A Shower Of One's Own

Virginia Wolfe argued that to write fiction, women must have money and a room of one's own. I think that largely, we've come past the money part. Not that we're all rich, but women in the workforce are no longer a concept but a normal way of life.

I don't need a room of my own, because I like sharing my room with my husband and with a two year old about to transition to her very own big girl room. It's not a bad thing. It might not be my dream room but it's where I sleep and dream and the people I love are near.

No, what I need is a shower of my own.

Don't get me wrong I HAVE one. But unless I'm in there in the wee AM hours, it's not mine. The room is usually inhabited by at least one sprite singing, dancing and generally being loud and somewhat annoying in the mirror.

I was considering this, during my early AM shower this morning. I was letting the conditioner soak into my hair, slathering myself with some of my favorite hard milled soap ever. I was head to toe good smells and soapy slathery happiness when it occurred to me.

This is peace.

I've moved past the point where someone needs to be in the bathroom with me always when I use the toilet (well at least I get to escape at work) but showering....showering is bliss. It's hot water and steam and calm. I love showers. I feel refreshed and new and relaxed. When my kids are shouting and carrying on, it's a function of getting clean. It's not pleasant. I liken it to my 6 minute showers of high school. Just as fast as I can go and be socially acceptable.

Can I live in the shower?



Tweet

A Shower Of One's Own

Virginia Wolfe argued that to write fiction, women must have money and a room of one's own. I think that largely, we've come past the money part. Not that we're all rich, but women in the workforce are no longer a concept but a normal way of life.

I don't need a room of my own, because I like sharing my room with my husband and with a two year old about to transition to her very own big girl room. It's not a bad thing. It might not be my dream room but it's where I sleep and dream and the people I love are near.

No, what I need is a shower of my own.

Don't get me wrong I HAVE one. But unless I'm in there in the wee AM hours, it's not mine. The room is usually inhabited by at least one sprite singing, dancing and generally being loud and somewhat annoying in the mirror.

I was considering this, during my early AM shower this morning. I was letting the conditioner soak into my hair, slathering myself with some of my favorite hard milled soap ever. I was head to toe good smells and soapy slathery happiness when it occurred to me.

This is peace.

I've moved past the point where someone needs to be in the bathroom with me always when I use the toilet (well at least I get to escape at work) but showering....showering is bliss. It's hot water and steam and calm. I love showers. I feel refreshed and new and relaxed. When my kids are shouting and carrying on, it's a function of getting clean. It's not pleasant. I liken it to my 6 minute showers of high school. Just as fast as I can go and be socially acceptable.

Can I live in the shower?



Tweet

She's A Digi-Girl

I didn't know it, but the girl is probably going to be nerdier than her mother. She's definitely a mini-me in a lot of ways, but I often think I see more of HERSELF in her than anyone. Her father disagrees. He thinks she's me in miniature with all of my likes and dislikes and willingness to let you know what they are loudly.

It occurred to me last night how much like me she is, when after stories she carried the book back to my room and crawled into bed with me. "Read again for Julia," she said. 

I was brushing my teeth, putting on lotion, telling her that we'd just read that story - she didn't want it again did she? And she insisted yes, she wanted it again.

I thought I was being slick, when I turned out the light and slipped into bed beside her. I said "But it's dark, Mommy can't read in the dark."

At which point she said "You  need your phone, here Mommy," and reached over to my bedside table to grab my iPhone. "Make the light Mommy."

And with that, I realized, my two year old knew I had the flashlight app. It was time to read.

 

Yep, she's me. I like me though. That's probably a good thing.

  Tweet

She's A Digi-Girl

I didn't know it, but the girl is probably going to be nerdier than her mother. She's definitely a mini-me in a lot of ways, but I often think I see more of HERSELF in her than anyone. Her father disagrees. He thinks she's me in miniature with all of my likes and dislikes and willingness to let you know what they are loudly.

It occurred to me last night how much like me she is, when after stories she carried the book back to my room and crawled into bed with me. "Read again for Julia," she said. 

I was brushing my teeth, putting on lotion, telling her that we'd just read that story - she didn't want it again did she? And she insisted yes, she wanted it again.

