The College Boys

You know, the college boys weren't really that abundant. I didn't date much, I hung around with girl friends, went to parties and danced with a lot of guys but spent most of my time with my girls. I am not sorry about that, it was a lot of fun. As I reckon it, I actually only had two boyfriends during the years that fell under COLLEGE

• Donn X - again, another X. He played Baseball for Indiana State University and apparently was pretty good because he talked to major league scouts pretty regularly. Maybe he ended up playing in the majors, I have no idea. I remember he spelled his first name with 2 NNs which was pretentious and annoying. He was mostly vain and prissy, terribly interested in his body (which was FINE) and how people looked. But he was sort of cool to a Freshman Co-Ed, he was playing Varsity Ball and was good looking. I don't even have a good memory of what he looked like except that he was good looking and everyone thought so. Donn and I started going out right after school started, dating through fall break and then we broke up right after the first of the year, so that was about 5 months of dating or so, maybe four. One of the most memorable things about Donn was not Donn himself, it was dance that he was SUPPOSED to go with to, but since we broke up my friend Tim went instead. (I had a much better time with Tim, I am sure!) But since I had talked Donn and his animal prowess up to all my sorority sisters (I had just pledged) they all assumed Tim was Donn and were giving him the KNOWING EYE. Tim eventually fashioned himself a sign that said "My name is not Donn" and wore it around all night. At the end of the night we made a "man" out of tinsel and foil decorations and hung the sign around it's neck. I have a picture of it somewhere. How did we break up? He quit calling, and quit returning calls. The most chicken-shit of all break up tactics.
• One interlude - my one and only blind date. I don't even know his name. This annoying pseudo-friend who lived on the floor below me had her home town honey boyfriend coming in from Cornfield county and wanted me to double date with his "best friend" who was coming in. We met a Denny's. I have never in my life smelled a person who smelled like this. He looked like Napoleon Dynamite, only NOT AS GOOD LOOKING, and he smelled like ASS, FEET and ARMPITS. Oh god. We walked back to their hotel from Denny's, the girl and the boyfriend asked us to go get some sodas adn when we got back they had locked the door and were going at it. I ended up walking back to the dorm like four miles in the rain, because El Stinko asked if he could kiss me. Ummmmm, no.
• Steve the First - Steve the first was a complete twit who worked at the pizza joint I worked with. (what is with all the TWITS I dated?) He was sort of ugly in a Steve Perry way but I was fascinated with him for reasons I don't understand. Then at some point in the time of dating, I figured out he was still dating this girl in HIGHSCHOOL, ewwww. He wouldn't break up with her........and well we never spoke again. I don't think we ever broke up, we just stopped short.