A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.
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Monday, February 02, 2009

They Are Not Your Children

So, I realize that there may be an outcry of rage at these words, but I seriously just have to put it out there because I'm about to burst.
Your pets are not your children.

Let me back up a moment, because I don't mean to be OVERLY harsh to the childless nor to indicate that you don't love your pets unconditionally. But there are some very basic and irefutable differences that you're going to have to acknowledge.

  1. They are pets. I have pets. I adore them. They are precious to me and I've known them about 15 years. You own pets. You do not own children.
  2. They have a lifespan of less than 20 years (Human years don't convert and be annoying). In a pet thisis normal, in a child this is a tragedy.
  3. You can board a pet, and no that isn't the same as carting them off to Grandma's. You can think it's the same but I'm about 99% sure that Grandma loves the baby and the dog kennel people do not love your dog.
  4. When your pet dies, you grieve and are sad and eventually you'll probably get another pet and move on. When your child dies, your heart never heals - even if you have another child.
  5. Getting a dog or a cat (but usually it's a dog) does not prepare you for having a child. Not in any way shape or form. It is the equivalent of saying that boot camp prepares you for war. You learn a routine with a dog, and in boot camp. You learn real battle tactics in the field....just like parenthood.
  6. Your dog is cute. I don't like dogs no. But yours is cute. No, I don't want to pet him - because he smells like dog that's why.
  7. Getting a pet is not really a responsibility, it's a hobby. If it dies, you can replace it with one that looks nearly like it even. You will never know the meaning of your whole life being HAVE TO - unless you have a child. (And this is ok, not everyone SHOULD have a child).

So please, don't tell me that you got a dog because you're thinking about having a baby and you wanted to "have a sense of the responsibility" involved. I swear to GOD the AKC came up with that myth.

Let me make one last point.......just to illustrate how very DIFFERENT having a pet vs. having a child is.

There were two accidents on the floor of this house last week. One by a pet, one by a child. If the pet keeps it up, she's going to live outside.

The child on the other hand - well thats not even on the table now is it?

Get it?

4 comments:

Frank said...

We don't own the kids? How will I ever make a profit if I don't own them?

The Redheaded Lefty said...

It's true, though I do treat my dog like he's my "first child." I find it borderline obnoxious when someone (sans kids) tells me that they are getting a dog to prepare for a baby. I scoff at that. They can't be compared. Period.

Anonymous said...

True. Whenever I hear that a young couple is thinking of getting a dog to "test drive" what it's like to have kids, it makes me sad. I worked in animal rescue, and I know what comes next -- they do have a baby, and the dog gets left behind. Figuratively, literally, emotionally... First you stop taking daily walks. Then you forget to feed him. Then you forget that you forgot. Then he's barely a part of your life anymore, but he's stuck in your house. Or you give him up.

Do us all a favor, people, and just get a plant.

Auds at Barking Mad said...

Brilliant!

I have discovered recently that I am NOT NOT NOT a puppy person. Can't stand them ( I know I know, how horrible!), but babies and kids! Hell yeah! Love em. Have had 5 of my own. Now if I had never had kids before getting a puppy and based my decision on that experience alone, I never would have known the joy that a child could bring to my life.