I had a nightmare a few nights ago.
I dreamed the Baby Birth of Cool went into the hospital for the flu and never came out again. I dreamed of a SUV with only two car seats in the back, and a toddler bed gone. I dreamed of a hole in my heart so wide I cannot explain it's width to you in words.
I dreamed that no one understood why I couldn't accept what had happened, that everything had become so dramatic and so wrong so quickly and that I was the only one screaming in horror.
Everyone else seemed unphased by the change. In my dream, only I couldn't handle it.
Last night my mom went into the hospital.
They told me she had flu like sypmtoms.
Today they tell me things that are much worse.
I feel like I am standing on a cliff.