"Sit tight I'm gonna need you to keep time just snap snap snap snap your fingers...."
Because I'm nervous.
At least I was last night.
You probably remember that I have the getting lost fear/anxiety. I've added the fear of meeting new people to it. I don't know why.
So in my car I am gripped with anxiety last night, on my way to the local twins club meeting.
I wanted to go. I even knew where it was. I'd been once before several months ago. I needed to go. I need to meet people here. Yet, even getting in my car after work made me want to jump out of my skin in a total freak out.
So I'm driving.
I've put in my stress music - the SNAKES ON A PLANE SOUNDTRACK.
Track two by Panic in the Disco - and I'm SINGING. Loudly.
Driving down the Georgia highway, on my way to the town next to mine where I will walk into a room full of strangers and pretend like I belong.
When I get there, it doesn't go so well at first. I've messed up. I was supposed to see person X at the entrance who was supposed to give me a table assignment.......but I did see person X however she just stared at me as I walked by and I didn't know who she was so I just kept going.
Once everyone gets over me having completely destroyed their well laid plan of table assignment I'm found a seat.
So I sit there.
The room is full of people that seem to know each other.
"Good good now we're making some progress just tap tap tap your toes to the beat" I'm singing in my head. I sit and read the notices on the table. I look at my purse calendar. And wait.
Finally other people start sitting down.
And there is food served.
And we start talking.
And things start to get better. We tell stories. We eat and talk about the food. We tell more stories. I meet another blogger. People are nice. I start to relax. We're having fun and cracking up. Then it' s over.
I drive home and miss Sarah. If I hadn't moved away also, I'd be unbelievably pissed off at her for moving away herself.