A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Zen and the Art of Taking Inventory

We're taking Inventory for the next two days where I work.
I love inventory.
Inventory is the most stress free my life gets once a year.
Everyone in my company hates inventory, because attendance is compulsory once you get on the list, and once you get on THE LIST you're on it for life.
They bitch because it's hot (think non-climate controlled warehouse in Florida in August.). It's long, we start at 7am and are on our feet all day long. We'll get done around 5ish. If we do a good job and there aren't any system problems we'll be done some time around 2 on Tuesday. If things go poorly it could last until Weds.
And I love it.
Because my job is one of responsibility. I love it, I do. But for two days I get this luxury of NO responsibility. Just an RF scanner gun, a small tote containing stickers and a pen and some scrap paper......and me. I'm a fast auditor (someone else goes in front of us and COUNTS and then we go behind them and audit the count/re-count) and I enter those numbers into the RF gun, which enters them into our inventory system. I putz up and down the aisles alone (if they pair a newbie with them, I am sorry but I ditch them, I don't want idle chatter with some random person or to explain WHY I don't have to count every single bin - SOME numbers can be eyeballed after all)and I don't talk to anyone. I sing. I sing Pearl Jam and the Smiths (the Unhappy Birthday song seems to annoy people alot) and I sing Guns and Rose and Korn and Willie Nelson and Elvis or the Information Soceity......I run the gamut. I sing and I audit and I walk around up and down the aisles looking for spots where there are not any people to work.
I will get hot and I will get dirty. Twice during the day someone will walk up and down the aisles shouting BREAK TIME....and I will go to break and sit in the break room drinking water and just listen to whatever random tales of nothing that someone is telling.....and I will not say a word. I will smile and nod appropriately and get more water and then when someone calls BREAK OVER I will go back into the warehosue and start counting.
When it is lunch time I'll go get in line when I'm told to, and I'll eat quietly, I might talk a little about the progress of the count, and how far off the variances are but that's about all. I will eat more food than the food NAZI says is allowed but I'm a Director so she won't say a word. If other people want more food I'll go up and get that food for them, applying the say rule as above. (Last year she was insisting that people who had worked in a 110 degree whse could only have one slice of pizza as food for lunch, I am afraid I disagreed with that).

It is the most peaceful two days of my year at work. I could audit the entire warehouse myself I swear, if they wouldn't mind how long it took me.

Inventory rocks.