A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Gall Bladder - I Thought You Wuz All Bettah

Oh hell I've been poisoned. Those of you who follow along remember my joyous months earlier this year where I was rushed to the hospital in excruciating pain only to discover I had a gall stone. Right?

Well right after that, I learned that "Gee you might nevre be able to properly digest fat again."

Not to put too polite a spin on it - if you eat fat - it MIGHT, MIGHT come flying out your ass in a manner so disgusting that it makes you doubt that you even have insides left. It might do so in a manner of minutes after you eat it. About 30 to 45 to be exact.

I dealt with this for several weeks post surgery. This horrible rushing to the restroom, the pain, the embarrassment and frankly the overwhelming discomfort of it all.

But I thought it had gotten better. Until I ate Captain D's tonight. Oh hell. Oh freaking hell. I might die. I can't even write this post because I have to keep rushing to the bathroom in a MOST undignified manner.

I realize that Captain D's IS a grease factory but JESUS I thought that I had eaten plenty of greasy nasty food and that my liver had learned how to be my gall bladder. That was what was SUPPOSED to happen.

Tonight my liver said "NOT SO MUCH" and failed me completely.

Now if you will pardon me, I'll be in the restroom.


Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

Okay, but in your gall bladders defense no one should ever eat Captain Ds. Ever.