367 Days Ago

My life went onto a semi.



And he had to leave behind his.
And I had to leave behind mine.

And we came to this place.


I don't know what to think about it yet. I can't say I like it or hate it. I suppose some of both. (Oh I HATE the apartment, don't let me mince words about that. Freaking gang ridden ghetto is what it IS. HATE the apartment. I'm talking about Georgia in General.)

I tell you what I like most, though.

I like that when I roll over at night, there are familiar arms that hold me and familiar feet to touch. That the person making my dinner always takes extra care not to put things in it that I don't like, because he loves me. I like the way he smells, even when he stinks.

I like it that no matter whether we stay here or there is another semi in the future, the humans in my life are here as they should be. And, according to the husband's most recent visit to the surgeon - they are going to be.

All his biopsies came back clear, and we'll do another CT scan in a short while to check up on what is going on with the lymph nodes.

I'd rejoice, but I think I'm too emotionally drained from the entire experience to even do that.

But I wanted to take a moment, to put down in words, how important he is to this family. He's the Mom and the Dad in many ways. We've been through a lot of things, and everything we go through only makes me realize how much he means to me. I was living in a silent terror of the unspeakable, that they were going to say "gee we're sorry but you're fucked." And they didn't say that.
I guess, at that point I just didn't know what to even say.

But God I'm Glad.