Live From The Wang: I love my Job

A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

I love my Job

So have I ever mentioned how much I love my job? I really do. I think it's because I like to be in charge and tell people what to do. I do a lot of different things, at my place of business but mostly, I just tell people what to do. It's kind of like being a general. You don't ACTUALLY do the work a lot of the time, and it bites you in the ass a LOT when you count on the other people to do things because they fuck it up don't do it right.....but still.
I love my job.
A lot of what I do is assessment and reaction. "What is going on here?" and then "Let's do X to fix it".
Pretty cool job, eh? I feel bad for my boss though, his job seems to be to run through mine fields left by his employees.
I swear, I don't MEAN to drop mines around ........

32 comments:

Anonymous said...: yeah, but can you get me some cool chenille pillow shams and a couple of dust ruffles?; Sun Sep 18, 10:29:00 PM
Gidge Uriza said...: well, yes I can.
Except that Chenille isn't COOL.......you've GOT to post with your name so that I can mock you now.; Sun Sep 18, 10:51:00 PM
Anonymous said...: Okay, I'm not posting my name til you admit that chenille is cool, and know that I'll trade almost anything for some shams and dust ruffles...sexual favors when you're feeling unloved, chocolate and coffee when you're down, & I can even make some nasty cheese fries if you're desperate.; Mon Sep 19, 06:54:00 PM
Gidge Uriza said...: Wait a minute, you're going to give me chocolate AND cheese fries? I think I love you. You're right, I've always misjudged Chenille. It IS cool.......; Mon Sep 19, 10:50:00 PM
Gidge Uriza said...: Unless you're a chick.
No lesbian flirting on my blog.
I'm not anti lesbian, I'm anti lesbian FLIRTING on my blog.; Mon Sep 19, 11:34:00 PM
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...: It's not me but, for chocolate and cheese fries I'd be hard pressed to care if it was a girl or a guy.; Tue Sep 20, 08:33:00 AM
Anonymous said...: Okay, I was kidding about the sexual favors, although some of my best friends ARE lesbians (you know, not that there's anything wrong with it...)

I'm afraid you'll be terribly disappointed if I unmask. I've been reading your blogs for quite some time and enjoyed the pukey birth stories especially - even told my sister about them and we had a laugh.

But I'll go away now, wouldn't want you to think I was 'stalking' you, but first, can you explain 'the Wang of America'?

Is it a boy thing? I have girls, so don't get it.

I'm jealous that you have such fun and friends, all mine are far away.

Ta ta!; Tue Sep 20, 04:49:00 PM
Anonymous said...: The problem is, now I'm even MORE curious as to who you are!
And I doubt I could be disappointed even if you were some person I don't remember from the third grade............so you need to confess who you are.
I might be happy to hear from you, you know.
And some of my best friends are lesbians too.....I just don't get it on with them.
Identify please. -
Gidge; Tue Sep 20, 05:13:00 PM
Gidge Uriza said...: Florida is the Wang of America - it hangs off like a penis.
And I LIVE there.
Get it?
Now........IDENTIFY!
Oh come on, at least email me.; Tue Sep 20, 07:57:00 PM
Anonymous said...: Okay, I got it, I got it.

Lovin' the Sunshine State, eh?

Sorry to build this into such a big mystery, it's not, trust me.

(Ooooh, beware the person who says 'trust me', because you know what comes next - 'the check's in the mail' and 'I won't come in your mouth').

Sorry if I offend anyone's sensibilities, but those ARE the 3 big lies.

And no, I have no clue where you were in the 3rd grade, because I was right here, in the big old 'WANG of America', in about the first grade...

Okay, sorry again, I just want to prolong it 'cause I know you're gonna be disappointed.

This is kinda fun, right? I should've never commented, should've just kept observing.

It's like when you have to TELL someone it's your birthday, the resulting wishes mean less than nothing.

Once you find out, the thrill will be gone.

so far you have 2 clues...I'll think about more tomorrow; Tue Sep 20, 09:28:00 PM
Gidge Uriza said...: The clues thus far......
You have a sister.
You have girls (plural?)
You lived in Florida when you were a child and are 2 years young than me - give or take?
Let the games begin.; Tue Sep 20, 11:22:00 PM
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...: I am on the edge of my seat.; Wed Sep 21, 01:31:00 PM
Anonymous said...: Well, I can't think of any more tantalizing clues.

