A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Things Which Are Not Breaking News

  • Anyone just doing their job -ie. Firefighters rescue someone. This is a good thing, but really, they are supposed to rescue people. Firefighters rescuing someone in the midst of breaking news size TRAGEDY are exempt and this is then BREAKING NEWS. (Example, Firefighters rescue me from a tree - NOT breaking news, Firefighters rescue me from the depths of a coal mine - THIS is breaking news.)
  • Weather which is not catastrophic - this includes thunderstorms. Tornadoes are breaking news, HAIL could be. Thunderstorms - not so much.
  • People on Capital Hill speaking about this or that, regardless of whether or not they are under subpoena. Really, breaking news used to be things you did not know were going to happen.
  • Governments Balancing Budgets - Like Chris Rock says "you don't get credit for doing what you are SUPPOSED to do".
  • Someone telling us the economy is bad. Duh, you're a retard and this is NOT breaking news.
  • Dick Cheney being mad at W - not breaking news. This is a personal squabble. And again, only unexpected things should be breaking news.

Here are my official guidelines for breaking news. I will appreciate it if CNN and all the lesser news agencies will please abide by them: (don't make me do a damned I-Report)

Breaking News IS:

  • Something unexpected
  • Something which effects more than the people immediately invovled (see Dick Cheney Mad at W above)
  • Something that has national impact - even if just on our hearts and minds
  • Something very very tragic
  • Something very very dangerous
  • Something very very good
  • Something bigger than it's bi-line.
  • Something that makes the person who reads it or hears it say "Oh my god......." and immediately want to share it.