. I wanted not to feel like I was going to DIE in the chair.

Here is what I got. First of all it felt like nothing. No difference. Mentally, I felt like, NO CHANGE. No difference in the level of fear or worry or anxiety. I was still clawing at the walls of my mental cell. I did notice though that my heart wasn't trying escape through my throat. Small improvement. I wasn't clawing up my own hands, also improvement. But I didn't FEEL better. I wasn't less scared or relaxed.

When I got up to go to the bathroom I realized, I was PHYSICALLY impacted greatly. I felt like I weighed 500 pounds. I wasn't dizzy I was just sloggish. If sloggish were a word, that was what I was. I slogged to the bathroom, slogged back to the chair.

I felt annoyed. My bottom left molar kept stopping feeling numb. In the middle of drilling, this is not happy fun times.

I got home, and tried to eat a soft piece of toast by mostly gumming it in the spot where my wisdom teeth used to be.

My temp drown popped off.

I stuck it back on, and called. The receptionist told me if it came off again to come back.

Hours later, eating creamy yogurt, it came off again. I rushed back over, after 5pm, to have it resealed. They gave me a cement kit in case it came off again and said if it can't make it the two weeks before my perm crowns arrive then they will have to use a more perm cement and numb me back up to take it off. You can guess how likely I am to be ok with that.

Liquid diet for two weeks? Ok by me.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

My Valentine's Date

My husband told me that because of how hectic our life is, and how it's so hard to really get a babysitter with two special little guys, that he was going to have to ask me to go out to celebrate Valentine's day with another guy. He said it was his best guy, a special guy that he knew would take good care of me and even better, we'd have a great date.
It turns out, my date was indeed his best guy, my oldest son Lou. We spent our date day at Stone Mountain, both on the summit and on the slopes, tubing to his hearts content.
It turns out that snow tubing is about as much fun as two humans can have. I had never done it, and it's been so long since I went sledding it's a very distant memory. I am pretty sure I was the one screeching EEEEEE all the way to the bottom of the hill.
At the bottom of the hill is a snow play area, where we built a proper snowman, and where we finally did one of his ideas he's wanted to do for years - SNOW FORT!
We wandered around the village and saw the 4D movie, but were disappointed that so man of the little shops were closed. It was kind of a slow day but still, I wish everything had been open.
I have to admit, it was probably one of the better Valentine's dates I ever got to have.

I think I'll keep him.

Saturday, February 15, 2014


It seemed like overkill and overreaction on Monday, and on Tuesday morning. They called out the national guard. They brought in scads and loads of utility workers from other states and positioned them around town in strategic locations in trailers. They kept coming on the news going on about how the salt trucks were in position, the state troopers were relocated to be ready to help.

And so we waited.

Then the storm arrived. If you know anyone from ATL you know that every facebook update for 48 hours was "It's raining ice. It's snowing again. It's raining ice again. We have X amount of snow, we have more ice." It kept coming. And coming. watching the trees grow heavy and listening as another hundred thousand people lost power made it seem dire and worrisome.

But we were cozy inside, and so we waited.
I think the kids were less enchanted this time around.
But still getting outside was good for everyone, and experiencing real winter was fun. The snow was hard due to all the ice, not as fluffy as it was last time.
And despite waking up to a real wonderland of snow and ice the second day, nearly by noon the snow began to melt and flow down the street, signaling the end of yet another snow storm we shouldn't have had.

We decided this time around to make SNOW ICE CREAM. After much research I found out that you can just take some snow, some cream and some sugar and mix it up and bam you have a cold treat.
We set a bowl outside to collect pristine snow as it fell and then brought it inside. I drizzled honey over it so we could have it Nero style but the boys thought that wasn't tasty. I liked it, however.
Now they say it's going to be in the 70s next week. good. My bulbs are coming up and I can be done with winter now.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014


I am sitting in my living room, feet up on the ottoman, watching winter storm PAX arrive outside my windows. I left work early as ice and snow were already accumulating at my more northern located home. And so now, we wait.

The north does this all the time. Storms come in, and life pauses until you can get out and about your business. However the south doesn't. We've all got our French Toast ingredients stored safely away and are waiting to see what happens when night falls.

Because that's when it's coming, the ice. "UP TO AN INCH OF ICE". "ICE STORM OF CATASTROPHIC PROPORTIONS" are the kinds of things that they are saying. I've realized too late that we don't have enough wood dry in the house, but hey I DO have wood in the forest and I can bring it in and and let it dry if I need to. Not a perfect solution but, it's not a perfect situation.

We have food. We have shelter.

No one has to leave this house for the next few days if necessary.

I feel annoyed, I have to admit it. I want this storm to get done and let's move on.

But it's coming at it's on it's own terms. I have this feeling none of us are going to like them much.

Wednesday, February 05, 2014

You probably heard that last week Atlanta was brought to it's knees by two inches of snow.

This isn't about that.

This is about how much fun four children who rarely see snow can have, in just over an hour outside. It's funny, they always have this list, they wanna make snow angels and a snow man and have a snowball fight etc etc etc.
What's funny is how quickly the snow just becomes, wet and cold. And then they realize that we're out of things to do because we have done them all.
And then they wonder, so what now? When I assure them that this is in fact IT other than sledding (we don't own a sled) and point out that this is why winter is SO DREARY up north, I think it sinks in that snow is best as a rarity. I know I don't miss it.
It was fun for a couple of days. And we did even make a snowman.
It was a good excuse to wear the wonderful hats grandma knitted us too!
Now, back to rain and warmer weather. YAY Atlanta!