A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.

Friday, May 28, 2010

1003 Posts and Still Going

I just noticed, I hit 1000 posts and didn't realize it. I'm at 1003 now. This is 1004.
You guys have been around for some weird stuff and some good stuff and some bad stuff and it's bizarre to me that it's only been 1000. It seems like a lot more.

You were here when the twins were diagnosed with autism, you were here when babies were lost, and when a baby arrived. Through three jobs and two moves.

From what I can tell right now, things are settled. And I like it that way.

I'm not sure what will come next or what will change, but I guess if you keep reading you'll find out.

And so will I.
This is the boys with Julia in the hospital,on the day she was born. Yes, she is and was a giant.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

A Day In The Sun - With TRAINS!

There is a park not too far from us that has a gorgeous sprawling botanical garden......and on Sundays - GARDEN TRAINS. Yeah, you can imagine what a HIT this is with a certain set of short humans who live in my house.

The volunteer group who set it up and runs it has lovingly cobbled together various city and country scenes using real model train gear as well as random stuff that just works somehow even though it can be a bit silly. It's free to go and look at the trains for as long as you like. We made a small donation though - because nothing is ever free, especially not things which volunteer run.

In exchange - they gave the boys hats!

It was about the temperature of the surface of the sun that day, so we kinda gave the gardens the Griswold and rolled through them, enjoying the scenery but not really loitering much.

It was gorgeous though, with the flowers in full bloom and good smells everywhere. If it hadn't been so damned hot it would've been a great day to really take your time and just relax.

I also learned that my tiny tiny baby girl is unbelievably heavy when strapped to me. I know for a fact we carried the twins around like this to Disney tons of times. TONS. I have no memory of my back screaming. I suppose it could be age (SHUT UP NO IT IS NOT) or it could be that this is a new brand of carrier.......so that is possible.

But regardless WHAT A CHUNKY MONKEY she is. And yes, she's trying to nurse in this picture. I'm feeling better and might even make human contact again sometime soon!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

/FAIL Marketing

Combines do not work in the city. FARM Lego people. FARM!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Facing My Demon

You may or may not be aware, but I've suffered more than a little angst post surgery about my incision - and yes, the aftermath of the surgery itself. There have been a couple of points of serious "Yeah I Know I'm Crazy" kind of problems I've been having with the whole thing.......one of which is nightmares about the surgery itself.
It rather contorted itself into a Tudor-esque drawing and quartering, without the drawing bit.
This is probably a sign that the torture scenes on the Tudors are far too graphic, plus that I am watching them in the middle of the night when I am bleary eyed and emotionally charged. Not the best sleep fodder for the recently freaked out by major surgery, I suppose.

But the other real issue, the thing I haven't been able to get past.........has been the incision.
It's been nearly a month, and I had not seen it. I'd HEARD about it plenty.

The nurses all ooooo-ed and ahhhhhh-ed over the massive number of small staples that were used (I seriously didn't see why that mattered) and I heard a lot about it "Looking Good" but mostly, these sort of discussions made me queasy and quite ill.

When I got home, I steadfastly avoided it. I didn't touch it. Soap and hot water had to run down my tummy to get to it, no way I was going to actually WASH it, that would mean TOUCHING it. I made a point NOT to look into the mirror in the bathroom - quickly removing my glasses before disrobing for the shower - thus eliminating accidentally seeing it.

Truthfully I was quite ok with not ever, ever, ever seeing it or knowing anything about it.

I didn't even know EXACTLY where it was, just a vague very GENERAL idea.

But tonight when I got out of the shower, the husband came in and said it was time. He took off the rest of the surgical tape that was still on, and brought me a mirror.

It's bizarre.

It honestly looks like a scratch from a fingernail, it's that thin and small. I mean a BAD scratch, from someone being a dick when they scratch you. But still, not like I was flayed open (which I was) and a GIANT HUMAN BABY was extracted (ONE WAS).

It's surreal......and it doesn't hurt. I have some feeling finally in my abdomen even.

I don't know what to think .I spent a month being horrified and terrified of it. Now I'm like "Really? REALLY?"

I still say it sucked, and was terrifying. But I think I'm going to be ok.

And just for the record, I didn't have the nightmare last night. I think that's a good thing.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

If This Van Is Rockin Don't Bother Knockin

So it's happened. We are a mini-van family.

I know a lot of people surrendered to the mini-van far earlier than we. Some went at two kids.

But even when we were challenged by THREE we stuck with the SUV option, holding onto our "WE ARE YOUNG AND HIP" concept of ourselves.

Except that, we didn't have our kids when we were young or hip. Hell, I'm not even sure we were DATING when we were young and hip much less having kids.

We had to have the van though, as we didn't all fit in the SUV with the addition of the girl-child to the brood. So we added the van and now we've got both the SUV and the VAN - so we can go EITHER WAY!

And if the van is rockin, chances are we're letting the kids listen to KORN or EMINEM so don't bother knockin - we won't hear you and it'll just offend your "age appropriate" sensibilities.


and before I post........a quick look at my Mother's Day.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

Mother's Day Leakage

I am not a big fan of Mother's Day this year. Now, mind you, I totally appreciate that my kids and husband make the day special for me.....and I like BEING A MOTHER and think it's a nice idea that you recognize that Mom's Are Special.

