A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Blogger Challenge:What's In Your Bag?

Iris Seale at Shopping Cart Disco Issued the "What's In Your Bag Challenge" so I had to play.

What is in my purse?
  • Door card for work
  • Empty bottle of Tums
  • Wash Away Your Sins Coin Purse
  • Nail File
  • Paperclip
  • Gum
  • Inhaler
  • Receipt from Publix
  • 2 Random Christmas Cards
  • Make-Up Bag with 10 lipsticks and glosses or more
  • 2 maxi pads for my never ending period
  • 2 pens
  • tape measure
  • starbucks card with 1.04 on it
  • paycheck stub
  • hair-band thingy for emergencies - like when I can't stand my hair in my face one more second
  • cell phone
  • key chain thing for children's healthcare of Atlanta - I just thought of this, why do they have these? Do I get coupons for health emergencies from them
  • Blank deposit tickets
  • My kids pics - obscured by the deposit ticket

Saturday, December 27, 2008

You Knew I Loved Disney Parks

But did you know it was like all this?

thanks to Mrs Memmer for makig it happen!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Marshmallows for Toasting

At a certain point you stop noticing your kid's firsts. Their first step (I was at work), their first words, the first time they clapped (Baby Birdman, on the MEXICO boat ride at EPCOT) and on and on.....these things sort of slip away as they age.

They've done this, they've done that - and unless you're taking them mountain climbing or something you've pretty much knocked out most things.

Or, you kinda stop logging them in your brain - just a little.

So I'd like to put my good, observant mommy hat on for a moment and share with you - our FIRST ever marshmallow roasting - at the big outdoors Christmas Lights extravaganza near our home.

A couple of big fire pits and marshmallows on sticks were our first foray into burning confection on a stick. You know how we love foods on sticks. Burned foods on sticks? Even better.

There was marshmallow roasting all around but it was kinda hard to get everyone's faces because of the big old crowd. But Daddy helped the little guys get their own marshmallows roasted - just like they were big boys.

The light display was really impressive. It went on and on and on. I've been to some light displays but this one was fairly extraordinary, as far as drive through one's go. No it wasn't the OSBOURNE lights but it was really nice.

It was a beautiful night with free hot chocolate served by fine Christian Women, and a real live nativity where they rocked some modern Christian music as part of the show. Can I get some "Angels We Have Heard on High?" or what about "Adeste Fidelis?"

I don't need new "modern" Christmas music or Christian music for that matter. Stop writing it.

I'll give a pass to 4 new songs a year but those will have to be approved BY me from now before we subject people to them at Live Nativity events.

But I digress.

So here on 12/23 we're getting into Christmas spirit by building a Gingerbread House - as a warning to all children not to go wandering in the forest or you'll get eaten by a witch.......or something. Why do we build these at Christmas?

I have no idea. But I do know this. When you spend a good long time decorating and building your Christmas gingerbread house, do you know what is annoying? It's annoying when your little brothers sneak into the kitchen and eat the sugared jellies off of the house. At least, that is the impression I was given.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

"Ummm, Can You Come Back Here?"

*Let me start off with a belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUCKA! to Sarah one of my favoritest people in the world.
This post is dedicated to her, in response to her post about not having to wipe people's butts when she didn't work from home. True story, enjoy.

I used to have this job where I was required to be in to work really really early - due to the fact that I was the one who churned out the daily reports for all the hoohas about the previous day's performance. I'd roll in to work some days as early as 6am. My staff were pretty cool, and usually wise enough to have a hot pot of coffee going as they all knew what a surly bitch I am without my caffeine.

On the day in question, I rolled in a little late- 7:15am, threw some coffee in a cup and started importing data. At this time of day, other than a team lead, I was the only "leadership" in the building. Even though I didn't manage "a team" - I was a manager so if there was a problem, it was mine.

Shortly after I started keying my phone rang.
"Ummm, can you come back here? There's a turd on the floor."
To which I responded,"Oh there is not - it's mud off of someone's shoe - it's been raining."

Rep:"No- it's a turd. We need you to come back here."

So I get up and walk through the largely desolate call center, back to the only row where there are people sitting, 7 of them to be exact. And yes, in the middle of the aisle - is a large turd.

"Was this here when you got here?" I ask.
"Okay, who has been through here this morning?"
"No one, just us."
"Okay, you guys - one of you had to SEE this - they don't magically appear.......seriously who came through?"
"No one, we all came in together, and it wasn't here, and then when we just looked over here, there it was."

Sigh. Yes, they indeed were trying to tell me that a turd had materialized in their aisle.

I grunted and told them not to touch it and marched back to my office to call the facilities mgmt group to come clean it up asap, left a message on their voice mail and then relocated the entire team to another aisle - one that was turdless.

The best part of this story, is that my HR team told me that I should have saved it for the police, WHOM they called. And I had to be interviewed by. Because apparently, unbeknown to me, FECAL GRAFFITI (it was not graffiti it was just a turd but they wouldn't listen) is some GANG thing. I kept saying "It wasn't used for ink. It was just a turd, like someone squatted, dropped it and walked on." But they wanted to know if there was writing on it, or if it was SHAPED like anything.

It was shaped like a turd.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

A Lump Of Coal For Martha Stewart...Or Maybe A Handful of Molten Lava

One day, during the world's longest miscarriage, I took my biggest boy onto my lap, and had him pick out the things in the Holiday Martha Stewart magazine that he thought would be yummy to make and tops on his list were her Peppermint Icicles.

Now, I'm a fan of making candy but I've never REALLY made hard candy before - but I figure if you follow the logic of baking - just FOLLOW the recipe and you can't go wrong.