How about, I've never met you before in my life, but was intrigued by your emails, then your blogs, and thought to myself

"Hey, self, that person sounds like a possible partner in crime, a fellow crab who is really sweet WAAAAAAAAAAAY underneath, intelligent, sarcastic - in other words, a gem among women."

Being the figurative LEPER in the group, I was at a loss for a way to let this funky chick know that I'd like to meet for coffee sometime (minus the lesbian undertones, of course). heheheheh

How does one make friends when you're over 30, not in school, and somewhat on the outs with those you have something in common with??

'nuff said for now.

(that's 'enough', by the way, not 'MUFF' for any of you sickos reading this!)

And I really AM hot for the chenille, I was pretty fanatical about the Wed. am sale for awhile, but lately it's been pretty sparse.; Wed Sep 21, 02:23:00 PM
Anonymous said...: If you don't work for me, near me or with me how do you know I am a chenille pusher?
-Bridgette; Wed Sep 21, 05:56:00 PM
Anonymous said...: from your email, of course! long ago and far away...

I should get a job there for the fringe (sorry, bad pun) benefits, but aside from the whole 'watch the kids' thing, I don't play well with other in work situations.

I finally learned my limitations, and by God, I'm sticking with it as long as I can milk it (ooh, does that count as a bad pun if I didn't breastfeed?)

Of course, I don't know if I could keep control of myself around 'Curt the Hottie' - that man's a sex machine, obviously.

ugh.; Wed Sep 21, 06:36:00 PM
Gidge Uriza said...: I'm not so sure I'd call Kurt a hottie, and I'm also not sure about the sex machine part but he's a nice enough guy.
I don't really think that I'd call you the leper of the group...you're actually sort of the mystery on my blog right now. I'm still terribly curious.
So fine, I don't know you. But how the heck did you ever read one of my emails then? You must know someone I know.......
so - I still say unmask. I think at this point there are at least 3 people who will be fascinated even if you turn out to be Elmer Fudd. (okay actually Elmer Fudd would ROCK - but you get the point).
Email me (contact info on my profile is valild!); Thu Sep 22, 07:47:00 AM
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...: UNMASK, UNMASK, UNMASK!; Thu Sep 22, 08:43:00 AM
Anonymous said...: Sorry - I'm not the leper of the bloggers, I'm the leper of another group you belong to...

Yes, I have 2 girls, TWINS!

Sorry if I sent you on a mad scramble to figure out which one of your employees was invading your life.

You sent an email long ago to the group about the linen sale, and I promptly went to it (and continued going every 2 weeks).

I have purchased lots of chenille, but it's become a small obsession.

That is where I've read your emails and thought - "I like her", but figured I am pretty much reviled in that setting.

So, my name...

My name is MUD!

You also left your blog tag in one of your emails, I went there out of curiosity and laughed my ass off.

So, mystery almost solved.

With the Kurt thing, I had to post a comment on the Vegas pic, too.; Thu Sep 22, 09:15:00 AM
Anonymous said...: Hello Heidi!
-Bridgette; Thu Sep 22, 10:11:00 AM
Anonymous said...: Hi there!!

So, did I screw up any possible chance that you'll come out and play...?; Thu Sep 22, 10:28:00 AM
Anonymous said...: Sorry, I didn't sign that last one.

I also have to tell you, my bedroom is pink, pink, pink, and there are about 7 chenille pillows (L.Source) going on in there.

A feather boa and pink beads wrapped around a lamp that is affectionately known as 'Mrs. Howell'

A bit of a bordello, and thank God my husband is secure in his masculinity.

~~~~

I have to say, I thought it was really ballsy - the post about Hurricane Katrina. I totally agree, and here's a recent email I received on 'the other' twins club. You might find it interesting reading...

Heidi; Thu Sep 22, 10:43:00 AM
Anonymous said...: Hey you didn't post me the other email....
-Bridgette; Thu Sep 22, 01:06:00 PM
Anonymous said...: I sent it to your email address because it's very long. I will copy here, though, too...

Of course, it's already been deleted from the TPOTS website as too controversial! People can no longer think and make decisions for themselves, we have to protect them from anything that might be upsetting or might offend someone...AGHHHHHHHHH!

