A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.
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Thursday, April 06, 2006

What Would Martha Do?


To Create Butterscotch Bird Nests: Climb the Andes Mountains at the Spring Equinox to squeeze the nectar from the feathers of the Butterscotch Bird. Have the Nectar blessed by the Shaman of the Butterscotch Bird Tribe in an ancient ritual that is sure to improve the essence of the flavor. It's a good thing. Walk home via an ancient map that you discovered in the back of an ancient cook book. Once you get home, use a large pot similar to one used by the Stygian witches to melt your butterscotch. In fact, invert the Liberty Bell under said pot to create a double boiler - we don't want to burn our butterscotch! Once you have a melty consistency that is reminiscent of the consistency of a down blanket handquilted by blind vestal virgins in Holland, you're almost there. Stir for another 20 minutes but do not let it boil. Use only firewood made from Noah's Ark or the ONE TRUE CROSS to provide your heat source, or you risk contamination and inferior heating. After you have achieved the smoothest substance known to man you can add your Chinese Noodles. I like to travel to TaiYun in China to a little market located in the section of town where foreigners aren't really welcome. There you can barter with your soul and the wordly possesions on your back for crunchy little noodles -which are actuallly that are best served tossed in the blessed Andes Mountain Butterscotch confection.
Add Jelly Beans.

This is how I do it:
Melt Butterscotch chips in microwave until they are melty. Drop in bag of chinese noodles. Stir. Make nests. Add Jelly Beans.
At least Martha and I do that last bit the same.

I also made these - but don't be too impressed - cupcakes are easy.
They're all treats for the twins club Easter Egg Hunt and Party! Don't you wish YOU were coming?

7 comments:

Becky said...

You are gonna make me look like a lameass. I haven't even picked up anything at the bakery yet.

BTW, Holland? What about Iceland?

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

Okay, I've got everything except for the firewood from the ONE TRUE CROSS.

Just give me a couple more days.

(I can't believe how crafty you are. I don't even bake cookies)

Kemp said...

My wife took today, MOnday, off for a Twins Club spring outing here.

Bowling...

30 kids....

10 adults.....

Never in my life have I been so happy to have to go to work...

Devra said...

What are you making for Passover?

Gidge said...

I'll be serving some "Plague of Locust" Jello and some "Here Comes the Angel of Death" cookies.
Passover Rocks.
I will of course, leave one plate open for the angel.
Or is that some other holiday that I don't properly obsserve?

Devra said...

Well you could leave a glass of wine for Elijah and have one of my cousins drink it and then pretend that Elijah really drank it and freak out the kids.

Gidge said...

So Elijah would like one glass of wine and one cupcake....got it.
Man Angels have WEIRD taste.

And I be that WOULD freak out the kids, excellent religious prank.