I thought I was being slick, when I turned out the light and slipped into bed beside her. I said "But it's dark, Mommy can't read in the dark."

At which point she said "You  need your phone, here Mommy," and reached over to my bedside table to grab my iPhone. "Make the light Mommy."

And with that, I realized, my two year old knew I had the flashlight app. It was time to read.

 

Yep, she's me. I like me though. That's probably a good thing.

  Tweet

Please Don't Hump Aunt Suzie

You know, we look normal enough from a distance. It's kind of like our family is a Monet. So lovely from a distance. People even remarked, as we took an early evening stroll through the park on our way to the playground "What a lovely family you have." Then you get up close and you're like OH HELL WTF?

We have our adventures and our tears, our gains and our losses. But we also have, this ridiculous thing called AUTISM that drives behaviors that I'm starting to wonder how we're even supposed to handle.

The oldest boy is 10 and I'm 100% sure he knows he's a boy. I've never had to have the "please don't grope your crotch in front of other people" conversation with him. I think he would die of embarrassment if I did.

But the twins? Oh god. They've discovered that they are are boys, and can take around with them their favorite new toy. How do you react against this behavior with a child you can't actually CONVERSE with?

I mean, redirection only gets you so far. I've had screaming, raving tantrums when I suggested that one of them stop humping a pillow in the living room. Alas, I can't say "Why don't you go hump that pillow in the privacy of your bedroom, my little prince?"

Well, I could say it. It'd be pointless but I could say it.

So when one of them, in the midst of a very excited hug for their visiting Aunties became TOO excited, well then the most embarrassing phrase of my parenthood was born.

"Please don't hump Aunt Suzie."

I have an arsenal of tactics for "typical children". Don't make it a big deal. Don't make sex dirty. Stress privacy and healthy body conscious behaviors. Yadda yadda yadda yadda.

But my mostly nonverbal 8 year old humping a Tonka truck? THERE IS NO BOOK FOR THAT.

I wrote this blog post, because, no one talks about it. I can't be alone. Even higher functioning kids on the spectrum, it has to be an issue. But, I'm going to talk about everything because someone has to.

And if I figure this out - I'll be sure to let you know.




Tweet

Please Don't Hump Aunt Suzie

You know, we look normal enough from a distance. It's kind of like our family is a Monet. So lovely from a distance. People even remarked, as we took an early evening stroll through the park on our way to the playground "What a lovely family you have." Then you get up close and you're like OH HELL WTF?

We have our adventures and our tears, our gains and our losses. But we also have, this ridiculous thing called AUTISM that drives behaviors that I'm starting to wonder how we're even supposed to handle.

The oldest boy is 10 and I'm 100% sure he knows he's a boy. I've never had to have the "please don't grope your crotch in front of other people" conversation with him. I think he would die of embarrassment if I did.

But the twins? Oh god. They've discovered that they are are boys, and can take around with them their favorite new toy. How do you react against this behavior with a child you can't actually CONVERSE with?

I mean, redirection only gets you so far. I've had screaming, raving tantrums when I suggested that one of them stop humping a pillow in the living room. Alas, I can't say "Why don't you go hump that pillow in the privacy of your bedroom, my little prince?"

Well, I could say it. It'd be pointless but I could say it.

So when one of them, in the midst of a very excited hug for their visiting Aunties became TOO excited, well then the most embarrassing phrase of my parenthood was born.

"Please don't hump Aunt Suzie."

I have an arsenal of tactics for "typical children". Don't make it a big deal. Don't make sex dirty. Stress privacy and healthy body conscious behaviors. Yadda yadda yadda yadda.

But my mostly nonverbal 8 year old humping a Tonka truck? THERE IS NO BOOK FOR THAT.

I wrote this blog post, because, no one talks about it. I can't be alone. Even higher functioning kids on the spectrum, it has to be an issue. But, I'm going to talk about everything because someone has to.

And if I figure this out - I'll be sure to let you know.




Tweet

Mother Son Bonding - 2013 Edition

We invest a lot of ourselves into our children. You have to in this world, or in any world. I think that it's likely  that in ANY time or place, children that weren't invested in grow up poorly.

While it's important to us to bring him along and show him the world, I think it's also important for us to do things WITH him that he wants to do, including video games.

