When we were in our early 20s, my friends and I used to howl at stories of people's parents who had witnessed or DONE disgusting body function things to one another. The story of your mom's tampon getting stuck and your dad going to help her get it out.......you get the picture. Horrifying, hilarious, such intimacy. We knew we would never engage in such revolting body things - and certainly not in front of other people. My boss once told me, back then, that she'd had such a bad migraine that her husband had had to put her suppositories in.........which we retold over beers - HOWLING! Old married people, you disgusted us! It was very nice and comforting to know that we would never be icky, "body function doing in front of other people", sort of individuals. Surely this ailment was generational......right?
This was before we had our own long term relationships, or given birth where against your will you poop in front a of a bunch of people.......so these sort of things seemed so alien. But I was reminded of how far away I am from that person last night.
You see, my oldest son just discovered that he is male and cannot poop in public. Previously he could poop in public, with the help his little take along toilet seat insert, we could manage just fine. But yesterday, after not pooping for two days, he realized he had to go. Then, when we got to the stall at Epcot ladies room......he discovered his inner MAN. And couldn't go. We had multiple attempts. He truly HAD to go. But after the tears and so much drama that I won't even go INTO it here......he begged us to let him wait until we got home.
We drove home convinced he would poop his pants and we weren't going to punish him....after all, it's hard to be three and he's a very good little guy. He was very upset about the whole thing.
As soon as we got home we rushed him to the bathroom and after a couple of minutes I popped in to check on our progress. He looks up wide, teary eyes and whispers "It's stuck Mom, help."
You know what happens when you don't poop for a few days? Your body make a large rock like product.
And to show you how different a person I am from the person who once cracked up over beers at stories of bodily functions, I'll tell you I didn't even think twice. I grabbed some toilet paper, grabbed the offending object and pulled.
Some day when he's being 16 and giving me attitude, I'll threaten to tell the story of the time I pulled the poop out of his butt. That should straighten him right up.