48 Hours of eBay Customer Service - 180 Degrees of Satisfaction

In the last 48 hours I've had both the worst and the best service experience with eBay.

My company is having a Venetian Carnivale Masked ball in a week - and I need a cocktail or formal gown. My friend Cajsa suggested I check out eBay. I did some poking around - saw some interesting things (who knew they had clothes on eBay dude it's been too long) and so I decided to log in to watch some of them.

After all - one might be a winner.

I log in with my eBay sign on (surprisingly I remembered it - I knew it'd been FOREVER since I used it-translate=years) but when I logged in I got this wonky message.

"Your account has been deactivated due to inactivity. Click here and we'll call the phone number on your account file to verify your identity."

Umm, I don't know what number is on file but it isn't this one - so - I click the OTHER option to get a csr - a CHAT CSR which, if you are in the field you know is either one of the best or the worst in the room - depending on the culture.

THAT conversation went like this.

• CSR - Hi I'd be glad to help you can you verify the address as it appears on your account?


• ME - No I can't see my acct obviously - I don't know what is on it. It's been a long time. Here, it might be my Indianapolis address which was XXXXX.


• CSR - Nope, I'm sorry that isn't the address. I have one in Tampa.......


• ME - Oh, ok, then here is my Tampa address.........


• CSR - Great. That's the correct address. Now I just need to CALL you at the number on file....


• ME -Ummm, no, you can't do that - I haven't LIVED there in two years. That is why I'm contacting you.


• CSR - Oh......well then you'll just have to get a new account.


• ME - I don't want to get a new account. I want to use my account. Isn't there anything you can do - I can VERIFY all the Tampa but I haven't had that phone number in two years.


• CSR - Well you could send me over a faxed copy of a current utility bill from that address.


• ME -What? If I haven't lived there in two years, why would I have a utility bill? That doesn't make sense.


• CSR - Yeah I'm sorry you'll just want to open a new account.


• ME -So I have to open a new account because you can't just verify my info by making a phone call to a number I haven't had in two years?
• CSR -Yes - I'd just open a new account.

Sigh.

So today I TRIED. Guess what. I'm not ABLE to open a new account as my email address all tied up in the account that fucktard wouldn't open for me. So I go BACK into a chat session.

• ME -Hi (explains entire previous conversation) and can't open my account now and I want to use my SAME Account. Can you help me?
• CSR - Yes - just verify your account info for me at the Tampa address.
• ME - I do so.
• CSR -Please hold while I unlock your account.
• ME -I wait
• CSR -Thanks so much, you are unlocked! Welcome back to eBay!

Good God. Should it BE this hard? It's NOT Fort Knox people! National Security secrets are not traded on eBay.

Train your CSRs better eBay. You look like a bunch of chumps when your team can only spit out canned responses and can't actually solve problems.