The Three Wick Candle

So years ago, either before we had our first or directly AFTER we were at a breakfast buffet on Father's day. At all the tables around us dad's were opening gifts of various sorts but the one we noted with shock and horror was the dad opening a big box that was filled with a big ass THREE WICK CANDLE, and a flower garland to go around the base.
Because THIS is what Dad wants for Father's day. A Three Wick Candle. I think we all know how much Dad's LOVE three wick candles. Dad's all across America will say this very night "Sweetie, since I didn't get a three wick candle for Father's day this year, why don't you host a Party Lite candle party so we can earn one with party credits?".
At that time we were horrified - how had MOM let this happen? And she was clearly pleased, like she didn't care because hey she got a new three wick candle out of the deal! The kids were pleased, beaming across the table "oh Daddy we knew you'd love it!"
So we made a pact. We would never let the three wick candle happen. No matter what that meant, we'd be strong and guide our children to REASONABLE gifts. Gifts someone would like. (okay I would like a three wick candle........it's become a metpahor now). But you get the point. No Metaphorical Three Wick Candles are to be given.
I learned this Father's Day shopping trip WHY the Three Wick Candle happens. As I was shopping for the new Paul Simon album, my son picked up a Bob Seger album and some Musica Latina CDs. "No honey, Daddy would really love this."
"No he wouldn't -he wants this!"
"No baby, Daddy loves Paul Simon - this will be a great surprise, we'll get him this, we can listen to it in the car!"
"NO! I want to get him THIS!"Hold up Bob Seger.
"No sweetheart, we aren't getting that."
And the tears start, the broken heart, the near tantrum.....I threaten a public spanking, the tears dry up to choked sobs.
I think of the three wick candle. This is how it happened. The mom said EFF IT and said "okay you can give daddy the three wick candle."
So we go stand in line to check out, and they have various novelty snacks and treats on a big display "Honey would you like to get Daddy some candy or something for Father's Day?"
"YES YES YES YES!"
And that is why in addition to the new Paul Simon CD and Galactic Civilizations 2 - my husband is also getting a cookie that is iced with an image of BRIAN from the FAMILY GUY whizzing on a fire hydrant.
Happy Father's Day Baby.
Hope you enjoy your three wick candle.