***Those of you who enjoy Drama, Please Pull Up A Chair***
I had this friend who was one of my best friends. I loved her dearly. And she fucked me. Metaphorically speaking, that is. Now - you might say that her intentions were good and that's all fine and dandy.
But you know what the road to hell is paved with? That's right boys and girls - GOOD INTENTIONS.
Because of her little stunt, she unleashed a sociopath back into my life when I had him nicely caged and being a good boy. She created havoc and mayhem in my personal life that continues to this day. But here, as I mull things over and think about how angry I am about so many things in my life........what I find most ironic is this.
She and I are not friends - not because of the bullshit she pulled.
But because she would not call me.
You see at that time I worked at a place full of asshats. It was unbelievably restrictive - and I had shared that with people, don't call casually - don't call to hang out and visit and most certainly don't call to discuss DRAMA with me on the phone. Why? Because the senior manager there was alerted EVERY TIME someone got a personal phone call, and if she didn't have time to listen to you live right then - she'd just record it and play it back later for her own personal pleasure. This was a place that let me know it was inappropriate for me to receive a personal phone call - when I got a phone call that my son broke his arm.
So you see, I asked you to call me. You - who out of ALL OF THE DRAMANISTAS INVOLVED were like a best friend to me.
And you refused.
See you were all feminist and empowered and you weren't going to call me AT HOME you were going to do it on YOUR TERMS weren't you? Does that make you feel good? Does that make you feel righteous and sooooo self satisfied? You see other, lesser friends CALLED ME. Some of them and I have lost touch or found points of disagreement and are not really friends anymore.
But everyone else, people who were supposed to love me far less than you - CALLED ME. They talked to me.
Not you baby. Oh no, up on your pedestal of righteousness you sat. Trying to destroy my family.
Guess what? You failed.
Guess what? I hate you. TO THIS DAY, I hate you with the full venom I felt then. It hasn't waned. I wish you ill. If I hear that something bad happened to you - I smile a little bit inside. I'll never do ill to you, I'll never actively seek to harm you. But you know what - if I can cause you sadness by an act of omission or neglect - I WILL.
I hope you read these words and they make you sad.
I stepped away with grace and didn't say anything at the time. My days of being silent about things that upset me are over.
Everybody else, buckle up.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Why We're Not Friends
***Those of you who enjoy Drama, Please Pull Up A Chair***
I had this friend who was one of my best friends. I loved her dearly. And she fucked me. Metaphorically speaking, that is. Now - you might say that her intentions were good and that's all fine and dandy.
But you know what the road to hell is paved with? That's right boys and girls - GOOD INTENTIONS.
Because of her little stunt, she unleashed a sociopath back into my life when I had him nicely caged and being a good boy. She created havoc and mayhem in my personal life that continues to this day. But here, as I mull things over and think about how angry I am about so many things in my life........what I find most ironic is this.
She and I are not friends - not because of the bullshit she pulled.
But because she would not call me.
You see at that time I worked at a place full of asshats. It was unbelievably restrictive - and I had shared that with people, don't call casually - don't call to hang out and visit and most certainly don't call to discuss DRAMA with me on the phone. Why? Because the senior manager there was alerted EVERY TIME someone got a personal phone call, and if she didn't have time to listen to you live right then - she'd just record it and play it back later for her own personal pleasure. This was a place that let me know it was inappropriate for me to receive a personal phone call - when I got a phone call that my son broke his arm.
So you see, I asked you to call me. You - who out of ALL OF THE DRAMANISTAS INVOLVED were like a best friend to me.
And you refused.
See you were all feminist and empowered and you weren't going to call me AT HOME you were going to do it on YOUR TERMS weren't you? Does that make you feel good? Does that make you feel righteous and sooooo self satisfied? You see other, lesser friends CALLED ME. Some of them and I have lost touch or found points of disagreement and are not really friends anymore.
But everyone else, people who were supposed to love me far less than you - CALLED ME. They talked to me.
Not you baby. Oh no, up on your pedestal of righteousness you sat. Trying to destroy my family.
Guess what? You failed.
Guess what? I hate you. TO THIS DAY, I hate you with the full venom I felt then. It hasn't waned. I wish you ill. If I hear that something bad happened to you - I smile a little bit inside. I'll never do ill to you, I'll never actively seek to harm you. But you know what - if I can cause you sadness by an act of omission or neglect - I WILL.
I hope you read these words and they make you sad.
I stepped away with grace and didn't say anything at the time. My days of being silent about things that upset me are over.
