Live From The Wang: File Me Under WTF?

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

File Me Under WTF?

I blatantly stole this off of Kristine's blog, but man......I found about 10 things on here that were just SO wrong I had to share.
And on the SKYDIVING picture.......if the chicks boobs are doing THAT....is the guys DICK MADE OF LEAD that it isn't doing the same or is this some photoshop trick?
I am fascinated by this whole thing.......ew.....and Grandma and Grandpa. Yuck.
Grandma and Grandpa are completely grossing me out. Ewwwwww.

17 comments:

april said...: I have to tell you that now, my boobs hurt. I'm sick to my stomache, and my eyes...my eyes...LMAO!!; Wed Dec 14, 09:03:00 AM
Heidi said...: Hey Gidge,

I suck. I just thought you should know.; Wed Dec 14, 01:48:00 PM
heidi said...: I am a complete waste of a human being.

The REAL heidi; Wed Dec 14, 02:14:00 PM
heidi said...: no, shut up.

I am not a waste, I am just a slut.; Wed Dec 14, 02:14:00 PM
Rick said...: Whoever this Heidi person is should shut her yap and go home.

Good pics by the way, but Heidi is ruining your otherwise great blog.; Wed Dec 14, 02:58:00 PM
heidi said...: ha, ha, ha.

I got you all fooled. Rick is actually me, Heidi.

I am so crazy, I bet you thought that was really a different person.

I am the nuttiest.

I hate my life.; Wed Dec 14, 03:01:00 PM
heidi said...: I am desperate for attention.

please, somebody, love me.; Wed Dec 14, 03:50:00 PM
heidi said...: Actually, Rick, (and Bridgette), whoever this person is that's purporting to be Heidi, they obviously have fixated on me and don't want me posting anything on this site.

Their only mistake? Well, I NEVER post anything short, I have compulsive diarrhea of the fingers (sorry for the visual), so in addition to having no life, an unhealthy condition that may require medication (I can recommend something for them, I take several varieties), they are also not very observant OR intelligent.

Signed,

The fucking tool*

*(does that mean if you put a quarter up my ass I vibrate, or does it mean something like I'm part of a vast right-wing conspiracy...oh, yeah, that's been done already); Wed Dec 14, 04:35:00 PM
heidi said...: Hi, it’s Heidi again.

I write so much because I do not have any friends. My social skills are nonexistent and I stink like feet. I am so lonely I try to force my creepy, creepy self into any situation where people have to listen to my bullshit (and I know its bullshit because I use parentheses so fucking much). I also like to use a lot of footnotes*.

I have a problem that prevents me from shutting the fuck up**. This has cost me dearly in life (not that I actually have a life).

I think that I am very important. I also think that TYPING IN ALL CAPS MAKES A STATEMENT***

I am a miserable person and I should go take a nap.

(Maybe I will shove something up my ass and make stupid references too crap nobody cares about)****

*footnotes are for ass-clowns
**I never shut the fuck up, ever
***ALL CAPS ARE FOR SUCKS
****my references are stupid; Wed Dec 14, 07:16:00 PM
Heidi said...: hello out there, strange pathetic person...

since you seem to have a deep seated need to try to get my attention, and since you obviously don't care that you are ruining Bridgette's blog, I have an email address that you can send the large volume of your senseless ramblings to.

nolifestinkyfeetbigbrownwinkie@yahoo.com

that will be your very own special place, because you have special needs.

I promise to read all your pathetic cries for help and give them just the attention they deserve.

Bridgette, as always, can reach me at my legitimate email address, which she has, and uses, whenever we communicate in a non-blog manner.

so, while I have to say, thanks for all your insights into my drab, hopeless, basically shithole existence, could you now stop cramming them into a place that they do not belong?

I'll say no more to you, regardless.; Wed Dec 14, 11:18:00 PM
Gidge said...: My favorite part about this entire exchange is the reference to "ass clowns".
I once saw a Porno Movie called ASS CLOWNS. Not nearly as humorous as one might expect.
Now.......everyone........
STOP IT.
(unless you're going to talk more about ASS CLOWNS); Wed Dec 14, 11:29:00 PM
Becky said...: Hey, Bridgette, I just tagged you!; Thu Dec 15, 10:40:00 AM
heidi said...: You just had to mention porno flicks, didn't you?

Living with lots of guy roommates, and having guy friends, we had smut nights on a regular basis.

I have a candidate for the best porno flick ever.

I think the title was 'Raw Talent', but someone told me years later that there were a bunch of films with this name, and I don't have any other identifying info other than 'story' line.

Starts with cute guy (blond, looks slightly like the original Dukes of Hazzard younger brother). He's working at some little cafe, and a sour puss old woman comes in, bitches him out for no apparent reason, then gives him her order for a turkey sandwich in a really snotty way.

He proceeds into kitchen, gets inspired look on his face while staring at a photo of girlfriend that is hanging above the counter.

Takes turkey carcass in hand, takes equipment out, and proceeds to gratify himself with the nearest orifice.

Coup de grace, he spooeys all over her sandwich, and brings it out to her with a smile.

Next memorable scene -

His geeky ugly friend is going to a casting call to be a porn star. Brings cute guy along with him for 'moral' support?

Smarmy ugly friend goes down on porn actress while chewing gum. Gum gets caught in her pubes.

He doesn't get the job, but cute friend, voila! is plucked from anonymity for his 'Raw Talent' when he shaves the girl and saves the day.

There's also a great grudge scene with the overbearing, manipulative woman agent that was a big hit with the boys.

~~

Okay, I'm amazed and slightly appalled at how much of this movie I remember.

I swear it has Ron Jeremy in it, too, the funniest and ugliest man ever in porn.

I would love to know if anyone else has seen this movie, what the title is, if I am remembering it right???

One of my roommates also had a video titled "I Like to Watch Swedish Pornography", that was horrible.

Indescribably bad. No farm animals or feces or anything sick like that, just really poor quality and weird looking people.

Ass clowns, on the other hand, just sounds frightening.; Thu Dec 15, 06:47:00 PM
heidi said...: I STILL CAN'T SHUT UP.

What is the matter with me? I do not know, I think I am just so stupid that I can't stop. I KNOW nodody want to read my crap (I know because they tell me) but I just keep on writing.

I don't even read it, if I did I might realize how mind numbingly simple I am (and we can't have that can we)

I know, I know, most of you would rather die than have to read one more word from me, but I keep on posting because I have absolutely nothing else to do. I know that it is me ruining this blog but I NEED to have people pay attention to me.

I can't stop

I can't stop

I can't stop

I can't stop; Fri Dec 16, 07:33:00 AM
Anonymous said...: That which we don't like in others is what we often see reflected in ourselves.; Fri Dec 16, 04:08:00 PM
april said...: I think that I agree with anonymous....lol. Except, I liked the Ass clown too!!!!; Mon Dec 19, 03:41:00 AM
Running2Ks said...: That is so wrong on the boobage. OMG!; Tue Dec 20, 04:49:00 PM