- Half the dishes. (take cups not saucers, cuz that's funny)
- Half the sheets- top or bottom but not both
- Half the food - bring Tupperware to dump out the bit you are taking with you Jon
- Half the curtains - I say depending on if you are right or left handed, choose the curtains on that side and take those
- Half the books and half the records/tapes/CDs
- Half the Wagon Wheel Coffee Table (see when Harry Met Sally)
- Half the kids- just take the 4 that don't sass
See it goes on and on. Just split that shit up. Like King Solomon and the baby, divide it in two and to the victors go the spoils. That works really well right? RIGHT?
In all seriousness, these are like the two sorriest people I have ever had the media keep forcing down my throat. Can't Paris Hilton do a porno film or pose naked with a snake or something?