A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.
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Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

So tonight Sarah and Becky and I sat around Sarah's Mom's kitchen table and drank beers. We told stories, and laughed, and shared pictures, and laughed, and visited and tried to pretend like it wasn't the end of something. And although it isn't the END of anything, it's the end of this version of us, as friends. It's weird, isn't it? As kids you make friends based on who you like to play with. But as adults, it's hard to meet anyone that isn't "someone from work" so it was unusual to make such good friends - I wasn't planning to meet you guys. We met as we all three sat big bellied at Bamoms meetings, staring at each other wide eyed at the madness we were undertaking having these twin babies. Those babies are all 19 months old and Becky and Sarah are the best girlfriends I ever made as an adult. They are, in fact, the only girlfriends I ever made as an adult that I didn't meet at work. And even though we can still email every day and keep up I'm going to miss Sarah so very very much. I sat and cried my eyes out in my office when I got the email that it was official that she was leaving. Becky and I will have to each drink one more beer when we go out. That way it will be like Sarah is still here. And we'll have to swear more.....which won't be difficult for me at all. Bye Sarah........be safe. We'll miss you for always.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Feeding My Inner Fat Girl

Okay she's still pretty much outer Fat Girl as well..........but let's just say, that the punishment for eating like a hog for three days was visited on me last night. And all day. I've been enjoying the season, eating sweets and fatty foods and just not worrying about it. Then yesterday, I started feeling bad. Kind of achy, stomach crampy.
I went to the bathroom. Barfed. Felt a little better. Went to bed so Scott could help Santa. Got up a few hours later, barfed more. Went to bed, had the chills, and the aches and cramps. Got up, opened presents and stockings and had to run to the bathroom every 10 minutes as everything made it's exodus out the other end.
Took Immodium.
Took a nap (shivered, cramped but nothing nasty). Got up, felt better.
Ate.
Sick more.

Blech. Considering I just had one of the best Christmases ever I am miserable.

Perhaps this is some sort of yin/yang balancing of the universe. I received many fantastic material things. So I must physically suffer........

Ugh. I can't wait to go back to bed.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year




We took the Brute Squad to Disney (obvious from previous post) for a family vacation for five days, and to do all of the Disney Christmas stuff. It was extremely fun, actually. The freaking FREEZING cold weather plus all of the beautiful Disney decorations really put me into the Christmas spirit.
A few pics of us doing Disney stuff... Here Charlie checks out the lights at the Osborne FamilyLights at MGM (Just incredible if you've never been - I guarantee you have NEVER seen ANYTHING like this).

Miles is just hanging out at Epcot, enjoying the lovely fountain. And then here is Louis meeting a nice Goat. All in all, a great 5 Family Days together.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Christmas Wish


Here you see a little boy dreaming of everything he wants for Christmas......at the Happiest Place on Earth.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

File Me Under WTF?

I blatantly stole this off of Kristine's blog, but man......I found about 10 things on here that were just SO wrong I had to share.
And on the SKYDIVING picture.......if the chicks boobs are doing THAT....is the guys DICK MADE OF LEAD that it isn't doing the same or is this some photoshop trick?
I am fascinated by this whole thing.......ew.....and Grandma and Grandpa. Yuck.
Grandma and Grandpa are completely grossing me out. Ewwwwww.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Hey I know that Dude - Or how the Internet Makes the World Smaller

So I was on the internet reading email about my Liberian relatives who need my asistance, college girls whose daddies aren't home and really great mortgages when a friend of mine popped up online and started chatting. I was in sort of a bleh mood, kind of tired and overwhelmed and basically crabby when he started babbling about this LIZARD he likes. I was like "gee that's fascinating" and I guess to further FASCINATE me he pushes me this link to look at. I looked at this random lizard, I can't even believe I actually pulled up the page - it would be more like me NOT to pull it up and then go "oh yeah that's interesting" because that is the sort of asshole I can be. But I DID pull it up, and I was like "yeah blue lizard, whatever" when I noticed the caption. I said "hey, I think I know that dude" which was deemed unlikely by my friend.
What were the odds, after all, that someone a bajillion miles away would send me a link with a picture of someone I met since I've moved to Florida? It was even suggested that I wasn't "cool" enough to know someone like this.
Well guess what party people? I am cool enough. That link is indeed my friend and his lizard so there.
And the internet makes the world a little smaller........and a little CREEPIER!

