Everyone has different rituals regarding unloading a deuce. I knew it was love when I had a boyfriend that I could actually CONVERSE with about these rituals. We discovered that we were both READERS, and when circumstances required it, we were readers of shampoo, conditioner and other body cleansing bottles found in the bathrooms of our friends. I found that I only needed methylisopropylzolinone to get my work finished, but he required more words, sometimes all of the ingredients to accomplish his tasks. And despite the fact that we haven't been together in years, if I do happen to say hello online I never fail to inquire if he's still a bathroom soap bottle reader.
He is.
My husband is, luckily enough, also a reader. I don't know what I would've done if I married someone with some different sort of ritual. I would probably have been embarrassed about my own ritual, maybe he would've been embarrassed about his and we couldn't have shared this intimate if not weird part of our lives. He reads magazine articles or newspaper articles. Lately, since I'm usually in my own home, I like to read HOLLIS GILLESPIE as her stuff is short - but still longer than I need. If I'm not at home I admit I've become a "toilet cell-phone video game" player. I can knock out the entire trial version of BEJEWELED in the time needed to complete my, ahem, task.
I've wondered recently where do the toilet rituals come from? My mom certainly never sat me down with a book to entertain me.
Is it nature or nurture?
My question was answered last night.
The 4 year old requested a catalog to look at while on the toilet "to help the poop come out."
Yeah, it's nature.
2 comments:
Wow, talk about a milestone. "And when you were four, you had your first catalog poop." [wistful sigh]
Hoop refers to it as, "Dropping the Cosby kids off at the pool" and "Pinching a loaf." He's also a bathroom reader. Me? I'm in and out as quick as possible.
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