A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

A Tale of Two Boys

One who should have gone to bed.

And one who took his nap without question - crawling into his play tent to rest with his friends.

You might imagine, that one would've been impossible - the NON NAPPER - and one would awake full of joy and giggles and ready for family time.

You'd be wrong.

See when you're autistic.......down is up and right is wrong. My non-napper was a sleepy boy all night and fell asleep during dinner, but was in good spirits and happy. My NAPPER.......

woke up confused - thinking it was time for school and became hysterical that we didn't go out the door.

I couldn't explain to him that he was wrong, that it was a nap - even though I did keep repeating those words, my baby just sobbed and sobbed and expressed his frustrations through tight hugs and grimacing angrily. His heart was broken and I couldn't fix it.

One of my best friends in the world, the kind who is better family than some of my real family, said to me the other day "I don't know how you handle it - I don't know how you deal with the stuff you have to deal with."

I told him "I don't know either. You just do it. Things happen, and you get out of bed and you deal with it. There is no practice -no parenting class for the IF YOUR CHILD IS AUTISTIC workshop to prepare you. You go with it every day and figure it out."

You cry a lot. But you also play a lot. And you try things that don't work. And you try things that do work. (yes I meant play - not pray.I don't pray.period.)

But some days, you cannot explain to a five year old that he didn't just wake up from a night of sleep - that it was only a nap and it is not school time.

And that ladies and gentlemen of the jury - is about the end of the feckin' world from where I sat.

What is it like having autistic kids? Ask me tomorrow. It'll be completely different.


Rebecca said...

Gidge I just want to say...even though I do not have autistic children or twins but your words and insight stick to my heart and fit with my own crazy world of mommy-ness.
You are a wonderful person for sharing such intimate thoughts and I really enjoy your posts here. I wish I could reach out and hug you and tell you thanks from my heart in person maybe even over a beer. Guess, this will have to do.

Lisse said...

Stop me if you've heard this one, but has anyone suggested popping a spoonful of yoghurt or lemonade/lemon ice lemon sherbert in his mouth when he is inconsolable?

For my younger, "sensory issues" kid, it acted like a reset button. I've also read that a pickle might do the same type of thing.