So while out and about this past weekend we decided to check out a diner that we hadn't been to before. On the outside it was a 50s diner dream - neon tubing and shiny metal with lots of kitsch. But on the inside it was rich and gorgeous with dark wood paneling and carpets - completely OUT of keeping with the theme you'd expect.
Even the bathrooms were luxurious - instead of a tile print there was - well I dunno like a FRIEZE on the wall the likes of which you might expect to find in a roman ruin.
The menu was fairly normal but had a lot of variety.
But while we were waiting for our food.......the husband and I noticed a couple of things. First off, the manager dude with his bald head, tight silk pants and shirt...........well........
He was clearly the alpha male in the room.
I know this by the enormous "This Is a Joke From Spinal Tap" sort of thing he had lodged in his pants. It was SO pronounced and distracting - that well, frankly - I got so flustered and cracked up by it that as I sat down after taking the big boy to the restroom I casually moved my arm backward.......and got a handful.
But not of Mr Manager.
Of OUR WAITER. So there, now I'm waiting on our food and I've just had the waiter's goods in my right hand. What's the etiquette here? He nodded, said EXCUSE ME and moved on quickly about his business. And I said excuse me and went back to my business of being a customer.
It was about this moment in time that we realized that aside from all the civilians in the place, the restaurant was entirely peopled by Paulie, Big Paulie, Little Paulie, Big Pussy, Tony, Big Tony, Little Tony and EVERY OTHER MEMBER OF THE CAST OF THE SOPRANOS.
Or - their real life counterparts.
No lie. We were dining in an established run by and largely patronized by Friends of Ours. Or perhaps they had all just been to a Soprano's look like contest and all the winners had come back to this one place for dinner.
And I had just felt up the waiter.
Yeah that's right.
So where's my Gumah Badge?