Or at least, this is what I learned while watching ROME on HBO. I've been on vacation all week and one of my guilty pleasures has been sitting up VERY late, drinking alcohol in various forms and watching this overblown - period - piece - soap - opera. It has almost the same opening music as DEADWOOD. Anyone notice that? It has less swearing but more sex, ostensibly because the Romans didn't swear in a format that translates well (I'm guessing?) but hey, sex we all understand. It's a bit daffy and overstated. I mean, I REALLY don't think that Mark Antony held up the entire 13th legion on their way to Rome to shag a shepherdess. Here's a guy hitting it with the best Patrician families in Rome, am I supposed to believe he just HAS TO HAVE this dirty shepherdess? Possibly it's an example of "just because he can" sort of mentality.
But I'd sort of mindlessly been watching episode 6 when all of a sudden this woman, Atia of the Julii (Caesar's niece) is ornamenting this slave, who happens to be naked and, ahem, well endowed. She's decorating him. We learn she's giving him as a a gift to someone she's wronged - trying to make amends. When questioned as to the nature of the gift, she turns and utters that line, "Large Penis is Always Welcome."
I nearly shot rum and coke out my nose.
I can see angry young neo-feminists everywhere who like to say the C word and talk about their periods all the time embracing this slogan. There will probably be an article out on the web somewhere on how to crochet this slogan onto pot holders.
Perhaps I'll make them myself.
If only I could crochet.
(As an aside, I think Atia has the best eyebrows in the world. I totally covet them.)