Sunday, December 11, 2005

The Grown Up Boyfriends

STEVE
My first real grown up boyfriend is the second Steve. I have to blog sensitively on this topic......because I still feel bad about the ways things fell apart between S2 and me. They were mostly my fault, or perhaps they were both of our faults but I didn't really act very nicely at the end. Steve and I were friends as part of a group that all hung out together and had gone to highschool together. Sometime I think we just started dating because we were the odd two out. But despite the "convenience" factor of us dating........Steve was nice. He was well read, had interest in art, movies, music etc. He didn't like to do all of the things I did - he preferred quiet things, more cultured things sometimes, but sometimes just more geeky intellectual things. But regardless he was fun to hang out with. And I think I loved him a lot. I'm not sure that I was ever IN love with him, though - which was a distinction I wasn't mature enough to make at the time. We dated for what seemed like a long time.......it was in fact probably a couple of years. Maybe as many as three. At one point we decided we were engaged.....that it only made sense to get married. No formal proposition took place, we just decided it was what we'd do after he graduated from Ball State. I started buying Brides magazines, picking out patterns and bridesmaid dresses secure in the knowledge that at some point in the future Steve and I would get married.
Things began to fall apart between us when I moved into an appt with Laura. My own independence began to be important to me. It didn't seem important to Steve - this independence I was craving. There were probably a lot more things wrong between us, but I still like him enough not to air them publicly. I think a lot can be said to the fact that I was just a jerk to him at the end. I broke up with him once......I don't remember why or how. But he launched a campaign to win me back, playing the "let's be friends" cards and I went with it for a while. Probably because I liked him and I DO like him. We went out one night to the SLIPPERY NOODLE and I had a couple of drinks and sobbed that I missed him and that I had planned my life with him ("Well I've been afraid of changing, 'cause I've built my life around you").......and we were back together, whammo.
We broke up again about 6 months later........maybe less. Because by that time I realized I wasn't in love with him and I wasn't going to meet anyone, and neither was he, if we kept on like this. I wasn't very nice to him and while I'll laugh about it and act like I'm "just that mean" in reality I've always felt quite bad. Steve is a good guy he deserves someone who is not a jerk like me. I was the wrong girl for him, and I still am. I hope he has found someone and just hasn't bothered to tell me, because he still hates me - which I deserve.
Kayo -
Kayo was only a boyfriend in the loosest of terms.......but one of my litmus for whether or not you fall under the "boyfriend" or "hook up" category is whether or not we actually had dates, which we did. Also - he used the L word on me, a lot. And I used it back. Kayo is his own entity and if you would like to meet him I will introduce you and then you will know why I'm still amused by him. I consider him a friend and always will, even if he's like the horniest boy I know. He's a good guy despite his faults, which are legion, but he has heart a big heart, and a good heart, even if he's running on a set of social morales that aren't quite the same as society's.
I won't even go into why we are friends and not anything else, I suppose it's because one of us wasn't nearly as in love as the other one thought. Or perhaps it's because we define love differently. But that's okay - I don't regret any of it, because if there had been no Kayo, I would have never met Scott.

And if I had never met Scott, my house would not be populated by three monkeys named Louis, Miles and Charlie. And I wouldn't trade those little toads for anything in the entire world.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