~~~~
Hey friends, wanted to forward this message to you regarding the Katrina victims. My husband Tom's sister is married to a doctor and lives in Illinois. One of his friends is a doctor in Mississippi. He went to volunteer and was so upset that he sent this message to us to tell us about his experience. Just be warned that he uses some foul language but he is just so angry at we happened to him. Please read as I think this is something we need to lift up in prayer.

Thanks

Beth
Stephen R Simpson, CPA,CFP,MBA
Brown, Smith & Settle, LLC
777 Oak Hill Road
Evansville, IN 47711
Telephone: 812-424-3388
Facsimile: 812-429-1567
E-mail: ssimpson@bsscpa.com

Work hard, get ahead, pay your taxes, enjoy your freedoms. Stop giving away our dignity, respect and needless welfare checks!! Be careful how you donate in the wake of Katrina. The press says our country did a terrible job responding to Katrina...see the angry Doctor's letter below..then complain to the press as to how they are presenting this to "the public".

Subject: Oh my!

Well here is another side of the story...interesting read.

A letter from a VERY UPSET Mississippi Doctor !

What the news does not show...

Thought I might inform the few friends I have on my recent traumatic experience. I am going to tell it straight, blunt, raw, and I don't give a damn. Long read, I know but please do read!!!

I went to volunteer on Saturday at the George R. Brown convention for two reasons.

A: I wanted to help people to get a warm fuzzy.

B: Curiosity.

I've been watching the news lately and have seen scenes that have made me want to vomit. And no it wasn't dead bodies, the city under water, or the sludge everywhere. It was PEOPLE'S BEHAVIOR. The people on T.V., (99% being Black) were DEMANDING help. They were not asking nicely but demanding as
if society owed these people something. Well the honest truth is WE DON'T.
Help should be asked for in a kind manner and then appreciated. This is not what the press (FOX in particular) was showing, what I was seeing was a group of people who are yelling, demanding, looting, killing, raping, and SHOOTING back at the demanded help!!!!! So I'm thinking this can't possibly be true can it???? So I decide to submit to the DEMAND for help out of SHOCK. I couldn't believe this to be true of the majority of the people who
are the weakest of society. So I went to volunteer and help folks out and see the truth. So I will tell the following story and you decide:

I arrived at the astrodome only to find out that there were too many
volunteers and that volunteers were needed at the George R. Brown
Convention Center. As I was walking up to the Convention Center I noticed a line of cars that wrapped around blocks filled with donations. These were ordinary Houstonians coming with truckloads and trunks full of water, diapers, clothes, blankets, food, all types of good stuff. And lots of it was NEW. I felt that warm fuzzy while helping unload these vehicles of these wonderful human beings. I then went inside the building and noticed approximately 100,000 sq. ft. of clothes, shoes, jackets, toys and all
types of goodies all organized and ready for the people in need. I signed up, received a name badge and was on my merry way excited to be useful.

I toured the place to get familiar with my surroundings; the entire place is probably around 2 million sq. ft. I noticed rows as far as the eye can see of mattresses, not cots, BLOW UP MATTRESSES!!! All of which had nice pillows and plenty of blankets. 2 to 3 bottles of water lay on every bed.
These full size to queen size beds by the way were comfortable, I laid in one to see for myself. I went to look at the medical area. I couldn't believe what my eyes were seeing!!! A makeshift hospital created in 24 hours!!! It was unbelievable, they even had a pharmacy. I also noticed that they created showers, which would also have hot water. I went upstairs to the third floor to find a HUGE cafeteria created in under 24 hours! Rows of tables, chairs and food everywhere - enough to feed an army! I'm not talking about crap food either. They had Jason's deli food, apples, oranges, coke, diet coke, lemonade, orange juice, cookies, all types of chips and sandwiches. All the beverages by the way were put on ice and
chilled!!!! In a matter of about 24 hours or less an entire mini-city was erected by volunteers for the poor evacuees. This was not your rundown crap shelter, it was BUM HEAVEN.

So that was the layout: great food, comfy beds, clean showers, free medical help, by the way there was a library, and a theatre room that I forgot to mention. Great stuff right????

Well here is what happened on my journey -

I started by handing out COLD water bottles to evacuees as they got off the bus. Many would take them and only 20% or less said thank you. Lots of them would shake their heads and ask for sodas! So this went on for about 20-30 minutes until I was sick of being an unappreciated servant. I figured certainly these folks would appreciate some food!!! So I went upstairs to serve these beloved evacuees some GOOD food that I wish I could have at the moment!