Everybody else, buckle up.
I had this friend who was one of my best friends. I loved her dearly. And she fucked me. Metaphorically speaking, that is. Now - you might say that her intentions were good and that's all fine and dandy.
But you know what the road to hell is paved with? That's right boys and girls - GOOD INTENTIONS.
Because of her little stunt, she unleashed a sociopath back into my life when I had him nicely caged and being a good boy. She created havoc and mayhem in my personal life that continues to this day. But here, as I mull things over and think about how angry I am about so many things in my life........what I find most ironic is this.
She and I are not friends - not because of the bullshit she pulled.
But because she would not call me.
You see at that time I worked at a place full of asshats. It was unbelievably restrictive - and I had shared that with people, don't call casually - don't call to hang out and visit and most certainly don't call to discuss DRAMA with me on the phone. Why? Because the senior manager there was alerted EVERY TIME someone got a personal phone call, and if she didn't have time to listen to you live right then - she'd just record it and play it back later for her own personal pleasure. This was a place that let me know it was inappropriate for me to receive a personal phone call - when I got a phone call that my son broke his arm.
So you see, I asked you to call me. You - who out of ALL OF THE DRAMANISTAS INVOLVED were like a best friend to me.
And you refused.
See you were all feminist and empowered and you weren't going to call me AT HOME you were going to do it on YOUR TERMS weren't you? Does that make you feel good? Does that make you feel righteous and sooooo self satisfied? You see other, lesser friends CALLED ME. Some of them and I have lost touch or found points of disagreement and are not really friends anymore.
But everyone else, people who were supposed to love me far less than you - CALLED ME. They talked to me.
Not you baby. Oh no, up on your pedestal of righteousness you sat. Trying to destroy my family.
Guess what? You failed.
Guess what? I hate you. TO THIS DAY, I hate you with the full venom I felt then. It hasn't waned. I wish you ill. If I hear that something bad happened to you - I smile a little bit inside. I'll never do ill to you, I'll never actively seek to harm you. But you know what - if I can cause you sadness by an act of omission or neglect - I WILL.
I hope you read these words and they make you sad.
I stepped away with grace and didn't say anything at the time. My days of being silent about things that upset me are over.
Everybody else, buckle up.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
I Do Not Envy Their Massage
So as previously stated I WON this massage. I won it FROM the owner of a local Massage Envy store. It's a chain but really, that shouldn't matter if it's a licensed massage therapist. It shouldn't matter at all.
Ahhhhhh but here's the rub. (good pun).
I called to make my appointment. Ready? Wait for it...........
They require a CREDIT CARD to hold your appointment.
For a FREE massage?
Gee.....let me see, since it's my first day as a consumer Mr Scammy McScammstor...........I give you my credit card to "hold" the appointment and then what. You ACCIDENTALLY process a payment that takes me weeks to get resolved? You run an authorization because "Oh well that's standard procedure and get let me guess the system automatically runs authorizations on all credit cards that are holding appointments?"
Oh and then it can take up to 20 days for the authorization to lift off my card - then releasing those funds back to me.
It seems like what I won was not a free massage - I won the chance to let you have my CREDIT card! Wooohooo!
Well here's what's up, everyone doesn't have credit cards any more. Some of us are trying to live more frugally and while I would've given you my debit card, ummmm NO.
A Therapeutic massage is supposed to be relaxing, de-stressing and good for the heart, soul and mind.
I suppose this is true, if these things exist within your credit card.
I Do Not Envy Their Massage
So as previously stated I WON this massage. I won it FROM the owner of a local Massage Envy store. It's a chain but really, that shouldn't matter if it's a licensed massage therapist. It shouldn't matter at all.
Ahhhhhh but here's the rub. (good pun).
I called to make my appointment. Ready? Wait for it...........
They require a CREDIT CARD to hold your appointment.
For a FREE massage?
Gee.....let me see, since it's my first day as a consumer Mr Scammy McScammstor...........I give you my credit card to "hold" the appointment and then what. You ACCIDENTALLY process a payment that takes me weeks to get resolved? You run an authorization because "Oh well that's standard procedure and get let me guess the system automatically runs authorizations on all credit cards that are holding appointments?"
Oh and then it can take up to 20 days for the authorization to lift off my card - then releasing those funds back to me.
It seems like what I won was not a free massage - I won the chance to let you have my CREDIT card! Wooohooo!
Well here's what's up, everyone doesn't have credit cards any more. Some of us are trying to live more frugally and while I would've given you my debit card, ummmm NO.
