The One With Allergies From Hell

I have had this thing going on for weeks where allergies break out all over my skin. Well, not allergies but rather the result from allergies - rash, hives, whatever you want to call it. I'm allergic to something. Something erupts on my skin several times a day in a most disconcerting fashion. It makes me feel like this.

Ok that's a Fiji Mermaid. But that's about how I feel despite the fact that I have to remain civil and attend meetings and act like a grown up all day. First my skin starts to burn. That's the herald that it's incoming. You can't see it when the burn starts, but I could outline where it's going to erupt based on that burn. Then up it comes, in red splotches, dots, stripes etc. It stretches up and down my arms, my neck, back, legs, abdomen. Hell once it crawled up my neck and onto my face - during a meeting.

I thought my boss was going to have a heart attack, he looked up and said "Oh my god are you okay?" I smiled and glanced back at my laptop, "Yeah it's just allergies." Move forward- nothing to see here.

But WHAT allergy? WTF is doing this to me? I went to my primary doctor and he ran the gauntlet of tests. My SED rates were all nice and low so it's not autoimmune in nature. He put me on three different antihistamines to keep it under control This had the effect of pushing me into a zombie like trance,and doing nothing for the hives.

Well that isn't completely true - I had some serious relief for about 3 days. About day 3 whatever the allergen is said AH HA HERE I AM! Then my arms blew up in deep red burning and itching rash.

It seems likely that's its a food allergy. According to the internets, where everything is true and nothing is ever wrong or blown out of proportion, DAIRY is the most common food allergy because of all the shit they do to fuck with cows and our milk. So...I've given up dairy. I'm on day five I think? I don't know. I'm not counting per se - it's just recent so not hard to keep track of.

Once again I had three days of relative improvement, much like when I started antihistamines. Then yesterday my arms blew up like there was some "Miss Rash of 2017" contest they were participating in. My shoulders and armpits had a go as well. It was delightful.

I'm going to the allergist on the 18th so 11 more days until I hopefully learn something. If she says "contact dermatitis" I'll pretty much throw myself off a building as that's clearly not it. But allergist and dermatologists love to say that. Here, have some cortisone cream. You'll feel better.

It burns and it itches and it looks like shit.  As I lay in bed at night succumbing to the two benadryl required at bed time, I can't help but wonder if this is my new normal because folks if so we may have found the thing I'm not stronger than. I can't sustain with this level of sedating drug inside me. It's exhausting me. I'm struggling.

The Fiji Mermaid knows. That's why she's making that face.