The College Boys

You know, the college boys weren't really that abundant. I didn't date much, I hung around with girl friends, went to parties and danced with a lot of guys but spent most of my time with my girls. I am not sorry about that, it was a lot of fun. As I reckon it, I actually only had two boyfriends during the years that fell under COLLEGE
  • Donn X - again, another X. He played Baseball for Indiana State University and apparently was pretty good because he talked to major league scouts pretty regularly. Maybe he ended up playing in the majors, I have no idea. I remember he spelled his first name with 2 NNs which was pretentious and annoying. He was mostly vain and prissy, terribly interested in his body (which was FINE) and how people looked. But he was sort of cool to a Freshman Co-Ed, he was playing Varsity Ball and was good looking. I don't even have a good memory of what he looked like except that he was good looking and everyone thought so. Donn and I started going out right after school started, dating through fall break and then we broke up right after the first of the year, so that was about 5 months of dating or so, maybe four. One of the most memorable things about Donn was not Donn himself, it was dance that he was SUPPOSED to go with to, but since we broke up my friend Tim went instead. (I had a much better time with Tim, I am sure!) But since I had talked Donn and his animal prowess up to all my sorority sisters (I had just pledged) they all assumed Tim was Donn and were giving him the KNOWING EYE. Tim eventually fashioned himself a sign that said "My name is not Donn" and wore it around all night. At the end of the night we made a "man" out of tinsel and foil decorations and hung the sign around it's neck. I have a picture of it somewhere. How did we break up? He quit calling, and quit returning calls. The most chicken-shit of all break up tactics.
  • One interlude - my one and only blind date. I don't even know his name. This annoying pseudo-friend who lived on the floor below me had her home town honey boyfriend coming in from Cornfield county and wanted me to double date with his "best friend" who was coming in. We met a Denny's. I have never in my life smelled a person who smelled like this. He looked like Napoleon Dynamite, only NOT AS GOOD LOOKING, and he smelled like ASS, FEET and ARMPITS. Oh god. We walked back to their hotel from Denny's, the girl and the boyfriend asked us to go get some sodas adn when we got back they had locked the door and were going at it. I ended up walking back to the dorm like four miles in the rain, because El Stinko asked if he could kiss me. Ummmmm, no.
  • Steve the First - Steve the first was a complete twit who worked at the pizza joint I worked with. (what is with all the TWITS I dated?) He was sort of ugly in a Steve Perry way but I was fascinated with him for reasons I don't understand. Then at some point in the time of dating, I figured out he was still dating this girl in HIGHSCHOOL, ewwww. He wouldn't break up with her........and well we never spoke again. I don't think we ever broke up, we just stopped short.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

All the Boys - PART Deux

After the tumultous middle school romances I went on to high school and tumultous high school romances. My first and many-time boyfriend in High School was the infamous

