A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

You HAVE To Try

So my entire parenting ethos of never letting my kids watch violence and crap on TV has completely died on the vine. I did pretty well for about six years, and then my oldest boy wanted to watch PRIMEVAL on the BBC and it's been all down here from there. I just let more and more in.
Such as.....recently.......
Yes that 2012. Sigh I let him watch it, and not only did he watch it he watched it AGAIN in High Def when we got the new TV.
It's ok. Fairly silly but meh. But I digress.
We're watching this scene, classic movie situation where a plane is teetering on the edge of a cliff and just barely nudged over - and the pilot does the quick PHEW because he thinks everything is ok...and then WOOOPS the plane slides over and he dies a fiery death.
The boy looks at me and says,"Mom WHY did he just sit there?"
And that is when I start talking."He should've jumped up and run to the back of the plane and hopped out one of the emergency exits. He could've jumped out long before the plane got to the cliff as he really wasn't FLYING it anymore."
The boy and I start having this discussion, about the pilot and how he just sat there and I add, "Yes - you ALWAYS have to try. You can't just let that happen, you might die anyway, but you have to try."
Which is, I will now admit to you, sort of a personal mantra.
You HAVE to try.
It's like defensive driving for your LIFE.
There is a part of me that is always ready. I know how I will get out of any building in any situation. If it's a building I go into frequently I know MULTIPLE ways I will go.I work out how to hang on to FOUR children in emergencies. I know how I'll get us all out if the car goes into water.
I might not succeed. But no one will ever be able to say I didn't try.

The rest of our lives works that way too.

We don't have "normal". Haven't had for years. But you have to TRY. You have to go out to dinner and to movies and museums and festivals. You have to keep moving and do what you have to to make your life continue to GO forward.

We don't always succeed. I have a kid who will take his shoes and socks off at a restaurant every time. Sometimes there is screaming. Sometimes one of them counts loudly, much to the displeasure of everyone around us.

You have to try.

Because if you don't, you're just those people who are prisoners of fate. You DO fall of the cliff with the plane. You DO find yourself trapped at home 24/7 with children who are special needs - never getting OUT or interacting with adults or other humans.

You can't let fate win every time.

She's gonna win in the end.

But until that day, you HAVE to try.


American in Bath said...

Ah, yes. The BBC is problematic because well written well performed stuff and yet violent.

It's interesting though that he's thought through the issue of not being acted upon (in this case by gravity and aerodynamics) and doesn't seem to have taken away from violence the idea that it is ok to act upon others (through violence).

Clearly, you are unwilling to let your family be acted upon either.

hatesocks said...

Awesome post. Really. I agree with you wholeheartedley. We too go out to restaurants, carnivals etc. We may not stay the whole time, and we may be loud, but we are THERE.
Thanks for this.

Anonymous said...

And sometimes when all is quiet and there is a hush in between the chaos of one moment and the insanity of the next, a little voice will say, "Hug Mommy!" and the world spins just a little more smoothly.