A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.
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Tuesday, January 20, 2015

How a Mom of Four Works Out

First of all you have to move the rocking horse, Hug Me Elmo and sundry Hot Wheels out of the way. Next I ask the twelve year old to work the PS4 so I can use the DVD. Turn on the work out I want to do, and begin. It goes like this.


  • Oldest son gets out trumpet and begins to play.
  • Instructor gives slow motion jab - cross motions
  • Miles runs up behind me and grabs my butt
  • Begin working out, shake off Miles and try to shut out background noise
  • Hear Julia say "I hate that sound that trumpet IS TOO LOUD"
  • Ignore, focus, step step jab step step jab
  • Louis says "Mom I can't focus, Charlie is pooping."
  • Ignore, Cross punch, cross, punch
  • Julia starts whining about the noise - I yell at everyone to leave me alone and promise to deal with Charlie in 18 minutes
  • Louis says "BUT HOW CAN I BREATHE THROUGH MY NOSE WHEN ALL I SMELL IS POOP"
  • Step Step kick jab step step kick jab
  • Julia brings her crayons and coloring books to the living room angrily
  • "MOM YOU KICKED MY CRAYONS!" 
  • I announce that everyone who isn't Charlie has to leave the living room now 
  • Side kick jab side kick jab
  • Julia arrives back in the living room and puts two q-tips in her ears to protest the noise
  • Hook, Jab, Hook, Jab, Hook jab, Back Kick, Side Kick
  • "Moom I HATE THE NOISE MAKE HIM STOP PLAYING THE TRUMPET"
  • "MOM CHARLIE IS GROSSING ME OUT"
  • Oh god did she just say Capoeira? Step step back step step back jab...
  • Hook Jab Step Step Hook Jab Step Step
  • "Mom, are you dance fighting?"
  • No
  • "Is there such a thing as dance fighting?"
I don't even know...
Oh, apparently there is.

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