  • Simon The BIGGER. Simon was famous for his irreverant wit and his goofy sense of humor. Simon wasn't good looking by any conventional standards, but he had a charming smile and sparkling eyes that went with his personality. He also smelled like Finesse shampoo. Simon sent me a note while I was home sick with mono our freshman year. He had composed a silly poem in his BASIC class (remember BASIC?) and ended it with "WILL YOU GO WITH ME?" Simon would write me notes telling me how much he loved me every day, composing poetry of a dubious nature on 3 x 5 cards always extolling my beauty and how much he loved me. I think one of the best parts of being Simon's girlfriend was HOW MUCH his mother hated me. She caught us making out at a basketball game once and shrieked at him in front of everyone that we were "breaking school rules". Simon and I made out and held hands all the time, but despite his very amorous behavior he much more of a gentleman than my previous boyfriend........and I always thought that this meant that Simon really DID love me. And then....one day, it happened. Danica. The EVIL Danica showed up at Speech Team practice wearing Simon's Police Concert Buttons....buttons that could only have been gotten at the Synchronicity Tour Concert which only Simon went to.......NOT THE EVIL Danica. Danica was wearing Simon's buttons on her denim jacket. Buttons he had NEVER allowed me to wear, buttons he had STEADFASTLY refused to allow me to wear........and later that day there was another tearful scene in a bandroom, as Simon told me that he wanted to be friends and lied to me about the evil Danica. Later that day, to cheer me up, some of his friends told me that Simon had really been in love with me.........he had even considered joining the marching band to spend time with me.
  • Simon Blight - Simon 2 was clearly my Simon rebound. He was English and nice to me and pretty much a twit in most ways. He was older, had his own car and looked a lot older so he could buy booze...which was cool. However he was also possesive and annoying and although we dated for most of the year and the next summer....he got on my last nerves when he started talking about when we got married that I wasn't going to the hospital to have our babies, that I'd have them at home. I broke up with him after watching the Miss America pageant. I never really liked the Pageant but I watched it that night to get on his nerves. Then I told him I didn't want to date him anymore and he was the one who cried for a change. I felt sort of bad about that, because I probably didn't love him at all....or maybe I did but then he became annoying.
  • Clark Atkins - Clark Atkins was the older brother of one of my friends, Brian Atkins. He was in college when I was as Junior, and I can't for the life of me remember how we ran into each other to start dating. But his brother and I were always good friends, so it's possible that we ran into each other at their house when Clark was home from college. Clark and I went to the movies a lot when he was home, and he called me all the time running up a CRAZY phone bill that got him into a lot of trouble with his dad. Clark would send me boxes of presents and sent me the BIGGEST box of Valentines presents I've ever received. He agreed to go to Prom with me it was the coolest thing in the world. I bought a lovely pink dress to wear (as scene on Christa in her Promapalooza pic with Fred) and we went out to dinner at the Eagle's Nest at the Hyatt Regency and then we went to Prom and After prom, in the youthful glow of love. After Prom he drove me back to my house, dropped me off and said "Good night." walking away without so much as a kiss. He never returned another call or wrote another letter. I never knew what happened or why he broke up with me. I ran into him once in a Denny's three or four years later and he popped over to be all chummy. I blew him off so rudely "Did I make a mistake and ask you to sit here?" he left (did he deserve it? - YES!) Then I ran into him again at his brother's wedding in 1999 or 2000 in Kentucky. He was there with his wife and little boy and sat down at my table with a glazed "nostalgic lust" look on his face, leaned forward and said "You know I think about you all the time." Scott was sitting next to me, Clark has no idea how close he came to getting popped, but I don't think that Scott heard him.
  • Simon Big Simon - Simon made a brief return after Clark and the Prom incident, but once again decided that he'd rather be friends. I wasn't heart broken, but it was amusing how many people were "so happy" we wer back together again. I think it was about 3 months of back together, and then back apart again.
  • Mike Dahl - Mike is the mullethead in my Promapalooza photo. Mike was my boyfriend ever so briefly, we were friends who started "dating" when we went to Spring break together with a group. We dated through spring break and then a few weeks after, just long enough to confirm our date for prom. Then he promptly broke up with me but didn't understand why I didn't want to go to Prom with him. I went, but it was an annoying drag.
  • Back to Simon Big Simon AGAIN - I was older and far more bitter the last time around with Simon. And we were even more short lived. It was almost immediately after Prom if not before and we went to the Academic decathalon together. He was dating some other random girl but came over and started talking about getting back together. I demanded he go and break up with her RIGHT THEN, and then come back and tell me it was done. Then I took him to the library to spend quality time alone together. But I wasn't amused by him anymore and I thought he was sort of a twit at this point in time. The best part of being with Simon that LAST time around was hooking up in his evil mother's bed (of course shortly thereafter we found out she was quite sick, so that isn't a nice thing to say, but she was never nice to me regardless). I took great satisfaction in that.....being in the bed was better than being with Simon. I don't even remember how we broke up that last time, but I'm about 100% sure I didn't even care.

And that is the end of High School Boyfriends......................

Next Up - College

Monday, December 05, 2005

To All The Boys I've Loved Before........

