Wither Vanity ?

I used to have time. And there was a lot of it. I spent it in dubious ways, drinking, reading, going to places, talking to people, and pampering myself. Yes you heard me.
PAMPERING myself. I would get things cut, colored, waxed, filed, filled, painted, massaged, scrubbed, aromatherapied and exfoliated. I paid other people to do these things. Generally just three people, a stylist, a nail tech and an aesthetician. If you've added the last of these three to your playlist let me tell you now, this is the one you'll miss the most when one day it's not feasible due to time constraints.
You can get your nails done in an hour. You can find a place that does it cheap. You can get your hair cut and colored in about an hour to an hour and a half, and again - we all know where the SUPERCUTS is located. Cheap can be obtained.
But the aesthetician.....ah. There is no bargain basement aesthetician. She performs rituals on you, beauty rituals, that there are no cut rate deals on. She costs. She does things to you that you do not need but once you've had them done, man do you want them. Full body sea salt scrub? That's your aesthetician. Pore treatment with a steam tent? Same person. Marvelous person. This person puts the gloss on the lipstick, the icing on the cake.......she is what is the difference between the gorgeous and the rest of us and you love her. (Or him, it could be a him.)

And then you have kids.

Kids aren't just a financial burden. They are a burden on the entire space time continuum. I love my kids, don't get me wrong. But just the TIMING of getting all the beauty stuff done I want done is like some great game of master scheduling. Forget getting it done outside the house. The four hours they want from you at the day spa could be spent getting the laundry done. People, I can't get four more hours behind on the laundry, I assure you. The mismatched jammies we have going on tonight are more than evidence of that (mismatched jammies are a bugaboo of mine).

So I've worked out a system of working in my own beauty upkeep with my time with my kids at night. Gone are the days where I can leisurely give myself a nice long pedicure and really work those feet over. Now it's speed and the window of opportunity I'm embracing.
Let's say I'm working on my feet.
While son is on toilet - remove nail polish.
While oldest son is in bathtub, paint toes - FAST - don't do a good job, just get the paint on, slap on some QUICKDRY.
While kids play before bed, sand feet FAST.
While I'm blogging at night,slather on really thick lotion and put on white socks.
The next morning I can close the drain on the tub so that the water fills up around my feet during my shower, and then pick off all the excess nail polish.
Guess what, it looks perfect.
Pedicure. Over the course of about 12 hours.
I can accomplish a lot while number one son is in the tub. I can use depilatory, do the microderm abrasion, a face mask, tweeze eyebrows, paint toes, sand feet. Not all of these things at once, but usually I can accomplish one or two of them if I try. When the little ones bathe I can do Mary Kay satin hands or feet (gotta keep a much closer eye on them so I can't be too self absorbed).

I'm accomplishing almost all of the same effects without the hundreds of dollars dropped at a nod at the day spa. My feet don't look like hobbit feet, and my skin is clear (okay the eyebrows need a wax I really DO need to get over to the Day Spa de Sade for that one) but all in all.....it can be done.

But man do I miss that aesthetician.