A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.
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Thursday, July 31, 2008

I Love Helen GA

Okay so the husband and I love cheese and not just the kind from cows. We love the touristy, the cheesy, the silly.....we embrace our inner ten year old at every turn.
Conequentely, we love Helen GA.
Nestled in the north Georgia mountains, this tourist-mecca-faux-alpine village brings out all walks of life in it's quest to suck up all your remaining dollars not yet given up at the pump.
We rolled up there a few days ago just to have a little r and r.
What sort of goofy things are there to do in Helen?



Windchimes and rocks? And an AIRBRUSH TATTOO!
This is a brilliant business model. I am totally buying all of these things next time I go.
Places NOT to eat in Helen? I'm not saying which one seems like a bad idea. YOU decide.
We went to our favorite candy shop - Hansel and Gretel and bought some goodies, then sat and watched the great sea of humanity pass around us, as we ate candy in the fresh mountain air.







If you're too cool to enjoy the silly cheesy factor of Helen GA, you are way too uptight. Seriously. Have some candy, have some fun.

Just watch out for Cannibals.....

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Rules You Didn't Know Existed

"NO! You cannot sleep with the vacuum cleaner! No.....put it back! I better not come back in here and find the vacuum cleaner in bed with you!"
And I'm not kidding.

Don't make me get MORE crazy and parental.

Friday, July 25, 2008

You Need to Watch This

Thursday, July 24, 2008

The Near Death Experience of Tinkerbell

As anyone who reads this or knows me is aware, my kids are little. 5,4 and 4 respectively. So we still live in a very safe, protected land. Things are still magical and no wonder is too big to be true.
There is Santa, there is a tooth fairy, there is an Easter Bunny.

There is Tinkerbell.

Except that, I almost killed her the other night.

I walked into the middle of a conversation between Lil Satchmo and The Husband, and the words "Is Tinkerbell REAL or not?" were hanging in the air over Lil Satchmo's head. The Husband blinked, looked at me, and said "This one is all yours."

The big boy followed me in to change his brothers, as I tried to calmly explain that Tinkerbell is a character from Peter Pan. It was making me sad, watching his little face as I told him the truth about Tink....when he blurts out "But Mom, she had a vacation house outside our door in Tampa."

And I started to cry. He continues to describe this house to me."It had a door and windows, I remember it. It was a house. It was her vacation house - remember?"

He is remembering THIS.

And I started to cry harder. He's only FIVE. Do I REALLY have to tell him Tinkerbell isn't real? Why does it freaking MATTER?

At that point the husband then rescued me, and explained to him that there are many things in the world that we don't understand and that Tinkerbell COULD be one of them.

Lil Satchmo explained to me, later, after I had stopped crying - that he knew she was real because we always used to watch her fly off of the top of the castle at Magic Kingdom. So he knows she is real.

Tink, you get to live another day.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Why Don't You All Just F-F-F-Fade Away?

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Wither KidzBop?

I need this explained to me. Why, oh why, do I need "Kidz" singing top 40 pop tunes for my kids to listen to those same songs? Why, for instance, wouldn't it just be simpler and more economical to let my kids listen to those same songs on the RADIO vs BUYING a different version performed by kids whose musical ability is shaky.

Example, if it's really the LYRICS and CONTENT that are in question, oh parenting readers of mine - WHY then was BOOTYLICIOUS re-recorded for KidzBop? I'm fairly sure that "I don't think you're ready to poke that jelly" isn't particularly Age Appropriate. Is it the artist? Is it shocking to let your kids listen to BEYONCE just SING? Is it just the idea of PINK's voice that causes us to need to re-record these tunes with nasally little kids voice?

Don't buy this crap for your kids. Don't dumb down music. Don't presume that because it says KIDZ in the title that it's appropriate for them to listen to. I let my kids listen to the Beatles. I also let them listen to Rage Against the Machine. I also let them listen to Barry Manilow.

Age appropriate presumes my children are little morons who can't HANDLE real music. Which is bullshit.

Kidzbop is an insult to the intelligence of all children. And it let's people off the hook of parenting. "Oh I don't have to make an informed decision about what my kids hear - this says it's for children so it must be OK."

Yes yes, and South Park is a cartoon.....let's let them watch that too. (No, mine cannot watch South Park).

Monday, July 21, 2008

The Blogher 08 Second Life Whizbang Recap



It was a whizbang fun weekend at Blogher08 In Second Life. I got to participate in the "Intersection of Blogging and Second Life Panel" which gave mea fantastic reason to buy new clothes in cartoon land. (Like I need a reason.)
I took a close up of me and Queen at the panel, we look mahvelous.