A Therapeutic massage is supposed to be relaxing, de-stressing and good for the heart, soul and mind.
I suppose this is true, if these things exist within your credit card.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
What Does Joy Look Like?
I think that it looks something like this. It's nearly been one year since I signed a stack of papers that made this pink house ours. And in that year, we've spent a fortune trying to get the pool working.I suspect that if you BUY a pool it comes with instructions, maybe even some sort of cursory training. But if you buy a house which COMES WITH a pool.......well then, the training you get is "There are some chemicals in the shed."
For one year we've added chemicals, fixed things, added more chemicals, cleaned it.......and when I say WE I mean THE HUSBAND.
There was the great tadpole extinction of '09 where we had to kill literally thousands of tadpoles that had decided to grow in it - because in our ignorance we hadn't kept enough chemical in it. There have been trips to the pool shop and HELL even a pool GUY came out.
The pool has been, in short, a feckin nightmare.
Everything changed this evening, when it went from a blight to a luxury.......when we stepped into it's water and discovered that THIS was what owning a pool was like.
Suddenly this house just became an even better bargain.
And in the water, my hips don't hurt, my feet don't hurt......my aches and pains that seem to be chronic just vanish. Part of me would like to smack the previous owners for not giving us better information on how to make the pool work. But based on some of the nonsense that they did around my house (ask me about the sparkles embedded in the textured walls of my kitchen) I suspect asking them would not be the best plan.
Is it silly or primal the comfort that you get in a pool of water? We've all just been in this ecstatic place all evening - planning the LONGER swimming session tomorrow. I thought the kids would drop straight off but they're giggling in their room. One has been giggling forever, something like a joyous cackle that he can't turn off.
I guess he had a good time swimming too.
What Does Joy Look Like?
I think that it looks something like this. It's nearly been one year since I signed a stack of papers that made this pink house ours. And in that year, we've spent a fortune trying to get the pool working.I suspect that if you BUY a pool it comes with instructions, maybe even some sort of cursory training. But if you buy a house which COMES WITH a pool.......well then, the training you get is "There are some chemicals in the shed."
For one year we've added chemicals, fixed things, added more chemicals, cleaned it.......and when I say WE I mean THE HUSBAND.
There was the great tadpole extinction of '09 where we had to kill literally thousands of tadpoles that had decided to grow in it - because in our ignorance we hadn't kept enough chemical in it. There have been trips to the pool shop and HELL even a pool GUY came out.
The pool has been, in short, a feckin nightmare.
Everything changed this evening, when it went from a blight to a luxury.......when we stepped into it's water and discovered that THIS was what owning a pool was like.
Suddenly this house just became an even better bargain.
And in the water, my hips don't hurt, my feet don't hurt......my aches and pains that seem to be chronic just vanish. Part of me would like to smack the previous owners for not giving us better information on how to make the pool work. But based on some of the nonsense that they did around my house (ask me about the sparkles embedded in the textured walls of my kitchen) I suspect asking them would not be the best plan.
Is it silly or primal the comfort that you get in a pool of water? We've all just been in this ecstatic place all evening - planning the LONGER swimming session tomorrow. I thought the kids would drop straight off but they're giggling in their room. One has been giggling forever, something like a joyous cackle that he can't turn off.
I guess he had a good time swimming too.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Neither a Steinem Nor a Cleaver Be
So I sit in this group I belong to, a group of women with whom I reproductive tendencies in common, and I am listening to a speaker. We often have a speaker and sometimes they are good and sometimes they are bad but what NEVER fails to blow my mind is how they don't seem to have any clue WHO we are or anything about WOMEN who exist in the year 2009.
This idiot, for instance.
He seems like a nice enough man - until he talks for a while. And he's talking about getting massages, and about the therapeutic/real world/medicinal benefits to your overall being blah blah blah. Yes, we get it - MASSAGES ARE GOOD FOR YOU.
This is when he trips up, because the question is posed to the group "Why don't you regularly get massages" and everyone giggles and mentions price.
I suppose we giggle because we're girls and girls are supposed to giggle. It's the herd mentality at work.
This is when he then goes astray........puts a foot wrong, as far as I'm concerned.
He starts telling us that OUR HUSBANDS ARE OUT SPENDING MONEY! Oh YES THEY ARE!
And that WE DESERVE something nice for our selves.
We deserve to get our hair and nails done! We deserve massages and shopping trips!
Because.......are you ready?
HE KNOWS THAT THIS IS IMPORTANT TO WOMEN.
Blink.
