After all, you catch glimpses of me via email, on the blog, maybe in SL - and you think I'm still me. If we talk on the phone, I probably sound the same unless you hear me. Really hear me.
I had company this weekend, someone I haven't seen since before I had kids and I was so happy to see her.
But I was a little sorry too - because I think the enormity of the chaos of our world was just overwhelming.
I have a five year old who never stops talking and 4 year old twins who never stop crying about something. There are diapers. There is backtalk. There is discipline. There is yelling, there are more diapers. There are tantrums. There is more discipline. There are kids shows. There are more kids shows. There are more diapers. There are more kids shows. There is noise. There is more noise. And there are more diapers.
What isn't there?
- Casual beers while watching TV.
- Adult television shows of any sort. (except American Idol once a year and even that takes place amongst the chaos and with a lot of rewinding).
- Network TV. The News.
- Quiet.
- Time out doing anything with another adult without three children hanging off of us.
- Time out alone with each other ever for any reason.
- Help with the children that isn't me or the husband. That's right. No help.
This is an alien concept for most people, but we have never had help with our children. We have never lived within 300 miles of family SINCE we've had kids and we've never had sitters (okay we flew my mother in to Tampa twice so we could go see Wicked). If our kids can't go, we don't go. Period.
I think that the chaos that we take for granted is like shock therapy for visitors to our house.
People think I'm still the same Gidge who drinks expensive beers, hangs out at bars and clubs seeing bands and being generally fabulous even if it's in my own mind. And I gotta tell you, as I sit here in my Walmart grandma-lookin shorts and tshirt.
She is dead.
So like I said, you don't know me anymore. I'm sorry I changed. I didn't mean to. It just kind of snuck up one me.
6 comments:
No, she isn't dead. She's still the kind-hearted, strongly opinionated, beautiful soul with a thriving family. Sure the situation around her has changed somewhat (ok radically) and the activities are completely different, but the same girl fascinated by life, lives.
It happens to the best of us. It usually makes us more interesting as well, not dead.
Perhaps I should've just said DEAD TIRED.
You're still the same girl I fell in love with, you're just on a different show now. "Gidge and Family" - a spinoff.
You'll only overwhelm the people who didn't have the wonderful, life-changing, sometimes tiring experience of parenthood. If you were the same carefree, wild woman that used to be my partner in crime 15 years ago, I would have nothing in common with you now. I like the new us.
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