But God. Right now, Mother's Day is just a reminder of how gross it can be to be a Mom.

Forget the getting used as a kleenex, covered in barf, the poop I once accidentally ate from under my finger nail (SHUT UP I THOUGHT IT WAS CHOCOLATE from an EGGO!) forget all that crap. I'm talking about the ugly post-partum biological price you pay for being a Mom.

Right now, being a Mom means I've been bleeding for three weeks in a most icky fashion. Yeah, the lovely post partum bleeding. What I REALLY enjoy is that while nursing my uterus gets the urge to kick a load down into my maxi pad giving me that "OH JESUS DID I JUST LEAK THROUGH" sort of feeling. Jesus never, EVER answers me which is quite annoying.

I've got the aching boobs and uber sore nipples from the baby who finally, three weeks out, has decided to start nursing - thanks in large to the drug Reglan that I'm taking. Have I mentioned that her version of latching on is something that seems inspired by some BDSM practice? It's not uncomfortable......it's agonizing. I mean what the hell?

My boobs are also leaking a bit, so I'm a triple-pad-threat rocking moisture absorbancy products over all my girly bits.

I've got an incision, I hear, from hip to hip - about a foot wide, where they removed my baby girl from inside me as she wouldn't come out the proper exit. It's covered in butterfly tape that allegedly is going to come off at some point on it's own.

This isn't the first time I walked this path. This path of blood and pain and general ick & malaise.

I walked it willingly three times, hell - this last time it was a definite effort to make it happen.

So what does that tell you?

I suppose it should tell you that despite the despair and horror show that creating these little creatures that make you a mom can be..........

it is worth every minute of suffering and grossness. Because there is nothing greater or more meaningful.....

than being a Mom. At least not to me.

Now my eyes are leaking. Great. You guys suck.

Saturday, May 08, 2010


I don't have much to say today.....other than HI, I'm tired and to point out how much my husband rocks for ALWAYS taking the position of getting school projects done - such as this robot from recycled materials.

He is not doing this because I'm post partum, he ALWAYS does this. He's great at this kind of stuff whereas I suck at anything requiring assembling stuff - unless it's baking.

So thanks Hunny, for being a great Dad even when it's not Father's Day. I really appreciate you and forget to tell you sometimes.........

Friday, May 07, 2010

Happy Birthday Little Brother!

Happy Birthday to one of the true loves of my life, my little brother Matt. I was never so happy as the day the school secretary paged my 4th grade classroom to announce that my baby brother had arrived.

Check him out here doing his job - driving a big ass train full of clowns on this particular day.


Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Oh That's Just WRONG

So out of the blue the Oldest Boy asks "How on Earth did Adam Lambert not WIN American Idol - HE BROUGHT KISS! KISS ROCKS! What was WRONG with people?"

We were sitting at the dining room table, having our afternoon snack when he brought this up. I pondered pussing out on my response.....but decided against it.

We might be the kind of parents who shield and protect from the realities of violence in the world but to my husband's credit.....we do shine the light when it comes to some things that matter - the sort of things that shape little minds.

Such as, bigotry.

So I just said it. "Adam Lambert lost because he's gay. A lot of people in America don't like gay people, we've talked about that, remember?"

I calmly talked about how it's WRONG to judge someone based on whether they love women or men, and the people in OUR lives that we love VERY much who are gay....and how we hope someday people don't act like that but that right now, they do. So, unfortunately, Adam Lambert lost because he was gay - most likely anyway.

The boy sat there digesting this. He knows what gay means (ok not the squidgy details but from an OVERVIEW sort of way) and he shook his head. "Mom, that's just WRONG. I mean - he BROUGHT KISS! You would think bringing KISS on the show would change their mind and show people how cool he is."

You would think.

Sunday, May 02, 2010

Bra Fitting Shmitting

So before she was born, I went to the maternity store and asked if they had nursing bras in size super duper wowzah and SURE ENOUGH they did. The bubbly little human that was the shop girl measured me for my maternity bra SIZE and oddly, my cup size had DECREASED from my pre-pregnancy size.

This seemed odd to me.

But whatever.

I ended up getting a sport bra style so that I could sleep in it without under wires poking me in the armpits while I slept. And before the baby came, it fit me smashingly.

A funny thing happened when they extracted that human from my abdomen. It seems that I was carrying her so far up into my ribs (I was, I felt the horrendous TUG right in my ribcage when they pulled her out) that she impacted the bra measurement. Because, as soon as she was out - my BRA WAS TOO FRICKIN BIG.

No lie. Suddenly it's like totally loose and big around me........the cups might fit but who would know.....they're too busy heading toward my waist to really be sure. I think I could actually drag the band down almost TO my waist it's so stretchy and big.

Sigh. Now I gotta go BACK to the damn maternity store and see the goofy shop girl and get a NEW bra. Most likely one with under wires to tame these bazoombahs.

How annoying.