He keeps talking. (I had him a metaphorical shovel).
He goes on about how if we're going to have to make sure our men have pressed shirts, and that we get dinner on the table.........well then that we deserve some luxuries to. AGAIN........he goes BACK to the hair and nails analogy. Again he insists that our husbands are out WASTING money and we don't know it.
Now.........I'm no Gloria Steinem. I'm not burning my bra, cuz I need it to hold up my tits. I like girly things, I like getting my hair and nails done. But basically what I was being told was that these were things I needed.......TO FUNCTION. That for me, as a woman, I had to have these things for my own personal satisfaction.
I suppose so that I'd be less likely to bitch about making his dinner, ironing his shirts and getting him that blow job he needs right after the kids go to bed. "But honey, you got your nails and toes done today - now get to work!"
Cuz that's equality at work! I suppose if I get a massage it's an all anal Friday night then eh? Clearly it's all about quid pro quo at that point.
Which doesn't seem like much of a marriage to me. And no my husband isn't out "blowing money" and guess what NEITHER AM I. If we want things, we make room in the budget for them, we discuss them like grown ups.
So I sat there and stewed about what an a-hole this guy was, and how even though his prices were good I was really sooooo not impressed - that although his wife might be greeting him at the door with a drinkee - really even my barely feminist self was offended at this throwback attitude to women. Basically - I was sitting there hating him and wishing he'd just up and quit pandering to us like a group of females slobbering for male attention.
And then they did the door prize drawing for a one hour massage.
This idiot, for instance.
He seems like a nice enough man - until he talks for a while. And he's talking about getting massages, and about the therapeutic/real world/medicinal benefits to your overall being blah blah blah. Yes, we get it - MASSAGES ARE GOOD FOR YOU.
This is when he trips up, because the question is posed to the group "Why don't you regularly get massages" and everyone giggles and mentions price.
I suppose we giggle because we're girls and girls are supposed to giggle. It's the herd mentality at work.
This is when he then goes astray........puts a foot wrong, as far as I'm concerned.
He starts telling us that OUR HUSBANDS ARE OUT SPENDING MONEY! Oh YES THEY ARE!
And that WE DESERVE something nice for our selves.
We deserve to get our hair and nails done! We deserve massages and shopping trips!
Because.......are you ready?
HE KNOWS THAT THIS IS IMPORTANT TO WOMEN.
Blink.
He keeps talking. (I had him a metaphorical shovel).
He goes on about how if we're going to have to make sure our men have pressed shirts, and that we get dinner on the table.........well then that we deserve some luxuries to. AGAIN........he goes BACK to the hair and nails analogy. Again he insists that our husbands are out WASTING money and we don't know it.
Now.........I'm no Gloria Steinem. I'm not burning my bra, cuz I need it to hold up my tits. I like girly things, I like getting my hair and nails done. But basically what I was being told was that these were things I needed.......TO FUNCTION. That for me, as a woman, I had to have these things for my own personal satisfaction.
I suppose so that I'd be less likely to bitch about making his dinner, ironing his shirts and getting him that blow job he needs right after the kids go to bed. "But honey, you got your nails and toes done today - now get to work!"
Cuz that's equality at work! I suppose if I get a massage it's an all anal Friday night then eh? Clearly it's all about quid pro quo at that point.
Which doesn't seem like much of a marriage to me. And no my husband isn't out "blowing money" and guess what NEITHER AM I. If we want things, we make room in the budget for them, we discuss them like grown ups.
So I sat there and stewed about what an a-hole this guy was, and how even though his prices were good I was really sooooo not impressed - that although his wife might be greeting him at the door with a drinkee - really even my barely feminist self was offended at this throwback attitude to women. Basically - I was sitting there hating him and wishing he'd just up and quit pandering to us like a group of females slobbering for male attention.
And then they did the door prize drawing for a one hour massage.
And I won.
So you know, how bad a guy can he really be?
Neither a Steinem Nor a Cleaver Be
So I sit in this group I belong to, a group of women with whom I reproductive tendencies in common, and I am listening to a speaker. We often have a speaker and sometimes they are good and sometimes they are bad but what NEVER fails to blow my mind is how they don't seem to have any clue WHO we are or anything about WOMEN who exist in the year 2009.
This idiot, for instance.
He seems like a nice enough man - until he talks for a while. And he's talking about getting massages, and about the therapeutic/real world/medicinal benefits to your overall being blah blah blah. Yes, we get it - MASSAGES ARE GOOD FOR YOU.