I always sort of shudder when I hear people talk about games their kids play, when in fact as parents they don't know ANYTHING about them. How do you KNOW what's going on if you don't play it yourself?

It happens that the husband and I are gamers. So this isn't a stretch for us at all, in fact it's right in our bailiwick. But what's interesting is the bonding time that has come from us playing with him. The boy and I have had lots of questing adventures. We've made toons on both sides, done special events, done battlegrounds and now tonight he and I did dungeons together.

What are we playing?

World of Warcraft. Yes we're nerds. But we're also learning social lessons (some people are asshats) and we're simply spending time together. We laugh hysterically, we cheer each other on. I can play this with him when I'm 80 (if it's around). We're learning about sportsmanship, and rules of engagement, and that well - pandas can be good or bad. And once you roll toons on both sides, you learn that good and bad are really quite based on your point of view.

Video games aren't the BEST way in the world to spend time with your kid. But I think as responsible parents, knowing your kids were playing video games, you'd do better to be involved and in control of what is going on. We don't play First Person Shooters. We play make believe, with imaginary stories of demons and trolls. Where good and evil battle for power, you'll find us some Saturday afternoons.

We play both sides though. :)



Tweet

Mother Son Bonding - 2013 Edition

We invest a lot of ourselves into our children. You have to in this world, or in any world. I think that it's likely  that in ANY time or place, children that weren't invested in grow up poorly.

While it's important to us to bring him along and show him the world, I think it's also important for us to do things WITH him that he wants to do, including video games.

I always sort of shudder when I hear people talk about games their kids play, when in fact as parents they don't know ANYTHING about them. How do you KNOW what's going on if you don't play it yourself?

It happens that the husband and I are gamers. So this isn't a stretch for us at all, in fact it's right in our bailiwick. But what's interesting is the bonding time that has come from us playing with him. The boy and I have had lots of questing adventures. We've made toons on both sides, done special events, done battlegrounds and now tonight he and I did dungeons together.

What are we playing?

World of Warcraft. Yes we're nerds. But we're also learning social lessons (some people are asshats) and we're simply spending time together. We laugh hysterically, we cheer each other on. I can play this with him when I'm 80 (if it's around). We're learning about sportsmanship, and rules of engagement, and that well - pandas can be good or bad. And once you roll toons on both sides, you learn that good and bad are really quite based on your point of view.

Video games aren't the BEST way in the world to spend time with your kid. But I think as responsible parents, knowing your kids were playing video games, you'd do better to be involved and in control of what is going on. We don't play First Person Shooters. We play make believe, with imaginary stories of demons and trolls. Where good and evil battle for power, you'll find us some Saturday afternoons.

We play both sides though. :)



Tweet

Iago On The Horizon

We spent the day making plans for a winter storm. Iago, named after the infamous liar and deceiver from Othello seems to have once again proven to be false.

Because three hours ago a huge storm was rolling toward me. And now - it's gone.

I am likely to chalk it up to my own powers. You see, I spent most of my day making PLANS for the storm. Getting extra remote coverage for work, checking on this and that and making lists and to-do's in case of THE WORST.

It was my plan you see, that by doing so much planning and thinking through all of the What If's - that then we wouldn't have to do ANY of it.

I have to admit though, I'm a little bummed now. Because the big kid in me might've been hoping for a snow day. Just one.

According to Weather.com we're getting next to nothing.

But then I check local weather and...

Iago.

You cannot trust that bastard, I tell you what.
Tweet

Iago On The Horizon

We spent the day making plans for a winter storm. Iago, named after the infamous liar and deceiver from Othello seems to have once again proven to be false.

Because three hours ago a huge storm was rolling toward me. And now - it's gone.

I am likely to chalk it up to my own powers. You see, I spent most of my day making PLANS for the storm. Getting extra remote coverage for work, checking on this and that and making lists and to-do's in case of THE WORST.

It was my plan you see, that by doing so much planning and thinking through all of the What If's - that then we wouldn't have to do ANY of it.

I have to admit though, I'm a little bummed now. Because the big kid in me might've been hoping for a snow day. Just one.

According to Weather.com we're getting next to nothing.

But then I check local weather and...

Iago.

You cannot trust that bastard, I tell you what.
Tweet