A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.

Monday, March 19, 2007

My Nightmare

I had a nightmare a few nights ago.
I dreamed the Baby Birth of Cool went into the hospital for the flu and never came out again. I dreamed of a SUV with only two car seats in the back, and a toddler bed gone. I dreamed of a hole in my heart so wide I cannot explain it's width to you in words.
I dreamed that no one understood why I couldn't accept what had happened, that everything had become so dramatic and so wrong so quickly and that I was the only one screaming in horror.
Everyone else seemed unphased by the change. In my dream, only I couldn't handle it.

Last night my mom went into the hospital.

They told me she had flu like sypmtoms.
Today they tell me things that are much worse.

I feel like I am standing on a cliff.


Elizabeth said...

Oh Gidge, honey. I'm emailing you my phone numbers and I want you to call me ANY TIME if you want to talk about what's happening, or anything else for that matter. I'm sending postive thoughts and vibes your way.

Devra said...

okay, this is much more important than the bullshit that happened to me today! Keep me up to date on this. let me know if you need me to put my hospital social worker hat on.

Alison said...

Keep the thoughts on your sleeve. You wear them poetically. I hope your mom is still getting better.