The Long Dark Potty Training of The Soul

It's back to potty training.

Miles has been, well, just unbearable for a while. Weeks/days whatever. He's bored he's unhappy, he's pooping every ten minutes and DEMANDING to be changed and if you don't he MELTS DOWN.

Autism parents know very well that you will do anything in your power to STOP the melt down. The only thing better than stopping the melt down is preventing the melt down.

We've done a little of this and a little of that, but the toileting issue has boiled up.

Where we ARE with potty training is, well frankly we suck as parents. It's just EASIER to deal with diapers than with underpants, soiled clothes, soiled furniture etc. Except that it's not cheaper (by any means) and we suck because HE CAN DO IT.

He uses the potty ALL DAY at school. Of course, sometimes he has accidents. In what I'd like to call some sort of freakish hell of a policy, they put the SOILED garments in ziplocs and return them. Imagine clothing that has marinated in pee and poop then done the hot bus ride home waiting for you inside your child's backpack. DELIGHTFUL I tell you. My husband does laundry. Everyone should go-fund-me for him a get away I swear, the poor man.

Some people run loads of darks, loads of lights, loads of delicates. We have an extra type of load - POOP loads. Special runs of the washer and dryer just solely for those clothing items. "I need work pants washed." "Ok but I'm running a poop load right now." That's a sort of conversation we have around here.

That's autism life.

We decided last night that maybe, just MAYBE, he wants underpants. Maybe that's why the freak out as soon as he poops. With a "typical" child, once they can tell you they've gone you know you can start working on it because they have an understanding. So I'm taking it as a sign that Miles will literally shout POOP at me, that this is a readiness signal. He doesn't like it, he wants it gone.

So this morning when we got up, I put him in underpants.

I've gone to the bathroom with him about 10 times to wipe "a dab" of poop - apparently we can't just LET IT ALL OUT AT ONCE. We've watched videos while trying to let the poop out. I've made a point to stop everything and go immediately every time. Exactly like A GOOD PARENT SHOULD.

Somebody give me a cookie.

So I hear someone peeing behind me in the half bath and that's my signal to get up and investigate.

We're gonna figure this out little boy. I promise.