This is when he trips up, because the question is posed to the group "Why don't you regularly get massages" and everyone giggles and mentions price.
I suppose we giggle because we're girls and girls are supposed to giggle. It's the herd mentality at work.
This is when he then goes astray........puts a foot wrong, as far as I'm concerned.
He starts telling us that OUR HUSBANDS ARE OUT SPENDING MONEY! Oh YES THEY ARE!
And that WE DESERVE something nice for our selves.
We deserve to get our hair and nails done! We deserve massages and shopping trips!
Because.......are you ready?
HE KNOWS THAT THIS IS IMPORTANT TO WOMEN.
Blink.
He keeps talking. (I had him a metaphorical shovel).
He goes on about how if we're going to have to make sure our men have pressed shirts, and that we get dinner on the table.........well then that we deserve some luxuries to. AGAIN........he goes BACK to the hair and nails analogy. Again he insists that our husbands are out WASTING money and we don't know it.
Now.........I'm no Gloria Steinem. I'm not burning my bra, cuz I need it to hold up my tits. I like girly things, I like getting my hair and nails done. But basically what I was being told was that these were things I needed.......TO FUNCTION. That for me, as a woman, I had to have these things for my own personal satisfaction.
I suppose so that I'd be less likely to bitch about making his dinner, ironing his shirts and getting him that blow job he needs right after the kids go to bed. "But honey, you got your nails and toes done today - now get to work!"
Cuz that's equality at work! I suppose if I get a massage it's an all anal Friday night then eh? Clearly it's all about quid pro quo at that point.
Which doesn't seem like much of a marriage to me. And no my husband isn't out "blowing money" and guess what NEITHER AM I. If we want things, we make room in the budget for them, we discuss them like grown ups.
So I sat there and stewed about what an a-hole this guy was, and how even though his prices were good I was really sooooo not impressed - that although his wife might be greeting him at the door with a drinkee - really even my barely feminist self was offended at this throwback attitude to women. Basically - I was sitting there hating him and wishing he'd just up and quit pandering to us like a group of females slobbering for male attention.
And then they did the door prize drawing for a one hour massage.
This idiot, for instance.
He seems like a nice enough man - until he talks for a while. And he's talking about getting massages, and about the therapeutic/real world/medicinal benefits to your overall being blah blah blah. Yes, we get it - MASSAGES ARE GOOD FOR YOU.
This is when he trips up, because the question is posed to the group "Why don't you regularly get massages" and everyone giggles and mentions price.
I suppose we giggle because we're girls and girls are supposed to giggle. It's the herd mentality at work.
This is when he then goes astray........puts a foot wrong, as far as I'm concerned.
He starts telling us that OUR HUSBANDS ARE OUT SPENDING MONEY! Oh YES THEY ARE!
And that WE DESERVE something nice for our selves.
We deserve to get our hair and nails done! We deserve massages and shopping trips!
Because.......are you ready?
HE KNOWS THAT THIS IS IMPORTANT TO WOMEN.
Blink.
He keeps talking. (I had him a metaphorical shovel).
He goes on about how if we're going to have to make sure our men have pressed shirts, and that we get dinner on the table.........well then that we deserve some luxuries to. AGAIN........he goes BACK to the hair and nails analogy. Again he insists that our husbands are out WASTING money and we don't know it.
Now.........I'm no Gloria Steinem. I'm not burning my bra, cuz I need it to hold up my tits. I like girly things, I like getting my hair and nails done. But basically what I was being told was that these were things I needed.......TO FUNCTION. That for me, as a woman, I had to have these things for my own personal satisfaction.
I suppose so that I'd be less likely to bitch about making his dinner, ironing his shirts and getting him that blow job he needs right after the kids go to bed. "But honey, you got your nails and toes done today - now get to work!"
Cuz that's equality at work! I suppose if I get a massage it's an all anal Friday night then eh? Clearly it's all about quid pro quo at that point.
Which doesn't seem like much of a marriage to me. And no my husband isn't out "blowing money" and guess what NEITHER AM I. If we want things, we make room in the budget for them, we discuss them like grown ups.
So I sat there and stewed about what an a-hole this guy was, and how even though his prices were good I was really sooooo not impressed - that although his wife might be greeting him at the door with a drinkee - really even my barely feminist self was offended at this throwback attitude to women. Basically - I was sitting there hating him and wishing he'd just up and quit pandering to us like a group of females slobbering for male attention.
And then they did the door prize drawing for a one hour massage.
And I won.
So you know, how bad a guy can he really be?
