A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.

Monday, August 04, 2014

Chip Lust

I admit, I like the social media blitz campaigns of the "suggested flavors" of Lays chips. The Sriracha btw were the BEST EVER BRING THOSE BACK LAYS!

This time we've gotten three out of the four. We're missing the Wasabi Ginger, which I really want to try. As of today I've tried all three of these and my expert junk food opinions follow.

Wavy Salsa Mango: Meh. I don't like salsa. I like mango. I don't believe salsa and mango belong in the same sentence much less on the same chip. I would eat them vs. starving. They're not like, vile, they're just not a flavor I enjoy.

~Cheddar~ Bacon Mac & Cheese: First of all why the tilda around cheddar? Is this there way of telling me it isn't actually cheddar? Because I know the difference between cheese and cheese powder. This isn't my first day eating junk food. This is a non-offensive chip product. If you served it, I would have some and enjoy them - to a degree. Not like "DAMN THIS IS A TASTY BURGER" kind of enjoy, but still, it's a chip, it tastes a bit like cheese and a bit like bacon and that's a win regardless that it's powder cheese and powder bacon. These would be an acceptable flavor to win, in my book, except they aren't really "special". Fake cheese and fake bacon isn't new to any snack market line of products worth it's salt, so this isn't really a WHOA HEY WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT NOW? The macaroni flavor was non-existent, exactly like real macaroni until you put something with flavor on it. So I guess KUDOS on that bit of authenticity?

CAPPUCCINO: HERE IS YOUR DARK HORSE. This sounds horrible. WHO THE HELL WANTS A COFFEE FLAVORED CHIP? I showed this picture to people and they scoffed, I was accused of shopping the image. Who would even MAKE a coffee flavored chip? These geniuses would. Ok, so yes, it's a bit salty, and then it's a bit sweet with this delicious creamy coffee flavor. HOW did they do this? Witchcraft? Why can't the make the bacon and cheese taste better then? This is the weirdest thing ever. It's really, like a dessert chip. If dessert chips existed. I think you should beat some cream cheese, or fold in some whipped cream, and make some kind of dip. In fact I'm going to do that. I'm going to INVENT a dip for these things.

Or ask my husband to invent it.

Regardless. This is happening.

So no, I'm sorry. I know folks I work with were hoping to taunt me when I dropped the various chips off at the "free" table in the lunch room but not, they're staying here with us. NO CHIPS FOR YOU!