I have decided that I will make a list of all of my failed relationships and how they ended. I am unsure WHY or HOW this came into my mind.....but I have been thinking about all the boys who came before a lot lately and wondered what happened to them? It's weird how at one point in your life someone can mean EVERYTHING and now suddenly you're like "man, who was that guy?" Let's start at the beginning. (for those of you counting, this only counts BOYFRIENDS not random dudes I hooked up with regardless of how frequently)
  • Greg Mead. Greg Mead was my boyfriend for a ridiculous amount of time, something like 5th through 7th grade. He lived way far out in the country but went to school with me and church with me. He was first chair Trombone, I was second chair trombone. Greg and I were allowed to walk downtown together. This sounds so quaint, but we actually used to go to this little soda fountain, get ice cream sodas and SHARE Them....we'd hold hands and talk about music and movies and books (the NARNIA books were the rage with our set.) "Greggy" was actually one of the first words my brother Matt could say as a baby, Greg was around a lot. One of the hijinks that WE used to think was BAAAD behavior was that we'd sneak chocolates into our band concerts, and when the other bands would play, we'd sit and eat them. And for some reason Greg was always the kid who snuck a centerfold onto the conductor's score...he was a funny kid. I didn't actually break up with Greg or vice versa....I just moved away. It's weird to think about it, because I don't think I actually ever told him goodbye. I remember the day my cat died, and Greg came running across the cafeteria to give me the biggest hug while I sobbed about it.......but I don't remember telling him goodbye on my last day of school. You would think I would have.
  • Scott X - I don't remember Scott X's last name. Wow, he was memorable. I met him when I was at Ball State for a weekend, I think with Job's Daughters. DeMolay were having their Conclave there that weekend and we had a mixer (for those non-masonic raised children, Job's Daughters and DeMolay are masonic organizations for your girls and boys). I was in 8th grade. He used to ride his bike all of the way to my house that summer (it was actually before 8th grade - the summer before). I just remember he'd show up all hot and sweaty and sort of gross. It was extremely sweet.....but still gross because he'd had to ride like 10 miles to get to my house from where he'd live. Our dates consisted of going to Taco Bell and going to Rax. I think I used to let him kiss me but he slobbered too much. He gave me a ring. It was a little gold ring (10k!) that I think he had pilfered out of his mothers jewelery box, it has three diamond chips on it. When I broke up with him he was really pissed off at me that I didn't have it ......I had lost it in what can only be described as my own mindlessness. I didn't actually ever break up with him.....I think I just stopped taking the calls when he called and then stopped calling him back. He showed up a few times all pissed off and wanting the ring. He actually showed up like TWO YEARS later demanding the ring, at one of my highschool marching band practices. The low brass guys about beat him down because he got into my face in front of them. Don't mess with low brass guys. They are usually big and mean.
  • John Bunte - John Bunte was my boyfriend for 8th grade. I actually went to some dance with him. He was my first horny boyfriend. I had previously probably HAD horny boyfriends but they were too shy or nervous or whatever to let me know what was up. John was not shy. John had an erection any time I was near him and he was INTO it.....which is sort of funny now that I think about it. It's possible John had had sex and I didn't know it, but I don't know. I know he was the first real penis I ever saw hard, and he was the first boy that I ever let see my boobs. I used to torture my girlfriends with tales of his giant penis, but in fact I can't really remember if it was giant. It SEEMED giant. But I suppose it probably wasn't. John and I went to a dance together, I wish I knew were the picture was, I think it was a sock hop or some such awful thing. John broke up with me one morning while I was putting my books away in my cubicle in the bandroom. He walked over and said "Hey I was thinking, we should break up and be friends, okay?" OKAY? OKAY? I showed you my boobs! I touched your disgusting man thing, MORE THAN ONCE! But alas, I stood with tears running down my face and said okay no problem and then was sad for the rest of the day. I was probably over it by the end of the day, I don't remember long term sadness........but I do remember standing at the cubicles where we kept our books, with my mascara running, and holding a red folder while he babbled on about how it would still be cool to be friends. I sort of always hated him in high school but was never sure why I didn't like him. I suppose it had a lot to do with that red folder incident.

coming soon........HIGH SCHOOL BOYFRIENDS.........including the incredible repeating SIMON WHOSE NAME SHALL NOT BE SPOKEN AT HIS REQUEST AS HE IS SHAMED BY HIS BAD BEHAVIOR........(okay not actually shamed but I think he was horrified at how good my memory was)

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Misbegotten Pecan Bars

Dammit.
Why does everything require an 8 X 8 pan now? CRAP! I had these pecan bars (like a pecan pie) only a bar thing that I was making to take to Kurt's for Louis and Lily's play date and DAGGONE IT it required a stupid pan I didn't have.
I have SUCCESSFULLY built a dam about of aluminum foil many a time though. I know how to bank up the crust against the foil.
FAILURE.
My delicious treat ran all out one side while I had to run to the bathroom with Louis. I had been watching it carefully as there had been MINOR spillover but I had propped up the pan with foil so it leaned a bit to the good side. Alas.........there will be no treats taken to Lily's for our playdate. I cannot describe how sad it is to see the gooey sweet center all leaked over to the WRONG side of the pan.