Candy making is it's own weird thing.

First off, let me condemn Martha to the hell of molten lava because her instructions say that you should be able to start pulling this confection just a few minutes after pouring it into a pan to cool.

See that blistered and bloody mess? That's my finger. The finger I lightly touched to to surface to test it - as it seemed WAY too hot to put my hands into - as her instructions indicated would be safe to do. I swear, it said "mixture will be very hot." Should've said "Mixture will be flesh melting hot." So I screamed for the husband and he came running and put HIS hands into the molten lava..... And yes, it MELTED the rubber gloves. I went to work making the blue section, pulling and twisting it. And then we started putting them together. What a mess. Yes that is a giant rope of candy cane (peppermint icicles). And now, a home movie - as shot by a six year old - with direction and narration by Lil Satchmo


Eventually though, we had some semblance of Peppermint Icicles. You can see the carnage of the candy that didn't make it off the pan for the pulling process - it's still brown. They taste pretty good, they're fairly subtle - as far as the flavor goes. I'd put in more mint next time.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The Candy Anniversary

It's Our Candy Anniversary.

That's 6 years. Our other option was IRON but not owning a forge that seemed impractical.

I made him chocolate cremes and chocolate cherries, and (failed) toffee (a subject for another post I assure you).

He had custom M&Ms made with our picture on them, and several wonderful sayings.

I'm going to take them to work tomorrow, show everyone and share nothing.

I love being married. I love him despite all his faults and my complaints. (Name that movie).

I would not change one minute. Because if I did, I wouldn't have a jar full of custom M&Ms downstairs from my one true love.

Happy Anniversary Baby.

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

At least.......on my cats butt.
Enjoy that.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Wintery Goodness

So it's winter. For real. This is only the kids second REAL winter, with blistering cold winds whipping down from the mountains and grey skies hanging over head. The Husband and I, being Hoosiers, barely even register the grey and gloom - we're just glad there isn't grey slushy snow everywhere as well.

Last night we bundled up for some winter time fun.....and despite the requisite six year old bitching about the cold, I think we all survived. A town nearby has a very Mayberry-esque town square and they had the whole she-bang for Christmas, complete with christmas carols and ladies handing out ornaments and wishing you Merry Christmas.

So we took the kids for their first carriage ride ever.....and then we toured the historic courthouse which was wildly decorated inside for lots of kid friendly awe and wonder.

And inside the parks department had set up a crafts table where the kids could make crafts and color which was actually really nice. It was only a $1 and the kids could make as many crafts as they wanted (the tolerance seemed to be about 3 - and then the kids were done). Lil Satchmo made two things and thought it was great fun.

Did I mention they gave them elf hats?

It was a beautiful, flipping freezing cold night.

The whole time we were there, all I could think was - this is what you are supposed to do with your family. THINGS. Make memories together. Whenever I see families out and half the kids have hand held video games ignoring the rest of the family.....all I can think is that they aren't making memories- they are going for high score.
People say to us "Wow, you guys really do a lot with your kids."

You are supposed to. Especially at this time of year. We only get one chance at the magic and wonder of their childhood Christmas - don't we?

Speaking of.....if you look closely, you will see two very small boys at the bottom left.

Magic and Wonder.

Friday, December 12, 2008

What Exactly Is WEATHER Forecast For PETS?

I made some random mistake at work, loading up weather.com . My screen loads slow - the result of an average video card and we don't really rock the bandwith for users.......so somehow, one day, when looking up the weather......
I set my default to "PET WEATHER."

Now, it tells me how the weather is going to be for my pets.

It tells me how to keep them warm (ummm they are animals they grow fur). And what the weather conditions mean to them.

Ummm, they are animals, if they go outside and it's raining, they get WET.

I also saw something for humans, today. "How to stay warm while you sleep."

WAIT A MINUTE! Did I somehow switch from PETS to RETARDS?

Weather.com Please do yourself a favor.

Stick to the WEATHER! Is it going to rain? Is it going to snow? Show me some radar and SHUT UP.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

I'm Really Not Dead

I've just been distracted by the fun of the holiday, writing cards, decorating the tree......making cookies! Yeah, that's my green bra you see - rockin eh?

Those cookies are from Cookie Play Dough which is far cooler than I thought it would be.....

You will hear more about this marvelous cookie dough over on my other gig

Props an Pans where they're giving away two YES TWO $100 gift cards plus some Kohls cards!


Other than that.......I'm here, I'm just a little tired.....I halfway suspect I was feeling too good and doing too much there for a bit, and now I'm a bit the other way!

And now, twins eating ice cream at my company Christmas party....sometimes using your hands is just faster!

Friday, December 05, 2008

Don't Call Me Mom

Unless I gave birth to you.
Seriously. I mean, unless you are my child, physically, spiritually or legally - don't call me mom. It's freaky.
The school nurse, calls me MOM. But she says it condescendingly like I'm a retard. Or as though I'm some lesser member of royalty that she's slighting with a "Your Grace" vs a "Your Highness"......
I mean lord.
What's wrong with Mrs X? Or my first name.........the one my parents picked out. I mean, I know you've got records. You know my first and last name. Hell I'm not a big fan of Ms. but I do realize that if you aren't sure of marital status it's easier to use, so we could go for that.

When I was in labor the nurses called me Mom. I thought that was weird as well. I realize it was meant to be encouraging.......but -it was annoying.

Now that I think about it, sometimes the nurses at the pediatrician's office call me Mom.


NURSES! Hear me NOW! Mrs, Ms. or just my NAME will get it.

I'm not your Mom. I don't just call you NURSE!