There may have been a few technical glitches but hey, technology is not perfect anywhere on a good day and we managed to get through it.
The exhibitor area looked mahvelous also, here I am at the Code Pink exhibit.

Askpatty.com threw us a great party at the end of Day One at Callie Cline's beach resort which was well attended and much enjoyed. Thanks Patty! Crunch Domestic Goddess had a good time even though she wore a box on here head most of the night! (She was a very good sport about it and it was a box with a big picture of ME on it, so I found it to be VERY fashionable.) This is a snap of me and the husband, the REAL husband yes, at the party.

Patty also had hired the coolest looking DJs in the metaverse. Check'em out.

I also got to meet many other great bloggers who were a lot of fun and not against mudwrestling and knife throwing. I met a lot of other great ladies, whose blog urls I cannot find and I'm sorry - this doesn't mean I don't love you!
I realize that you guys all had fun out in San Francisco........but did you get a designer original outfit JUST FOR ATTENDING? I was cracking up at the smokes so you can't see the darn jeans which are now my new favorite SL jeans. Yes I have favorite SL jeans, shut up. Thanks to Callie Cline for designing and donating this to us Bloghers in SL.
Did you get to go TUBING??

And more importantly - did they give you your OWN stock car? NO? Well........pity on you then :)


Seriously it was a great time,thanks to everyone who came and those of you who came and decided to STAY and live the wild pixel life with us - just give me a holler In World if you need anything.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Would I Wear That Shirt?

Sarah has posed this question and I could only respond with a STORY.

Back when Mrs Repressed and I were young and wild we were off to King's Island with our other roommate and my BF at the time. On the way, we were listening to an interview with Michael Stipe where he was discussing the concepts for the album OUT OF TIME.
At one point in the story he starts talking about the album title and declares."I wanted to call it CATBUTT".

Later in that day, at King's Island we had enjoyed a few in the Bier Garten and decided to make one of those videos where you sing along like Karaoke and they make a terrible music video. We thought this was a great idea and chose to sing LOVE SHACK (a personal anthem of our swinging single days.)

After our recording......the little man setting up our information asked innocently,"What would you like to call your band?"

And clearly there was only one answer.

CATBUTT!!


It was quite enjoyable to hear them announce that next up singing "Love Shack" would be CATBUTT!!!

If Mrs Repressed and I hadn't settled down and gotten married, our life goal was to tour the country with our imaginary rock band - CATBUTT. To this day, we're known to send each other a CATBUTT themed gift on occasion - but it's been a while so I only can say

THIS ONE IS FOR YOU LAURA!!!! CATBUTT LIVES FOREVER!!!

THANK YOU ATLANTA! GOODNIGHT!!!

Wait- Is Andy Dick STRAIGHT?

I've always known he was a tool (yet loved him on NewsRadio) but seriously.

Can Andy Dick be STRAIGHT?

I mean, why is he trying to see someone's boobs? Did he mistake her for a drag queen?

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Say AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

One of the many perils of new parenthood - as many of you know and many more will find out, is the danger of getting pooped and peed on. It happens. Once you are a seasoned old Road Warrior like me lugging about three kids under the age of 2 you never even flinch at the occasional misplaced bodily fluid. As they age, these instances wane in frequency and that's a good thing - as you can imagine.
Heck - by the time you get to where you are lugging around a 5 year old and two 4 year olds you never even much think about it.....it just doesn't HAPPEN that much if at all.

I present Exhibit A - Baby Birth of Cool.

He looks like a pretty stand up guy, doesn't he? Reasonable? Given to enjoying a little Sesame Street and some Charlie and Lola? Yeah, he is. I'll tell you what else he is. He is a sneak pee attack artist.

Last night he was first out of the tub, and as I knelt in front of him drying his feet and legs I started to say something - I have no idea what. At which point he peed.

Into my mouth.

Yeah you heard me.

You know what you do when something that horrible starts to happen to you?

You open your mouth to scream.

Know what happens then? MORE pee goes in your mouth.

This may be worse than the chocolate chip incident.

Friday, July 11, 2008

It's 3am - You Must Be Joking

So we had a real live tornado yesterday, in Minnesota. The kind you take cover from. The kind where the sirens go off and it's not just something going on ON TV that happens to other people.
Plus there were storms in the ATL. And more forecasted in both places today.
So the boss was concerned that we would miss our flight/be very delayed today getting back to our Georgia home. She in particular was concerned because she had a tight schedule of things to do upon landing.
After a few calls to the airline she'd decided she would get up at 3:30 and start calling, trying to change our flights for the $50 fee - to get a earlier flight out.

