A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

A BS Way to Start The Day

There are a lot of really crappy ways to start the day, but I feel like outside of death & dismemberment sort of events, having a massive leg cramp AS your alarm goes up is top of my list.

I set the alarm early for a couple of reasons, yesterday was a family time festival and I love them BUT I NEED SOME TIME BY MYSELF, and I wanted a nice long slow shower that I wasn't busting a move to get ready. I'm going in late to work because Charlie has a dentist appt so this entire scenario was set up as a perfect Mom morning.

You already see the flaw in my plan don't you?

BEEP BEEP BEEP and as I reach across the four year old who got into my bed because she was scared from the Monster Mansion I apparently extended my leg in some magical fashion to cause me to cry out "OH FUCK".

This wakes no one in my house. Not the husband beside me, not the four year old on the other side of me. Not the three boys asleep in the next room. NO ONE STIRS when Mom yells an expletive at 630 am. This is probably more of a statement about me than them, isn't it?

I get up and hobble to the bathroom, because having had four kids plus one massive charlie horse in your leg is a recipe for wetting your pants if you aren't swift, and I make it so crisis averted there. The cramp is moving around to the front of my leg to add a shin splint sort of effect which I don't quite appreciate, honestly I'd rather it didn't bother.

I slather on some icy hot generic product and as I sit here now, the fire of 1000 suns is ordering my muscles to relax and CHILL OUT FOOL. I can now flex my foot and stretch my leg without screaming for mercy. I still need that shower so apparently can look forward to a steamy Mentholatum scented event which should be lovely, right?

 I had to take this picture because, Foghorn Leghorn. Seriously. Now if only my kid had not MOVED while shooting. Little nerd. Lol.