Parenting /WIN

I'm watching this show on Nickelodeon with the oldest boy. The show is called BIG TIME RUSH and if you haven't seen it, it's a boy band show. It has random,not funny jokes and too beautiful people and the guys can sing but they'll never be stars because they are on a crappy show.


I see this show like every day. And it's not funny like iCarly which YEAH I DO THINK IS FUNNY and will watch by myself. There I said it.


Anyway, BIG TIME RUSH is just maybe awright on a good day. However, yesterday, the episode had one character getting "Hollywood Fever" and spray tanning himself into an icky orange tan mess. The entire show centered on getting him back to "normal"...with a lot of predictable gags and jokes and bad writing.


About halfway through the show, my boy pauses it and says,"I don't understand why this matters."


I answered that the recording company didn't want him to look like that, that he looked crazy and wouldn't be popular with fans/girls etc.


And that was when I got my parenting WIN of the day. He says,"But his friends are being really mean to him. He's the same person. It doesn't matter what someone looks like. If they are a nice person, or are a good singer, they're still the same person. I think his friends are being jerks. It doesn't make sense."



Man. I think we did something right.

Parenting /WIN

I'm watching this show on Nickelodeon with the oldest boy. The show is called BIG TIME RUSH and if you haven't seen it, it's a boy band show. It has random,not funny jokes and too beautiful people and the guys can sing but they'll never be stars because they are on a crappy show.


I see this show like every day. And it's not funny like iCarly which YEAH I DO THINK IS FUNNY and will watch by myself. There I said it.


Anyway, BIG TIME RUSH is just maybe awright on a good day. However, yesterday, the episode had one character getting "Hollywood Fever" and spray tanning himself into an icky orange tan mess. The entire show centered on getting him back to "normal"...with a lot of predictable gags and jokes and bad writing.


About halfway through the show, my boy pauses it and says,"I don't understand why this matters."


I answered that the recording company didn't want him to look like that, that he looked crazy and wouldn't be popular with fans/girls etc.


And that was when I got my parenting WIN of the day. He says,"But his friends are being really mean to him. He's the same person. It doesn't matter what someone looks like. If they are a nice person, or are a good singer, they're still the same person. I think his friends are being jerks. It doesn't make sense."



Man. I think we did something right.

I am Better At This The Third Time Around

The first time, he was the FIRST. He was the one they told me wouldn't ever be. So he was wondrous, and precious....and everything about him was a mystery. He was catered to like a newborn prince and I fretted over him constantly.I READ everything. I constantly second guessed myself.

The second time - there were two of them. And while I might've been better had it been only one, with it being a double set of joy - it was overwhelming. The joy that you might have normally is replaced with the hell of sleep deprivation and the 24/7 man to man operation of newborn care X2. It was epic suck until they were about six months old. It's still not easy. But we've got a groove six years later and have learned to deal.

But now - the third time......what a difference.

There were things about this time that were amazingly WORSE for me. The C-section. The post-partum. The recovery. But the baby?

The baby is a cake walk.

I'd like to say she's a super laid back baby - and that's partially true. But I think that this time around, we're more laid back parents. I don't think I have to hold her all the time,but when I do I really really enjoy it. I'm learning not to flip out when she is denying me sleep, as a matter of fact at 1am or later when she just won't sleep - I'm just opening AMERICAN GODS and re-reading it while she squirms in my arms. It's a win because I get to relax and read,and she is being held which is what she wants. Suddenly she's zonked, and we can both go to bed.

It's a pity that we don't, as humans, have our babies later in life when we are more mature, more stable and better to handle stress.

I know I would've been SHIT as a parent in my twenties. I was too selfish. But now?

I'm still selfish. But I can give up my selfishness for them without resenting them.

My mom always says my brother Matt had a better mom than I did. I finally figured out what she means.

Yup - those are my kids running around like loonies having fun. I love it.

I am Better At This The Third Time Around

The first time, he was the FIRST. He was the one they told me wouldn't ever be. So he was wondrous, and precious....and everything about him was a mystery. He was catered to like a newborn prince and I fretted over him constantly.I READ everything. I constantly second guessed myself.

The second time - there were two of them. And while I might've been better had it been only one, with it being a double set of joy - it was overwhelming. The joy that you might have normally is replaced with the hell of sleep deprivation and the 24/7 man to man operation of newborn care X2. It was epic suck until they were about six months old. It's still not easy. But we've got a groove six years later and have learned to deal.

But now - the third time......what a difference.

There were things about this time that were amazingly WORSE for me. The C-section. The post-partum. The recovery. But the baby?

The baby is a cake walk.

I'd like to say she's a super laid back baby - and that's partially true. But I think that this time around, we're more laid back parents. I don't think I have to hold her all the time,but when I do I really really enjoy it. I'm learning not to flip out when she is denying me sleep, as a matter of fact at 1am or later when she just won't sleep - I'm just opening AMERICAN GODS and re-reading it while she squirms in my arms. It's a win because I get to relax and read,and she is being held which is what she wants. Suddenly she's zonked, and we can both go to bed.

It's a pity that we don't, as humans, have our babies later in life when we are more mature, more stable and better to handle stress.