At 3:35 am my phone rang. "I got us on the 6:30 flight - meet me downstairs in 30 minutes!"

Oh shit are you kidding me?

And after a Carribou coffee and muffin -we were off at 6:30 am. In the cloudy sky we slipped away from the north and headed toward dixieland.

I only hope I didn't SNORE on the plane becuase I absolutely fell asleep - only to awaken as my head SNAPPED forward repeatedly.
I'm home.

In totally unrelated news - I saw Big Boi from Outkast at the airport. I must confess I didn't know WHO he was at first, simply that he was SOMEONE based on the INSANE amount of Louis Vuitton luggage sitting curbside (photo is NOT representative of the amount of luggage he actually had). My driver recognized him and once I got a good look I realized that YES - it WAS Big Boi! But, I was a little nervous about hopping out for photos like a rude tourist....so I only got off ONE that's sort of ok. See him?



*Note to all rock stars and movie stars.

Louis Vuitton luggage is over. I'm bored with it. We're all bored with it. Buy something else. For God's SAKE doesn't anyone else make luggage worth a shit?







Thursday, July 10, 2008

Bath Bomb

I'm still out of town.
But I get to go back home tomorrow.
For three days I've lived a bit like a spoiled teenager, strewing clothes around my room aimlessly, watching shitty tv (I gave up the opportunity to watch TAXI CAB CONFESSIONS to come down here to write, and some skinny dude was talking about how much he likes to hit it with the BIG girls so you know I had something to say). I've also been eating really expensive food on the company expense acct but I'm just telling you that to be a jerk - it isn't relevant.

But tonight, at Mall of America with my boss I wandered into one of my favorite stores - BASIN. I had decided I'd pick up a bath bomb and have a bath tonight before bed (which I've already done thank you it was lovely, I even sat and read some Hollis Gillespie but I digress).

But standing there in the store, I started thinking about bath bombs.

And I wanted one.

A special one.

Usually we buy that sort of treat for ourselves as a get-away, a retreat from the world. Like tonight, I was laying in a luxurious bath of moraccan scents (which apparently means cinnamon) reading a book and just being a sloth.

I wanted a different bath bomb.

A bath bomb of celebration. A bath bomb of the future.

You see, my new house, if it IS my new house, has the most fantastic bathtub I will have ever had in my adult life. All I could think was.......I can take my first bath in my new tub in my NEW HOUSE.....

Bombs Away.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

The Journey of 1000 Miles

Starts with one limo ride.

He'll be here in an hour to whisk me away, 1183 miles northward - according to MapQuest.

So there will be none of this again until Friday.
And none of this.
I've got four days of ME time and I'm going to enjoy it, revel in it.........

all the while thinking,"I can't wait to get home."

Next post will be from NEAR CANADA (homage to LaVerne and Shirley's cruise to NEAR MEXICO).
Goodbye little faces.

Monday, July 07, 2008

I Live Here Now

I haven't felt plugged into the place since day 1. It's felt like a place I was just killing time. Getting up, going to work, visiting random places, coming home, going to bed, getting back up and going to work.


Not drudgery, but - just not....attached to any of it.

The entire GA experience has really felt like something I'm watching versus something I'm doing.

But something changed over the 4th weekend. As we sat, as a family, on a courthouse square eating hand dipped corn dogs and listening to the cover band.......I felt it. Surrounded by red white and blue swagging, the people laughing and talking - the politicians handing out little fans...there was a sense of belonging in the air that I hadn't gripped yet.

I also probably hadn't reached out for it. But you get the point.



I live here now.

Friday, July 04, 2008

A Piece of Americana for your July 4



Not only is it still on the road - apparently it PASSES EMISSIONS.....

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Once Upon A Time

Once Upon a Time
A boy met a girl at Buffalo Wild Wings (then called BW3).
He asked her out on a date.
They moved in together.
They celebrated happy times together by going back
to the place they met.
They eventually married.
They had to leave their newborn in the hospital overnight and
went together to Buffalo Wild Wings to eat dinner that evening -
she weeping because she missed the baby, he consoling her that everything would be ok.
They sought out the Buffalo Wild Wings every state they moved to, driving
to introduce their children to the place where mommy and daddy met. Driving
there to celebrate a new job, a birthday, a dataversary - or just to remember
that carefree time when they were 20something and had just met.

Recently, they went to Buffalo Wild Wings to celebrate the purchase of their first house.

The Modern American Family, brought to you by Buffalo Wild Wings.

Who knew my married life would have a sponsor?

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Little Pink Houses For You and Me....

They accepted our offer!!!



We are getting out of this shitty neighborhood at last!