***The following statements are graphic, truthful, and discuss UNRATIONAL behavior***

Evacuees come slowly to receive this mountain of food that is worth serving to a king! I tell them that we have 2 types of great deli sandwiches to choose from - ham and turkey. Many look at the food in disgust and DEMAND burgers, pizza, and even McDonalds!!!! Jason's deli is better than McDonalds!!!! Only 1 out of ten people who took something would say "thank you" the rest took items as if it was their God given right to be served without a shred of appreciation!!! They would ask for Beer and liquor. They
complained that we didn't have good enough food. They refused food and laughed at us. They treated us volunteers as if we where SLAVES. No not all of them of course, but 70% did!!! 20% were appreciative, 10% took the food without any comment and the other 70% had some disgusting comment to say. Some had the nerve to laugh at us. And when I snapped back at them for being mean, they would curse at me!!! Needless to say I was in utter shock.
They would eat their food and leave their mess on the table. Some would pick up their stuff, many would leave it for the volunteers to pick up. I left that real quick to go down and help set up some more beds. I saw many young ladies carrying mattresses and I helped for a while. Then I realized something. There were hundreds of able bodied young men who could help!! I asked a group of young evacuees in their teens and early twenties to help. I got cursed at for asking them to help!!! One said "We just lost our fucking homes and you want us to work!!" The next said "Ya Cracker, you got
a home we don't" I looked at them in disbelief. Here are women walking by carrying THEIR BEDS and they can't lift a finger and help themselves!!

WHY SHOULD I HELP PEOPLE WHO DON'T WANT TO HELP THEMESELVES!!!?

I waved them off and turned away and was laughed at and more "white boy jokes" were made at me. I felt no need to waste my breath on a bunch of pitiful losers. I went to a nearby restroom where I noticed a man shaving. I used the restroom, washed my hands and saw this man throw his razor towards the trash can...he missed. he walked out leaving his disgusting razor on the floor for some other "cracker" to pick up. Even the little kids were demanding. I saw only ONE white family and only TWO Hispanic
families. The rest where blacks. Sorry 20% to 30% decent blacks, and 70% LOSERS!!!!!

I would call them N*****S, but the actual definition of a n*****r is one who is ignorant, these people were not ignorant-- they were ARROGANT ASSHOLES. The majority of which are thugs and lifetime lazy ass welfare recipients. We are inviting the lowest of the low to Houston. And like idiots we are serving the people who will soon steal our cars, rape, murder, and destroy our city while stealing from our pockets on a daily basis through the welfare checks they take. We will fund our own destruction.

By "US" I don't mean a specific race, I mean the people who work hard, work smart, have values and morals. Only people who want to help themselves should be helped, the others should be allowed to destroy themselves. I do not want to work hard, give the government close to half the money I earn so they can in turn give it to a bunch of losers.

I don't believe in being poor for life. My family immigrated here, we came here poor, and now thank God, and due to HARD WORK we are doing fine. If immigrants, who come here, don't know the language can work and become successful... WHY CAN'T THE MAJORITY OF THE HOMEGROWN DO IT!!! If we continue to reward these losers then we will soon destroy our great country. I just witnessed selfish, arrogant, unappreciative behavior by the
very people who need help the most.

Now these same people who cursed me, refused my cities generosity, who refuse to help themselves are DEMANDING handouts on their own terms!!!!!!! They prance around as if they are owed something, and when they do receive a handout, they say it's not good enough! Well you know what..these types of people can go to hell for all I care!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Richard L. Johnston, M.D.
University of Mississippi Medical Center
3805 Crane Blvd.
Jackson, MS 39216
601-981-3896 (home)
601-573-0472 (cell)
601-984-0214 (pager); Thu Sep 22, 03:08:00 PM
Becky said...: Oh, please. How can you be so ignorant?

http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/bl_so_i_volunteered.htm

"Update #3: A variant has surfaced which appears to have been "signed" by a Richard L. Johnston, M.D. of Jackson, Mississippi. Dr. Johnston is a real person, but he did not write this text; like thousands of other people, he simply forwarded it to friends and family. Unhappily for him, however, his email program automatically appended his name and address to the message, and copies with that signature have been forwarded, forwarded, and forwarded again, to the point where many people now assume he was the author. He was not."; Thu Sep 22, 04:23:00 PM
Tim said...: Don't forget to read the other updates from the becky's link:

Update: Based on message board discussions of the text around the Web, it appears it was originally published on a MySpace blog authored by a Houston resident named Maher. I emailed him to verify this and give him an opportunity to respond.