I know I would've been SHIT as a parent in my twenties. I was too selfish. But now?

I'm still selfish. But I can give up my selfishness for them without resenting them.

My mom always says my brother Matt had a better mom than I did. I finally figured out what she means.

Yup - those are my kids running around like loonies having fun. I love it.

To The Jerks Robbing Our Neighborhood

I have an important message to the robbers who are terrorized my neighborhood over the past 9 days by breaking in and ransacking houses.

You are going to get shot.

See, it's like this.

My cracker neighbors are ALL armed. The Marines at the end of the street can pretty much be counted on to have an ARSENAL and well, the men of my street are not amused by you.

You can count on this.

So between the Marines at the end of the street, the Navy guy next door and every other cracker IN the neighborhood having a weapon and now, you are their #1 Interest.

If it were me, I might go rob someone elses houses. You might get out alive. Or not.

It's Georgia after all.

To The Jerks Robbing Our Neighborhood

I have an important message to the robbers who are terrorized my neighborhood over the past 9 days by breaking in and ransacking houses.

You are going to get shot.

See, it's like this.

My cracker neighbors are ALL armed. The Marines at the end of the street can pretty much be counted on to have an ARSENAL and well, the men of my street are not amused by you.

You can count on this.

So between the Marines at the end of the street, the Navy guy next door and every other cracker IN the neighborhood having a weapon and now, you are their #1 Interest.

If it were me, I might go rob someone elses houses. You might get out alive. Or not.

It's Georgia after all.

I Just Invented BIG ASS BROWNIE PAN

Because the BIG TOP CUPCAKE was such a hit with my friends, at Laura's suggestion I've jumped the gun on the AS SEEN ON TV people and created the BIG ASS BROWNIE PAN so that instead of those little pesky brownies, now you can have ONE BIG ASS BROWNIE.

Big Ass Brownie pans works with the 2010 CONVECTION OVEN technology to provide firm delicious crusts while having a delicious moist chocolately center.

It's fun to use at parties and makes a fantastic children's activity!

Here is what you do.

Make your brownie mix as normal. Pour it into THIS........

THEN - after following the baking instructions on the box, allow BIG ASS BROWNIE to cool for ten minutes and then DUMP IT OUT ONTO A PLATE!

And there you go. Now you have a BIG ASS BROWNIE.

You are welcome. As Seen On TV People - I get a 10% cut of this product. KTHXBAI.

I Just Invented BIG ASS BROWNIE PAN

Because the BIG TOP CUPCAKE was such a hit with my friends, at Laura's suggestion I've jumped the gun on the AS SEEN ON TV people and created the BIG ASS BROWNIE PAN so that instead of those little pesky brownies, now you can have ONE BIG ASS BROWNIE.

Big Ass Brownie pans works with the 2010 CONVECTION OVEN technology to provide firm delicious crusts while having a delicious moist chocolately center.

It's fun to use at parties and makes a fantastic children's activity!

Here is what you do.

Make your brownie mix as normal. Pour it into THIS........

THEN - after following the baking instructions on the box, allow BIG ASS BROWNIE to cool for ten minutes and then DUMP IT OUT ONTO A PLATE!

And there you go. Now you have a BIG ASS BROWNIE.

You are welcome. As Seen On TV People - I get a 10% cut of this product. KTHXBAI.

For When a Regular Cupcake Just Won't Do

So since all of my gifts for Mother's Day come from the AS SEEN ON TV Store, I think it's only fitting that HIS Father's Day Treats be made with the same.


Such as.........THE BIG TOP CUP CAKE!





After all, why be bother with those PESKY CUP SIZED CUPCAKES when you can make one as BIG AS YOUR HEAD!?!?!?!!?



That's a lot more convenient, I think everyone will agree.



I am making a Boston Cream Pie Cupcake. That's right. It's a pie-cupcake. I'm American. We make things up, what do you want from me?

Yes I used canned icing because I was too lazy to make a ganache. Leave me alone. I'll make a ganache another time I swear.

Here it is.......THE BIG TOP CUPCAKE BOSTON CREAM PIE! Or is it the BOSTON CREAM PIE BIG TOP CUPCAKE? I have no idea. But I bet it's gonna be good.......

For When a Regular Cupcake Just Won't Do

So since all of my gifts for Mother's Day come from the AS SEEN ON TV Store, I think it's only fitting that HIS Father's Day Treats be made with the same.


Such as.........THE BIG TOP CUP CAKE!





After all, why be bother with those PESKY CUP SIZED CUPCAKES when you can make one as BIG AS YOUR HEAD!?!?!?!!?



That's a lot more convenient, I think everyone will agree.



I am making a Boston Cream Pie Cupcake. That's right. It's a pie-cupcake. I'm American. We make things up, what do you want from me?

Yes I used canned icing because I was too lazy to make a ganache. Leave me alone. I'll make a ganache another time I swear.

Here it is.......THE BIG TOP CUPCAKE BOSTON CREAM PIE! Or is it the BOSTON CREAM PIE BIG TOP CUPCAKE? I have no idea. But I bet it's gonna be good.......