A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.

Saturday, September 28, 2013

8 minutes of Autism

Scene, breakfast is on the table. Twin boys are seated at their bench. Yogurt or cereal, sausage, toast, applesauce is the fare. Mom comes in with a cup of coffee and sits down to browse a Martha Stewart magazine.

Start the clock.
8:40 - Charlie is frantically eating. He has not eaten in ten days one might think. He was held captive in a land where no one fed him, from what I can tell. He's aggressively dipping his toast in applesauce, rather flinging his hand as he does it.
8:41 SPLASH cold water on my foot. Charlie has knocked over his water onto the floor because he's being so crazy while he eats.
8:42 Mom is up - grabs a towel, picks up food, picks up Martha Stewart, wipes off cheap table cloth made with red dye that bleeds,
8:43 Mom takes Charlie's cup back to the kitchen, wipes of down and refills with ice and water.
8:43:30 Mom returns to dining room with cup - to find water sluicing across the table like a river rapid. Charlie has now spilled Miles water. Miles has left the table, and is dancing the living room, Charlie has picked up the cup - and apparently spilled it for no reason, or for meanness. Or because God told him to. Unsure on this part.
8:44 Mom frantically grabs towels, grabs dishes, moves items
8:45 Mom grabs Charlie wipes him off - he laughs and hops off to the other room.
8:46 Mom gets more towels and sops off water off the floor, picks up ice cubes
8:47 Mom picks up dishes and starts clearning the table. As she starts running the water to rinse the plates...
8:48 Miles shouts "I need a wipe!" and Mom looks over to see her coffee racing across the red aforementioned table cloth.

And that's why Mommy drinks.