Update #2: Maher responded to my email and acknowledged writing the piece on his blog on September 4, 2005. Though he can't account for why his observations differ so much from everyone else's, he stands by their accuracy and denies being a racist, adding that as an immigrant from the Middle East he has been a victim of racism himself. He claims, rather, that the real target of his criticism is people with a "Welfare mentality" who expect the government to take care of them, a description he seems to believe fits the majority of New Orleans evacuees.; Thu Sep 22, 05:22:00 PM
Anonymous said...: Um, how am I ignorant? I went to the site you referenced, and here is a piece you neglected to copy.
~~~~

Based on message board discussions of the text around the Web, it appears it was originally published on a MySpace blog authored by a Houston resident named Maher. I emailed him to verify this and give him an opportunity to respond.

Update #2: Maher responded to my email and acknowledged writing the piece on his blog on September 4, 2005. Though he can't account for why his observations differ so much from everyone else's, he stands by their accuracy and denies being a racist, adding that as an immigrant from the Middle East he has been a victim of racism himself. He claims, rather, that the real target of his criticism is people with a "Welfare mentality" who expect the government to take care of them, a description he seems to believe fits the majority of New Orleans evacuees.

~~~~

And I guess the looting, rapes, and other violent crime that has been widely reported is all fake, too?

Once again, say the word 'racist', and everyone runs to hide. I don't think it is racist, it is, as stated, a protest against those people who feel 'the system' owes them something.

I find it particularly interesting that the person who authored it stands by his statements and is willing to be branded ignorant, racist, and just a horrible person in general.

My sister in law is currently in New Orleans, so I'll be interested to hear her view.

I don't feel there's any need for me to go on and on about how I'm sure there are decent, hard working people who were tragically affected by the storm...

We all know that.

Why is it so difficult to believe him, when one can believe other people had a positive experience?

Love as always to you, Becky...

Heidi; Thu Sep 22, 05:26:00 PM
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...: I don't think it's cool to post people's personal information on someone else's blog. You just gave the whole internet that woman's phone number and address.

That is really messed up.; Thu Sep 22, 05:36:00 PM
Becky said...: I didn't say I didn't believe whoever wrote this. I think it's ignorant to pass it off as being written by someone who didn't write it. Check the facts.; Thu Sep 22, 07:18:00 PM
Anonymous said...: Okay, that's reasonable. I thought he WAS the author of the piece, and he was deliberately using his personal information to prove its validity.

That was a mistake. (I assume that's what you meant, if not, I don't know which woman you are referring to ?)

It was certainly an honest mistake, and as it was forwarded to me that way, I passed it on.

While 2 wrongs don't make a right, the e-mail is making the rounds to hundreds (if not more) people exactly as I forwarded it.

Also, I had originally sent it to Bridgette in a personal email, but assumed she didn't get it since she was asking about it.

Other than that, it's simply a divergent point of view in today's super-cautious ultra PC environment.

Deserving of discussion? I think so.; Thu Sep 22, 07:20:00 PM
Gidge Uriza said...: I am digesting this entire string........comments or posts later. I'm packing for Disney for a long weekend.; Thu Sep 22, 10:06:00 PM
Anonymous said...: oops, I'm a dolt, I re-read the email and noticed I had not deleted the sender's info.

My bad.

Mitigating circumstances - it came to me along with a 'CC' list about 5 inches tall, so I would say that anyone who includes their personal info in an email that widely distributed...what are they thinkin'?

Let's all lift it up for prayer...; Thu Sep 22, 11:07:00 PM
Anonymous said...: another quick thought...
~~
The information I neglected to delete IS, however, her work number and address, so any psychos will have to harass her at the law firm she presumably is employed by.

Also, I'm feeling a little miffed that she would mention prayer in a public email, and although I've never met the woman, I bet her kids say the Pledge of Allegiance with the 'God' reference in it.

The horror!

~~

Enjoy Mickey & the Gang, I will be taking the girls there for the FIRST TIME in the next week or so, with the triplet Disney veterans.; Thu Sep 22, 11:15:00 PM